Antisocials are always looking for ways to dodge going out. They always have an Arsenal of excuses to use whenever they are invited out. They’re experts at dodging invitations and finding loopholes so they can lie down in bed all day. If you hear any of these 5 excuses, just know that they’re trying to […]
“…So I asked them “Are you all right?” and they said “Yes.” But I said, “No, you’re all left!!!” *crickets* We’ve all been in a situation where our friends don’t get the great humour we have to offer and our fantastic jokes fly over their heads. Don’t worry, if you do the things on this […]
If you’ve ever thought of pegging someone, but weren’t sure where to start from, we’ve graciously gathered some very useful information. Here are seven things we think you should know before you take such a big step. 1) Do not use actual pegs I know it says pegging, but please it is not the kind […]
“I’ll never drink again.” If only I had a dollar for every time I’ve heard that. You’ve said it countless times, only to find yourself drinking the next Friday. You’ve probably said it nothing less than five times, for various reasons. Let’s run through all the times you said “never again”, shall we? 1. When […]
Religion and spirituality are a huge part of the Nigerian experience and atheism isn’t as common as it is in other parts of the world. We spoke with a few Nigerians about leaving religion and discovering themselves. Check it out. 1. Wale, 26 I’ve been an atheist for seven years now. I was born into […]
Babatunde Fashola, former governor of Lagos State, now Minister of Works, Housing and Power (we should have known this guy had some serious powers; how else could he be the head of not one, not two, but three crucial ministries?) yesterday miraculously discovered a camera at the scene of the Lekki massacre, conveniently perched by […]
In light of this recent and brilliant discovery, we’ve tabled a list of things we need the government to help us quickly find. We await their favourable response. 1) Location of Bubu Call us, daddy Bubs. We miss you. 2) Canadian bae with citizenship Lagos state government, pls. It’s urgent. Pls, bae must be located […]
The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 32-year-old heterosexual woman who realised she only enjoys sex with people she’s not supposed to sleep with — what she calls “forbidden sex”.
At 11:49 am today, the official Twitter account of the Lagos State governor, Jide Sanwoolu released a series of tweets announcing a 24-hour curfew within the state, taking effect at 4 pm. This comes on the heels of a similar curfew imposed yesterday in Edo State. This curfew does not seem to make a lot […]
“Cousin traffic, ear and dear.”
If you’re looking to use your youthful energy join in the current peaceful EndSARS protests against police brutality but your boss won’t let you go because “Client is calling and asking for deadlines”, this article is for you. We’ll walk you through all the lies you can tell to your boss after you miss work […]
Anyone who has Nigerian parents will be able to relate to one or more things on this list. See below: 1) Lock the door and hide the key. “As long as you’re in my house, you’re not going anywhere.” 2) Roll on the floor and ask you to “kill them.” The award for best actor […]
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 30-year-old heterosexual man who’s been married for three years
Although non-members of the LGBTQ+ community are harassed when profiled as “gay”, a lot of people believe that the QueerNigerianLivesMatter hashtag is unnecessary. Members of the LGBTQ+ community, like many Nigerians, are fighting for their right to exist. They are victims of police brutality. So, we spoke to some queer Nigerian protesters to tell us […]
The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 28-year-old heterosexual man who has had an active sex life. These days though,he’s tired of having sex with his girlfriend of six years and although he has several theories, he isn’t sure why.
“All of our representatives are currently ignoring you.”
Nigerians are many things, depending on what the situation they are in requires them to be. And sometimes, this means putting on an imaginary white coat and prescribing drugs for themselves. Everyone is guilty of this, and that’s why we have this list of drugs lots of people use without a prescription. 1. Paracetamol The […]
Na fat I fat oh. I no kill person.
Childhood was probably the peak of our lives. Free food, no rent, no responsibilities and plenty of fun. Until we were scammed into adulthood, which we all know is the absolute ghetto. Sometimes I wonder about the things I would bring back from my childhood if I could. 1. Naps. Remember how you had to […]
Sea school is a citizenship and leadership training center with a branch in Apapa. If you had ever gone, then this article is like taking a walk down memory lane. 1) Endurance walk The endurance walk is an approximately three hour walk from sea school to Tarkwa Bay beach. Imagine trekking for three hours just […]
This article will you show you areas in your life that desperately needs a touch of yeast infection plus, it applies to both genders.
You can’t tell me anything — everyone who grew up in Nigeria heard these things or variations of them growing up. It would have been great if we had everything it took to retort and have the last word. Don’t get me wrong, the situation won’t probably end as a complete win, but it would […]
“While he was still inside me, I reached for my phone and ordered an Uber.”
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It’s fascinating how the mind can unscramble words we find familiar in seconds. Take this quiz to find out if your mind can unscramble these colours in a minute. Make a financial commitment to keep Zikoko Zikoko-ing.
On October 29, 2020, we’ll be launching Love Life, a new Zikoko series about relationships, situationships and entanglements. In preparation, we created this quiz to answer a burning question we know you have — are you ready for true love? Let’s find out.
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