Nigerian men are famous for these things, and as a Nigerian man myself, I’m here to help you break free from them. 2023 is a new year, so as men, we must adopt a “New Year, new me” mentality and avoid some of these weird habits.
Trying to connect your beard
If your beard didn’t connect last year, after gallons of beard growth oil, then there’s a high chance it won’t connect this year. Having faith is cute, but you’re a grown man, so please, move on. #MenWithPatchyBeardsMatter
Wearing skinny jeans
Why are you wearing skinny jeans that aren’t allowing your crowned jewels to breathe in big 2023? We cancelled skinny jeans in 2022, so I’d appreciate it if men got the memo to avoid looking like Johnny Bravo in jeggings.
Saying things like “gender wars” and “agenda must agend”
The only people allowed to use phrases like “Gender wars” and “Agenda must agend” on social media are Andrew Tate and Kelvin Odanz’ disciples. Unless that’s the legacy you want to leave behind, I’d advise that you avoid chatting dust on the timeline in 2023. Tenks.
The fear of bright colours
Real men wear pink, red, yellow, orange and purple. As black men, our skin was made to wear colour, regardless of what colonisers might’ve made us believe. Wearing black all the time to look edgy and mysterious has casted. Please, step into the light and touch grass.
Gym content creator dreams
But if there’s one thing I need men to drop in 2022, it’s the need to set up a tripod and record everything they’re doing in the gym. When did everyone become fitness content creators? We can’t walk freely in the gym now without getting into someone’s shot. Just work out and go home.
Flirting like a creep
You know that urge to say “Without me?” every time you chat with someone and they say they’re about to shower or eat? Very cringe. Please, don’t bring that razz behaviour into 2023. It might be hard, but have small shame.
Not using the “L” word with male friends
Tell your male friends you love them in 2023. Yes, you don’t have to say it for them to know you feel that way about them. But sometimes, verbal reassurance makes everyone feel so much better. Life is too short to allow patriarchy to build a wall between you and your mandem.
Driving like Vin Diesel
Just because you survived 2022 with your reckless driving doesn’t mean you’ll make it to the end of 2023 if you continue that way. Nigeria is not a film set, and you’re not part of the Fast and Furious Franchise, so learn to drive like a human being, not a cat with nine lives.
Not holding ourselves accountable for BS
We often see men either defend their male friends for awful behaviour or sit in silence as bystanders while their friends harm people around them. Well, that needs to change. If you know or see something messed up, speak up. Staying silent or encouraging bad behaviour will bite you in the bum bum one day.