Letters to women

We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Simi, the woman who wants her secondary school bestie back

To: Taofeeqat, her best friend who made the best jokes

Dear Taofeeqat,

It’s crazy how we’ve been best friends since SS 2. I don’t know if you know this, but you’re the first best friend I ever had who didn’t do me dirty.

Before you, every other person I applied the tag “best friend” to played me on a very massive scale. But that’s okay because all the hurt gave me you.

You’re the first person who’s ever made me laugh out loud. You cared about me, and you weren’t ashamed to show it. You loved on me and sent me such long love letters that always made me cry. I now cry because life is hard and it’s hard to not feel resentment towards how we’re too busy to talk as often. I wish I kept all of our letters to read.

Did you annoy me and make me want to break your head at times? Probably, yes. But you were my first in a lot of things: My first “I love you” was to you, and I meant it. My longest hug was with you. You were the first friend to see me cry, and the first I ever wrote a love letter to.

I know we’re going through a lot, and we’re busy trying to build lives for ourselves, but I wanted to remind you of the happy times when our biggest problem was submitting assignments. Not a day went by when we didn’t hug each other.

I miss those long hugs we had before everything fell apart between us last year. I miss the long love letters we wrote in black and red pen. Ah yes, I miss having so much to gossip with you about.

Just in case we never go back to the way we were, I want to thank you for being in my life the longest yet hurting me the least. Thank you for being calm and supportive when I went into hysterical breakdowns over anything that stressed me out. Thank you for loving me so gently that I didn’t have a single fear in the world.

This is my attempt at a love letter to get us to talk again and be as close as we used to be. Hopefully, you’ll blush and send me epistles when you see it.

I love you so much, bestie. I can’t tell my story without you in it.

Love,

Simi❤️
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Asa, who wishes she met her older sister at least once

To: Barbara, the older sister who’s gone but not forgotten

Dear Barbara,

Is there a thing like missing someone you never met?

I hardly speak about losing you. I often think people won’t understand or they’d believe I’m looking for sympathy if I tell them I miss you though we never met. All I have are memories from our parents. But I miss you, sister.

To me, family is thicker than physical. Family is always family.

Dear Barbara, I’m grown now. Well, still evolving. But my perspective on life has changed. I’m on this journey of taking my love for writing more seriously, and I wonder if you’d be proud of me. I’m hoping you would, and I hope you don’t mind that this letter is about you.

Dear Barbara, I look out for our younger sister. I know you’d do the same if you were here, and sometimes I wish you were here to look out for me too. Some days, I feel alone. But the thought that you would’ve been my best friend comforts me. I hear you whisper every time to me, “You’re strong.” Please don’t stop.

RELATED: I’m Lonely and Sometimes Wish I Had a Larger Family

Dear Barbara, mummy is also okay. I can’t help but think she wishes you were here. I want her to talk about you, but I don’t know if the pain is still there, so I’ll just manage the little I know of you. Like your name and how much mum loved you. I promise I’ll take care of her and our younger sister.

Everyone else is doing okay, and I can’t wait for life to keep bringing everything it has for us.

Dear Barbara, I’ll name your niece after you. Keep shining in heaven. I love you and one day, I’ll see you. Until then, I’ll see you in the stars and the butterflies, my sister.

All my heart,

Ada

Letters #ToHER will be ending in September. We have one more slot to share a letter, so click here if you’d like to write one too.

If You Liked reading this, then you should read this next: I Wish I Had an Elder Sister
Since I started writing Letters #ToHER, I’ve come across the sweetest words shared between friends. But I’ve also seen best friends that barely care to hug each other. So, I’ve come to the conclusion that the most successful friendships always fit into one of these 10 duos.

The babe that has at least five foundations lined up in her drawer:

And the friend that can’t do makeup to save her life :

Is a friendship really complete if one friend doesn’t always need help getting ready for events? I can’t imagine such.

The friend that goes on the wildest dates and brings all the tea:

And the friend that’s planning to marry her secondary school crush:

Don’t you just love a duo with one friend who shows wickedness on the streets and another who tensions everyone on social media with “God when” vibes?

RELATED: 7 Reasons Why You Will Continue Saying “God When”

The ballsy friend that doesn’t take crap from anybody:

The ajebo friend that needs ginger to try new things:

Blood Sisters is one movie that sums up what this type of friendship looks like. You have the babe that’s willing to kill for her friend and the babe that’ll ride or die with her crazy friend.

