12 Extremely Specific Things Every Nigerian Grandma Owns

April 27, 2020

I miss my Grandma. I haven’t seen her all year because of the stress of adulting and now, miss Rona. We talk over the phone but nothing can replace the warm hugs and fuss in person. Her asking if I have eaten and me shrugging it off – both of us silent partners in this ancient dance.

I have been thinking about her house and all the things therein that qualifies it as “Grandma’s house”. I believe every Grandma’s house is the same.

Here is a list of those things:

1) Baby photos.

Everyone’s photo from your parents to yours to your long distant cousins is in Grandma’s house.

2) Medicine bag.

My first memory is of good old Grandma giving me some medicine from her medicine bag after rough play with my cousins.

3) These big ass cooking pots.

With her full government name inscribed on them.

4) Ancient of days TV.

If you search well, you will find VHS tapes in the house. If you know, you know.

5) Cutlery that must never be touched.

Plate, spoon, or cup that has been passed down from generation to generation.

6) Radio.

Grandma’s Favourite companion.

7) Nylon-ception.

A nylon within a nylon within another nylon.

8) Old ass calendars.

The year was 1948…

9) Weird looking chairs.

It is made from either straw or something similar. It is usually also her favourite chair.

10) Big ass Bible or Quran with money underneath.

“Under my big bible, you’ll see money there, bring it for me.”

11) Magnet on fridge.

They also double as bottle openers.

12) Sunday hat/cap.

See swag.

Did I miss anything? Let me know in the comments section.

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