A few months ago we began the NYSC Diaries, which covered inside life stories of NYSC in Nigeria. Stories like things NYSC corps members can relate to or what to do when you’re posted to a faraway place, like Borno.
A new NYSC batch has been called in for camp. So, everyday by 1:30PM for the next 21 days, one of our writers will be sharing his day-to-day camp experiences.
People are looking at me weird because I’m washing my hair. It’s just shampoo, leave-in conditioner, and moisturizer. My hair has horribly dried out and tangled in these couple of weeks and I’m beginning to feel like a mad person. I’m going out into the real world tomorrow, please. Let them not chase me from home.
I’m in church. I came here to focus on God but because I’m in OBS, now I’m dealing with technical and sound issues. Wherever I walk, work meets me. Money, see your mate?
I’m going back to my hostel when I pass by a hostel. I laugh. This hostel must be full of Yoruba angels. I decide to walk a bit more so I can find more hostels that are perfectly fitting for Yoruba men
Because Yoruba men are committed till the end. Every allegation you hear is a lie.
Yoruba men are honest and full of integrity. They will never break your heart. Any objections?
These people like lying. They said every Sunday is for rest until 4 p.m. but they’re chasing us out of the hostels because the Director General of NYSC is coming to speak to us.
Every speech I’ve heard in this place sounds like the same thing. It’s like “Yes you can copy my assignment but don’t let it be the exact same thing.” Sometimes, I predict what they’re going to say next. This man seems nice though.
We’ve just finished final parades along with some long addresses. I think we did great. I remember that we’re going to have to wear those orange combat boots tomorrow and my heart starts beating fast. Oh well, tomorrow will take care of itself. Let me rush to OBS.
So this is why they were telling us to rush down to OBS. We call the coordinator of OBS “Mummy” because she is such a great woman. She’s the perfect boss/mother combo. I will miss her. She bought chicken suya, beef suya and drinks for us and then we went round speaking about how nice it has been working at OBS. Someone is crying. This is giving me university ending vibes. Ugh.
I see the guy that got punished in my stead yesterday. I laugh as I pass him by. Maybe this is what movie villains feel like and that’s why they never stop being villains.
Before they cancelled evening parades yesterday the military instructor asked if we enjoyed the carnival and what we wanted to make it better. From the crowd, I shouted “Alcohol!” and he looked in our direction, fished him out and punished him for wanting alcohol.
I’m finally packing my box. People are asking me why. They should not even vex me this night. Did you people not get the memo that we’re leaving tomorrow????
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