The planner:

The carefree friend that trusts the universe to decide what happens in life:

Someone has to take charge of the future while the other person schedules periods to calm down.

The besties who have their periods in sync and have an attitude together:

Every real friendship has to be sealed by tears, blood and period cramps.

RELATED: 7 Things About Periods That Are More Annoying Than Bleeding

The anxious friend that doesn’t realise how smart she is:

The friend that’s always on standby to hype her bestie:

Every girl needs a babe friend that’ll hype her up unprovoked and knows exactly how to get her energy up.

The bestie who’s a social media influencer:

And the bestie that has to give feedback before every video and picture goes up and still hypes a post like she’s never seen it in her life:

Behind every creative is a bestie who doubles as a manager and hype woman.

The bestie who’s married, a hot mum and premium pie:

And the bestie who’s single and prefers to play the rich aunty role forever:

Imagine the joy of getting to play mummy and returning the kids back to their real mummy when you’re over them. That’s the joy of every rich aunty out there.

The gym babe that’s all about the squats:

And the bestie that has the superpower to eat five times a day without adding weight:

How can we all benefit from the superpower of eating without spending the whole day sucking in our tummies? These are global issues we need to address.

The pasta babe that only wants to eat out:

And the bestie who doubles as an accountant:

It’s either your bestie goes broke and spends months on your couch, or you put on your accountant hat and play devil’s advocate anytime she wants to squander money in the name of enjoyment.

The ride-or-die besties that only say “I love you” once in a blue moon

ALSO READ: Manage This Hug for the Next Three Years
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Arike, the woman who sees herself as an extension of her mum

To: Iya Arike, a woman who’s deeply missed

Iya Arike,

I’ve thought about everything I wanted to write in this letter every day that led up to this moment. But here I am at past 1 in the morning and nothing seems perfect or right. I guess that’s because none of this is right. I shouldn’t be writing this letter talking about the crushing pain in my chest from missing you so much. I think “I miss you so much it hurts,” is such a hauntingly beautiful line whenever I come across it in novels. But now I’m experiencing it, all I see and feel is the unending pain in my chest from losing you.

It’s been over a year now, but it feels like just yesterday, you took your last breath in my arms. It feels like just yesterday, I was scrambling to remember everything I learnt about CPR from medical school so I could bring you back from what should’ve been a nap. It’ll always feel like just yesterday, I felt my heart plummet to my feet when I realised you were gone.

But a million and one things have happened since you’ve been gone. The earth had the audacity to keep spinning as my entire world was crumbling without you. I’m stuck with so many questions I don’t have answers to, mummy.

RELATED: I Still Haven’t Found a Better Gist Partner, Mum

I have no idea who I am anymore. Sometimes, I look in the mirror and don’t recognise myself. The person staring back at me cannot be your Arikenke. But then, how can I be Arike without you Iya Arike? How can I live with just the memories of you? Memories of the past? I’m so lost without you.

You spoke way too much about the future to not be in it with me, mummy. You had the outfit you’d wear for my induction planned. You spoke so fondly about my wedding, how you’d come to do omugwo and how my siblings and our future families would all come back home for the Christmas holidays. “You can spend new year’s with your inlaws”, you’d say.

As it stands, you’ve missed three graduations so far, and it hurts that you’ll miss mine too. Damn, you’ll miss everything you spoke about mummy. The beautiful visions of the future you always painted with your words will always exist in my mind, but reality will never measure up.

It’s funny how when I was younger, I’d always disagree with people when they say I look like you. The daddy’s girl in me just wouldn’t allow it. But here I am now, basking in those comments I now consider compliments. Because if I turn out to be like you, that’d be the best thing I can aspire to be.

RELATED: If Your Mother Is Your Best Friend, You Can Relate

Is it weird that I think you’re my soulmate, mummy? Because it should be impossible to love and miss you as much as I do if you aren’t an extension of me. I guess this is why I feel like people who met me after you passed will never truly know me. They’d never truly know the Arike who was loved so dearly and intentionally by her mother. You were all the best parts of me.

My heart will love you forever, Iya Arike. My thoughts will always stray to memories of you, and my soul will yearn for yours as long as there is breath in my lungs.

Watch over your baby, mummy. I’m just trying my best and in way more pain than I let on.

All of my love,

Your Arikenke.

