“The Yin to My Yang” — 5 Nigerians on Having Platonic Soulmates

March 31, 2022

Soulmates don’t always have to be romantic partners; these five Nigerians have platonic soulmates: people who’ve been there for them in good times and in bad. 

“He’s invested in my safety and constantly fights for me” 

— Frank, 23 

My platonic soulmate and I have known each other since we were kids, but we started talking when I was sixteen. One day, about a year into our friendship, we were at a church camp meeting and we stayed up talking throughout the night. We talked about a lot of things: family, existence, love, our friendship. After that night, there was a shift we both recognised —  we were always going to be in each other’s lives. It’s as if we’d unlocked a new friendship level that night. Since then, it’s been the most beautiful friendship of my life. As a queer person, I was a bit scared to come out to him, but when I did, it changed nothing. If anything, he became more invested in my safety and has constantly fought for me.

There were some bumps in the road in our friendship. For example, we both go to different schools. At first, our communication suffered because I didn’t know how to communicate my feelings properly, but I’m getting better now. I honestly can’t map out exactly how we worked it out, but it involved a lot of honest conversations and setting ground rules. Now, we text everyday and call each other every week when we’re in our different schools. 

Also, towards the end of 2021, we had an argument when I complained that he wasn’t opening up to me, but after some self-reflection, I realised I was being selfish. He needed someone to be there for him, not someone to prod him about things he’s still working through. He’s told me that my existence in his life makes him constantly happy, and I’m grateful to have him. 

“I’ve outgrown so many people and so many dynamics, but not her.”

— Cynthia, 20

My platonic soulmate is my best friend, and this year makes it our 10th year of friendship. We met in secondary school, but we also managed to have a relationship outside of school because we also went to the same church. She was everywhere around me, so our friendship was bound to happen. 

Even though we had a friend group, we’ve realised that our friendship had a different dynamic than the rest of the group. We’ve been with each other through a lot. For example, five years ago, I had a car accident. After I called my mum for help, I immediately called her and cried into the phone. It just made sense to call her because she’s like my sister. 

When she got admission into her dream university, she told me about it before she even told her parents. 

I’ve outgrown so many people and so many dynamics, but not her. We’ve seen each other through so many transitional periods. Even when she started dating a mutual friend and we had issues because she tried to keep it from me, but it didn’t last up to twelve hours. The littles we do for each other and how deliberate we are about our friendship, convinces me that she’s my soulmate.

RELATED: 8 Friendship Milestones BFFs Can Relate With 

“They’re the yin to my yang”

— Morenike, 21

We were in the same year and same class in uni but we didn’t properly speak till our second year. I had tweeted some depressing thoughts and they asked if they could come see me since we were in the same hostel. Since then, we’ve been extremely close. 

I really feel like myself with them. Externally, we’re really different physically, but I feel like we get each other. They’re the yin to my yang because through our similarities, we’re still the same person. They even got us matching earrings where I’m the sun and they’re the moon. 

We don’t even have to speak every day, but it just works. I can always tell them how I feel, no matter how terrible or confusing that thing is. I’ve never been one to be comfortable expressing feelings for my friends, but one time we were at this party and I was super anxious so I called them. While we were talking, we called each other soulmates and that’s the perfect description. 

Sure, there are disagreements because at the end of the day we’re different people who handle things differently, but our friendship helps me to look inwards and just see things differently. 

“We FaceTime each other just to stay on the phone and breathe”

— Anita, 25

I consider the person my soulmate because we have had moments where our conversations fizzle out, but we always find our way back. The only thing disrupting us is distance, but even then we find a way to make it work. We FaceTime each other just to stay on the phone and breathe, and sometimes I watch him read for his exams. 

We talk about everything even when  we both had romantic partners, and it’s still the same now that we’re single. It feels good having someone who’s always there for me even when I’m unstable. We’ve fought a couple of times, but we also calm down and address our issues so we don’t say things we don’t mean. 

RELATED: 7 Nigerian Women on Platonic Relationships With Men

“I think I’m in love with her”

— Adaeze, 21

I met her on Twitter and although we’ve not known each other for long, she’s easily the other half of my soul. She gets me in a way even the people I date don’t. 

She loves me the way I’ve always wanted to be loved, and I love her right back. We try to talk as often as possible and have girl dates where we just talk, eat, and remain beautiful. 

I could be having the worst day possible, and her voice is all I need to feel better. I’m always there for her, even when I’m not ready to be there for myself. Showing up for her is the easiest thing I’ve had to do, and I’ll keep doing it for as long as possible. I think I’m in love with her — not in the way lovers fall in love, but in the way two people whose souls are intertwined do. That’s the only way to describe exactly how I feel about her. We’re the same person in different fonts, and I’ll be forever grateful for the day she reached out to me.

RELATED: 8 Nigerian Women Share the Best Thing a Friend Has Done For Them

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

More from Ships

July 6, 2022

So you’ve just served your lover breakfast. But to make them feel better, you try to stay in contact with them. Don’t! If you don’t know how to handle things after serving a person breakfast, I’ll show you how. . First, you need to feel bad You just showed another person’s child pepper. You should […]

July 6, 2022

Though polyamory is getting more visibility in recent times, people still ask questions like, “Isn’t that just cheating?” Here, we dismantle six myths about polyamory you’ve probably heard before.

July 4, 2022

Is love enough or is it all about money? How do you receive either when you had a broken childhood? These are the questions *Kate answers in her story about unlearning the idea that love is equivalent to enduring financial struggles with her partner.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X