All your friends are in love, and you are part of the ‘‘God when’’ association wondering when you will get your own boo. We are sorry to break it to you that you may never find love due to the reasons stated below.

1. You are best in English

Anyone who mistakenly sends you a message with ‘’am’’ doesn’t get a response from you, even if the follow-up message is sweet. Since you are so good at the English language, why not become an English teacher and stop stressing God. You may find your boo in the school where you’ll work as an English teacher. 

2. You are always fighting on social media.

We know you are passionate about what you believe in, but the way you go about it is a little scary, or what do you think? Any small thing you’ve become Hulk Hogan on the TL. Please be calming down abeg, your toasters are afraid that you’ll beat them up if they move to you.

3. Your eating habits are very bad.

You are either a bricklayer or a thief ah. You eat fufu in the middle of the night, it’s fine tho, you may need that energy to fight your village people that appear to you in your dreams. The ones hindering you from finding love.

4. You say ‘am’’ instead of ‘I’m’’

Please for God’s sake, we have tried to correct you. Help us to help you, what is ‘’am fine’’?. When they air your messages now you will say it is elitism when na you wey no sabi English.

5. You are a couch potato

That couch you like to sleep on from morning to night is where you are going to find your boo. We love that they are going to come to your house to find you. Since all you do is press your phone, we believe you aren’t yet ready to download your partner from that phone. You aren’t like the others on the list, keep taking your sweet time.

6.You are still stuck on your ex.

You are so funny, you keep shouting ‘’God when’’ when all you do is fantasize about your ex from morning till night. Instead of filling your thoughts and imaginations with images of your dream boo, you are wasting it thinking of one yeye ex. Better jazz up.

7. You have not tried to buy love on 

Is there really anything you can’t buy on Jiji?. You are probably still waiting for conventional ways of finding love when you can easily do it at the click of a button. All we know is that you aren’t ready. When you are ready, you’ll go and buy it on Jiji.

If you stop doing all these things and you still don’t find love, then we don’t know for you again. maybe you should go to babalawo’s place.



Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.