Letters #ToHER will be ending in September. We have two more slots to share a letter, so click here if you’d like to write one too.

ALSO READ: 8 Hard-to-Miss Signs Your Mum is Really Happy You’re Her Daughter
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Timah, a woman who wants to be as kind and present as her best friend

To: Wunmi, the best friend going through a rough patch

Dear Wunmi,

I’m sincerely sorry I haven’t been a good friend in the last year. I’ve been selfish and way too absorbed by my woes to notice how difficult life has become since your relationship ended. Too absorbed to notice your fake smile at my weird jokes, or how you ignored my rude remarks about the break-up even though they hurt. I’m sorry I wasn’t as sensitive as you needed me to be.

I always ascribed your incessant kindness to curiosity, but an epiphany has made me realise it stems from pure undiluted love.

I have no idea how someone so selfless and kind would care about a narcissist like me. But I want you to know, although I can’t promise to change overnight, I’ll always make a conscious effort to overwhelm you with delicious acts of service.

I want to go on dates with you — a soiree of some sort — as besties. I know taking pictures isn’t your forte, but imagine how we would freeze time with our awkward smiles and lopsided poses for shy girls.

RELATED: The Introvert Guide to Making Friends

I want us to binge on your favourite snacks, stuffing our faces with every last crumb. Watching as you try something new and complain bitterly about false advertising and overpriced unnecessaries, or sandwich a compliment between mouthful sighs to water down the aspersions.

I want us to have sleepovers, comparing notes about past lovers, but eventually taking their sides and remembering only the good because we’re soft-hearted hard guys. I love our laughable combination of twisting and writhing we call dancing to loud evergreen songs. And doing it all while we’d sing wrong lyrics aloud without a care in the world.

Wunmi, I want to dance with you, then slowly slip away and watch you dance alone, smiling ear-to-ear with a tear in my eye upon the realisation that I’ve struck gold by being friends with you.

RELATED: Here’s What Your Love Language Has to Say About You

Complete happiness might not be realistic in this cracked-up world, so I pray for you to have complete contentment and a loving spouse who adores you. Anything less would be unacceptable.

I love you so much, and I hope life smiles broadly at you in every aspect you need and more. Let’s always be in each other’s lives.

Ifẹ ti Emi ko yẹ ni ohun ti o fun mi. O ti fẹràn mi lainidi.

Thanks for loving me, my friend.

Your nonchalant sunshine,

Timah

We have three more slots for Letters #ToHER before it officially comes to an end. If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

ALSO READ: 8 Things to Know Before Making Friends as an Adult
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Camela “Meme” Etoruom, whose bestie is her grandma

To: Ms Angelina “Mma Ange” Ndukwe, who brings bright colours to her granddaughter’s world

Dear Mma Ange,

On my 18th birthday, I remember writing about the colours in my life and I opened with this: “My grandmother is the shade of orange you see in the sky before the sun sets. The one you take pictures of because you’re scared you’ll never see such beauty again, the one you think about in the dark and ask your friends, “Omg, did you see the sky?”

Mma, everything good in my life stems from the fact that you splattered colour in my life when it felt like a dark tunnel and refused to come to an end. I love you because you saw me when I couldn’t see myself, walked with me in love and understanding in my prime moments of teenage angst, and showed apathy towards everything. The most amazing part was seeing how our love evolved to fit every stage. A thing only a few people will truly experience.

RELATED: 12 Extremely Specific Things Every Nigerian Grandma Owns

If I count my blessings, the fact I get to call you “Mma” is at the top of my list. Mma, you have always been more than a sweet grandmother to me. Your laughter is a sound that rivals Kanye’s melodic prowess and your sarcasm makes me laugh carelessly when laughing seems like a myth to me.

Thank you for letting me run around your house to read everything I could get my hands on as a kid — the reason why people think I know random facts unprovoked. Your taste in movies might be questionable, but I got to watch Kate and William’s wedding with you and I felt lucky because I got to gush about the royals with my grandma!

RELATED: My Grandmother Died and Took Her Special Corn Recipe With Her

My favourite moments are in your parlour reading books or having conversations where you don’t fail to remind me it’s okay to be expressive.

You’re my best friend, Mma; the reason I tell people that friendship is the greatest asset in living this life. You’re the funniest woman in the world, and I’m holding on to reincarnation because I hope I get to spend another life with you as my favourite miracle.

