I Like Doing These Things But Toxic Masculinity Won’t Allow Me Say it Outside

May 5, 2022

Toxic masculinity keeps getting in the way of bad bitchery, and here are 9 confessions from men to prove it.

“Saucy Santana makes me feel like a bad bitch.”

— Tobi*, 24

Whenever I listen to City Girls and Saucy Santana, I feel like a bad bitch. Their songs are empowering; they make me feel like I can take over the world. I’m also obsessed with Broadway musicals. I’m a great singer, and I learn the songs from all the musicals I watch so that I can sing along. It makes me feel as if I’m on Broadway too. I have all the songs from Hamilton on my phone. 

“I can’t tell another man that he’s handsome.”

— Obi*, 39

I don’t think there’s anything I enjoy doing that I won’t admit to publicly. One thing I’ll never do, though, is tell another man that he’s fine. If I want to compliment a man, I’ll talk about his shirt, watch, or shoes. At most, I’ll say he looks nice, but the word “handsome” won’t come out of my mouth. 

“I love being the small spoon.” 

— Tunde*, 25

I enjoy being the small spoon a lot. If you see my woman, you’d understand. She’s thick all over and her body is really soft. Having all that softness envelop me is pure bliss. I like having her in my embrace, but nothing compares to when I’m in hers. 

RELATED: 8 Things Nigerians Do That Qualify as Toxic Masculinity

“Painting my nails makes me feel sexy.”

— Batman*, 24

When my nails are painted, I feel sexy. And as long as a colour catches my eye, I’ll use it.  I’ve worn, blue, black, purple and pink nails. I’m looking forward to trying more. 

“I have a playlist filled with Ariana Grande and Demi Lovato songs.”

— Ibrahim*, 25

After listening to Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” album, I was inspired to come up with a playlist. In this playlist, I have songs by Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, etc. I even have the Baby Shark song on it. The playlist is basically the softest side of me. I sometimes use it to workout. Also, I’m a 6’2″ man, and I like to be the small spoon. 

“I find bubble baths comforting.”

— Matthew*, 30

Bubble baths are so comforting and relaxing. I take them at least twice a week. I use that time to either reflect on my life or listen to music and read a book. They help me de-stress from the mayhem of the day or week. It feels like I’m burying all my problems deep in soap bubbles. Also, I’m learning how to crochet and really enjoying it. 

“I like learning TikTok dances.”

— Musa*, 28

If my girlfriend finds out, she’ll take advantage of this. But I like recording TikTok videos, especially the ones that include dancing. When I’m bored, I often use the time to learn TikTok dances that never make it out of my bedroom.

“I loved watching Yoruba movies with my girlfriend.”

— Timmy*, 27

My girlfriend and I used to watch Yoruba movies every night, and I loved every bit of it. We always had a lot  fun when doing it, and we would laugh our eyes out . We don’t do it that much anymore, because I no longer live on the island and we don’t see that often. 

“Play with my hair, please”

— Akpan*, 23

I love my hair being played with. You can sell me like that. If nobody else is around to do it, I make my male friends play with my hair. 

ALSO READ: 6 Nigerian Men Recall the Times they Didn’t Really Feel Like Men

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