I Like Doing These Things But Toxic Masculinity Won’t Allow Me Say it Outside

May 5, 2022

Toxic masculinity keeps getting in the way of bad bitchery, and here are 9 confessions from men to prove it.

“Saucy Santana makes me feel like a bad bitch.”

— Tobi*, 24

Whenever I listen to City Girls and Saucy Santana, I feel like a bad bitch. Their songs are empowering; they make me feel like I can take over the world. I’m also obsessed with Broadway musicals. I’m a great singer, and I learn the songs from all the musicals I watch so that I can sing along. It makes me feel as if I’m on Broadway too. I have all the songs from Hamilton on my phone. 

“I can’t tell another man that he’s handsome.”

— Obi*, 39

I don’t think there’s anything I enjoy doing that I won’t admit to publicly. One thing I’ll never do, though, is tell another man that he’s fine. If I want to compliment a man, I’ll talk about his shirt, watch, or shoes. At most, I’ll say he looks nice, but the word “handsome” won’t come out of my mouth. 

“I love being the small spoon.” 

— Tunde*, 25

I enjoy being the small spoon a lot. If you see my woman, you’d understand. She’s thick all over and her body is really soft. Having all that softness envelop me is pure bliss. I like having her in my embrace, but nothing compares to when I’m in hers. 

RELATED: 8 Things Nigerians Do That Qualify as Toxic Masculinity

“Painting my nails makes me feel sexy.”

— Batman*, 24

When my nails are painted, I feel sexy. And as long as a colour catches my eye, I’ll use it.  I’ve worn, blue, black, purple and pink nails. I’m looking forward to trying more. 

“I have a playlist filled with Ariana Grande and Demi Lovato songs.”

— Ibrahim*, 25

After listening to Ariana Grande’s “thank u, next” album, I was inspired to come up with a playlist. In this playlist, I have songs by Taylor Swift, Ariana Grande, Demi Lovato, etc. I even have the Baby Shark song on it. The playlist is basically the softest side of me. I sometimes use it to workout. Also, I’m a 6’2″ man, and I like to be the small spoon. 

“I find bubble baths comforting.”

— Matthew*, 30

Bubble baths are so comforting and relaxing. I take them at least twice a week. I use that time to either reflect on my life or listen to music and read a book. They help me de-stress from the mayhem of the day or week. It feels like I’m burying all my problems deep in soap bubbles. Also, I’m learning how to crochet and really enjoying it. 

“I like learning TikTok dances.”

— Musa*, 28

If my girlfriend finds out, she’ll take advantage of this. But I like recording TikTok videos, especially the ones that include dancing. When I’m bored, I often use the time to learn TikTok dances that never make it out of my bedroom.

“I loved watching Yoruba movies with my girlfriend.”

— Timmy*, 27

My girlfriend and I used to watch Yoruba movies every night, and I loved every bit of it. We always had a lot  fun when doing it, and we would laugh our eyes out . We don’t do it that much anymore, because I no longer live on the island and we don’t see that often. 

“Play with my hair, please”

— Akpan*, 23

I love my hair being played with. You can sell me like that. If nobody else is around to do it, I make my male friends play with my hair. 

ALSO READ: 6 Nigerian Men Recall the Times they Didn’t Really Feel Like Men

Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 6, 2020

Sometimes, you meet a guy. Maybe a friend of a friend. You’re introduced to each other by name. You do the handshake and snap, but immediately you snapped fingers, you forgot his name. Fast forward to two weeks later. You’re walking down the street and you see this person. For the life of you, you […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 25, 2022

Just three months to the start of the 2023 elections, the National Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC), Senator Abdullahi Adamu, started a beef with the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC). It wasn’t about electoral violence or vote buying but rather a new feature of the 2023 elections. The APC national chairman believes Nigeria […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 4, 2019

After successfully predicting when y’all are getting married (please, email any complaints to noneofourbusiness@nayousabi.com), we are back to tell you how much is currently in your account. How, you might ask? By using your taste in Nollywood, of course. Shhh. No questions. Just take it already:

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

More from Man Dem

November 21, 2022

If you’re on social media every year from the 1st to the 30th of November, there’s a high chance you’ve heard about the #NoNutNovember challenge. The rules for the challenge are simple: step into November and do your best not to cum for 30 days.  While I initially thought the #NoNutNovember challenge was just social […]

November 6, 2022

My Bro is a biweekly Zikoko series that interrogates and celebrates male friendships of different forms. A random tweet and mutual love for photography brought Jerrie and Kunle together five years ago. Even though Jerrie hired Kunle as his photography assistant, the two have become best friends who aren’t scared to make fun of each […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X