I hope we get to the “Meme spoiling Mma baby” part of our lives soon. You deserve everything good, perfect and la Vida Loca as the baby girl that you are!

To many more good-time conversations and memories, bestie.

Camela.

If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

ALSO READ: These Are the Coolest Nigerian Grandmas You’ve Ever Seen
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Busayo, a hard babe

To: Ifeoma, the gentle, kind and sweet soul

Dear Ifeoma,

I know being sweet and romantic is really off-brand for us. But you’re the only person that deserves this side of me if I’m being honest.

I hit the best friend jackpot with you and I mean that with all my heart. Earlier today, you said you love how we always have the same views on everything, and that is ridiculously true. I can count on one finger the things we don’t have the same opinions about. But Ifeoma, it doesn’t change the fact that I still have more sense than you.

You’re my biggest supporter, my sister, my best friend and my confidant. I know when I’m feeling sad, I can call you and I’ll come out of that call feeling 100% better. I know it’s the same for you.

RELATED: Four Months of Living Together and Hopefully We Don’t Kill Each Other

Anytime people are talking about failed female friendships, I know deep in my heart and my soul that it’ll never ever be us. Our friendship is too special.

This past month has been different for me because I started something new, and you’re the only person I talked to about my worries. You made it better, way better. You listened to me, understood and encouraged me. You’re my gift from God. I love you, I really really do.

Ifeoma, I can’t remember the last time we showed affection, so you know that me telling you I love you now is the one you’ll hold and manage for the next three years. I hope this makes your day as you’ve been making mine for the past four years we’ve been best friends. And please, don’t forget you can never ever be as sweet as I am, okay? Just leave that part of our relationship for me.

Love you Ifeoma.

With Love,

Busayo

If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

RELATED: Maybe You Should Cut Your Bad Friends Some Slack? Here’s Why
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Onyinye, a woman who expects her best friend’s child to be named after her

To: Toyosi, the best friend who makes their friendship as refreshing as cold garri

Dear Toyosi,

You weird beautiful girl. First, I want to say you’re as amazing as you’re beautiful. I thank God every day for what we have, this friendship. It’s sweeter than honey and as refreshing as cold garri on a hot day. Maybe that’s why I’m writing — because I want you to see a written form of my love for you.

Do you even remember our story? Because I don’t, honestly. It’s like we’ve known each other forever. How we started talking because of a gossip you were caught up in, there’s the part of having a lot in common — missing fathers, first daughters who carry a lot of burden on their shoulders, a love for God and food — little wonder we connected so well.

Most times, I remember how you make me feel more than what you say. Like when we get bored, and I keep my head on the table while you run your hands through my hair until I sleep off. That’s one thing I love about you, you’re intentional about our friendship and how you love me. Running your hands through my hair made me feel like I was home. I felt so at peace. Honestly, I think that was how I started trusting you without a second thought.

Thanks babes for always trying to get me to go out and try new things, not only when it comes to life, but also when it comes to our love for God. Let’s not forget that if you didn’t drag me out, I wouldn’t have all my fine fine Instagram pictures.

RELATED: Four Months of Living Together and Hopefully We Don’t Kill Each Other

Toyosi, you’re a very weird child. Who on earth invites someone to their house for the first time and gives them cold garri and milk? Who decides to teach a girl how to put on make-up just because they’re friends? Who takes in a friend they’ve known for a short time just because life is happening to that friend? You. You’re weird, sweet, and I love it.

I often ask you why we’re friends. You absolutely don’t benefit from this relationship like I do. Yet, you tell me every time that you love me. You always show up when I’m in my ghost mode. Nagode.

I know I always tell you you’re sweet, nice and gorgeous, but you should know you’re also strong and amazing.

Babes, our dreams, they’ll come true someday. We’ll travel around the world, and I’ll watch you take all those stupid rollercoaster rides while I take pictures because no be me you go kill.

But till then, as we hustle remember, I love you best, girl. I love you when you’re at your lowest and when you’re at your strongest.

As a closing remark, kindly make money abeg. I’m tired of working. And please, do and find a man, so you can name your child Onyinye too. And I’ll name mine Toyosi.

