If you’ve ever been in one, you’ll know that long-distance relationships are the ghetto. From the constant I miss yous to the severe horniness that afflicts you, long-distance relationships are nothing to write home about. Luckily, there are a couple of things you can do to help make your long-distance relationship easier to bear. 1. […]

If a Nigerian man has shown you pepper, I greet you. Welcome to this quick class on how to prevent once bitten, twice shy. Have a seat and let’s go through this. 1) Anytime he’s going out, tell him to handover his penis. Prevention is better than cure. 2) Consult babalawo for juju. Flip the […]

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it […]

Nigerian women are always suspicious when their men have female best friends. Maybe it’s because they know the things they do with their own male best friends (Don’t quote me sha). I think women should be more open to the idea of female best friends for their men. Read on for all the benefits of […]

It’s almost impossible to make Nigerian fathers happy. Swim through seven shark-infested oceans and a Nigerian father can ask you if your friend who swam through eigh oceans has two heads. If you think telling your father you love him will make him happy, you’re in for a rude shock. Lucky for you, there are […]

One of the most uncomfortable situations anyone can be faced with is trying to buy a condom for the first time.  Your babe/man/FWB comes over and things are getting heated. They (wisely) say they are not going ahead without a condom so you have to hustle to the pharmacy to get one. You approach the […]

Masturbation is actually good for you. For men, it helps protect you against prostate cancer. For everybody else, it’s a great way to improve your mood and help you sleep better. Unfortunately, the African society doesn’t seem to take too kindly to this hobby. For something people do so much, we find the wildest euphemisms […]

Nigerian women. What a phenomenon. If you’ve ever had to woo a Nigerian woman, you know it’s not exactly the easiest of tasks. Asides swimming through 7 oceans and conquering 7 mountains, there a few other things that can get you to a Nigerian woman’s heart. I made a list. 1. Give her money You […]

In the bedroom, naked, we are stripped to our most primal form. All our trappings and adornments are peeled off, leaving us bare, locked in horizontal combat. It’s in times like this that our biggest insecurities and fears come to the fore. Many men struggle under the weight of insecurities. With a society that forces […]

Pretty much every man has been in the clutches of Igbo women at some point. They’re renowned worldwide for their wickedness and cold-heartedness. If you haven’t been hurt by Igbo women before, this article is for you. I’m trying to save you before it ends in premium tears. If an Igbo woman is catching your […]

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it […]

What is cheating to you? Is it physical? emotional? or in between? 9 Nigerian men tell us their definition. Sit back and read: Oga M./Early 40’s. A lot of people only classify cheating based on what they can see – A man leaves his wife to hang with another woman, sleeps with her and gets […]

At some point, every Nigerian man has toyed with the idea of having a sugar mummy. Don’t deny it. Even you. The appeal of finding sex and financial aid in the same place is the Nigerian man’s dream. With the Nigerian economy being what it is, the demand for sugar mummies has skyrocketed. As usual, […]

We asked 9 Nigerian woman to tell us the worst pick up lines men have used on them. Here’s what they had to say: Mary/23. There was a tweet asking about the weirdest smell you like. So, I posted on my Instagram story and I was like “you guys don’t want to know.” Then a […]

Here’s a common Twitter scenario: A woman posts a tweet saying “This man’s birthday is coming and I don’t know what to get him.” Some clowns will quote the tweet, saying she should give him 1,500 and boxers.  Since women are always so confused about things Nigerian men actually want, we the nice people at […]

Many people seem to have different ideas of what it means to be a man. Here’s our own addition to that list: 1) If you can’t fight off armed robbers. Without any weapon. 2) If you can’t kill a snake. Using only your hands. 3) If you can’t cheat quietly. Why must you always confess […]

I was talking to a couple of friends in a group chat, and somehow (don’t ask how), rounds of sex came up. After much hullabaloo, it became clear that there was no standard definition of what a round of sex constituted. Of course, I had to ask people about their opinions on this issue of […]

If you grew up with a Nigerian father, chances are that he may not have said “I love you” very loudly. However, he must have done one of these: 1) By paying school fees. Thank you, daddy for showing up every term without fail. 2) Allowing you eat meat from his plate. Ignoring your mum’s […]

Every person needs a space to call theirs. Many Nigerian men have interests that might not exactly fit with the general theme of your living environment. Enter the man cave.  Think of the man cave as a personal sanctuary, everything designed just how you like it. Depending on your tastes, here are a couple of […]

If you’re a man who grew up in Nigeria, chances are that you’ve heard one or more of these: 7) “Don’t collect food from just any woman because of love potion.” Only if it was that easy. 6) “If you leave your hair at the barber’s shop, your destiny can enter voicemail.” Early 2000s were […]

Welcome to this masterclass. Please take a seat and listen attentively. Here are a few tips to use to beat Nigerian men at their own game. 1) Tell the person not to call you by a formal title. Emphasize that they call you by your first name because we are all “adults” here. 2) Deny […]

Look at your bank account balance. That’s Adam’s fault.

You know how Nigerians are generally homophobic; any small thing and they’ll recoil and say “Ah yew a gay?”  First of all there’s nothing wrong with being gay. Second of all, there are some perfectly normal things homosexual and heterosexual men should be able to do without being labelled. If you do some of the […]

A line from a popular Yoruba fuji song goes: It is the man with the potbelly you should give the money too. Indeed, Nigerians seem to place importance on how much body fat a man carries. Skinny people aren’t really taken seriously in these parts. Being a skinny man in Nigeria can be very frustrating. […]