With lots of love,

From your weird bestie

If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

ALSO READ: We Were Best Friends In Secondary School, Now We Are Married
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Abolade, a woman wants her soulmate to know how much she’s loved

To: Ariyike, the ying to Abolade’s yang

Dear Ariyike,

I love you. Listen, I love you so much. I don’t think you understand that I love you so fucking much. You’re a priority. You’re my friend, You’re my sister, you’re my family, you are my soulmate, you’re my person and you’re my bestie for life. You’re the yang to my yang. LMAO. The point is, me and you, you and me, will be together forever!

I love you for being you: my shy, weird, hilarious and beautiful baby. I love you for loving me. I love you when you’re hilarious. I love you when you act like a goat. I love how much you care for me, always on my ass to study for tests and exams. Always trying to make me feel better when I’m in my depressive state.

Tanwa, ìwọ ni ọ̀rẹ́ tí mo ní tí mi ò mò pé mò ń wá . Thank you for making it easy to confide in you. Thank you for being a safe place. Thank you for loving me, consistently validating my existence, gassing me up, and constantly reminding me of what I’m capable of. Thank you for existing.

RELATED: What Life Is Like When Your Best Friend Is Your Soulmate

Ọ̀rẹ́ mi, o dùn. You’re the honey to my tea, If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy. You’re the electrician that lights up my day and night. You’re the best track on my album. You’re the most beautiful picture in my photos. The salesman to my copy. LOL, I know I am saying rubbish. The point is, you complete me. There is no me without you. You make me happy, you make me want to live, you make me want to create more memories with you and you make me want to relive the ones we’ve created.

I love you so much, and listen, we will make it. So you see those ways you want to flex? Ma worry, soonest. Ọ̀rẹ́ mi, a máa jayé foreign. Ọlọ́hun gbọ́. Mo love e dákú.

May our friendship last for as long as we exist,

Abolade.

If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

ALSO READ: “The Yin to My Yang” — 5 Nigerians on Having Platonic Soulmates
We bring to you letters written by women to women they love, miss, cherish or just remember. To celebrate the support women continue to show each other, this is #ToHER.

From: Odunayo, who misses her crazy cousin

To: Oyinlola, the fun, waka waka cousin

Dear Oyinlola,

A letter I read reminded me of how much I’ve missed us since you travelled.

I don’t know what exactly made us so close, but I guess it was my frequent visits to your house during the holidays when I was four years old. I always looked forward to visiting you because you had a larger family than mine. Then you started coming to my house with your siblings and we found that we had so many things in common — fashion sense, straight-talking attitude and all.

We became inseparable. Even when you gained admission into the university in 2013, I was always waiting for you to come home so we could hang out. There was no one I’d rather gossip with about family, talk about relationships and the kind of woman I wanted to grow into.

And when I got into university in 2018, I made sure you were the first person I came home to see, except you were away. I miss those random visits to see other family members, the late nights and waka waka, like on my birthday. We left Ikorodu for Lekki at night, got there very late, ate pizza, and walked around like our dad owned the land despite the insecurity in this country. But I wasn’t bothered. When we were together, we felt so safe and unbothered.

RELATED: What Happens When You and Your Favourite Cousin Fight?

I definitely miss our craziness. Remember when I was 18 and we visited our other cousin’s place and begged him to get us alcohol? You were 21 and old enough to drink, but we’d always fantasised about getting drunk together. And as expected, after drinking, we acted like goofballs, slept off and woke up at intervals whenever one of our phones rang because we had the same ringtone.

Then there was that guy spilling rubbish because we refused to talk to him on the road. Of course, we insulted him. What about the days we spent at Ilorin during your service year? I’d just gotten into uni and you were always proud to introduce me to everyone as your baby sister.

RELATED: Sunken Ships: My Cousin Grew Up

I miss you so much, Oyin. There’s nobody to call me saying, “Odunayo, where are you? Come na, let’s have a nice time.” Nobody to drag me out of the house and tell me that I’m too serious with life. I can’t even go to the island for the Sallah holiday because you’re not there. Who will I talk to or record funny Snapchat videos with?

I’m just glad we could utilise every moment we’ve spent together since we were kids. Now that you’re in a completely different country, I can hold onto those crazy memories. There was no dull moment with you. And you’re one of the best people I’ve had in my life.

Also, thanks for the urgent ₦2k you used to send whenever sapa choked me in school.

Missing you,

Odunayo

If you’d like to write a letter #ToHER, click here to tell us why

ALSO READ: 12 Things to Expect When Your Cousin From Abroad Visits