We’ve talked about the ways to show up as a good friend despite the unending grind of adulthood. But what happens when you have a terrible week and living up to the expectations is impossible? Are you automatically labelled the bad friend? Maybe you need to cut your friends some slack for these seven reasons.
Sometimes, work really chokes
If they can forget to feed themselves all day, they will definitely forget to call you back. Actually, they may not return your calls even after two weeks. It has nothing to do with you or the fact that you’re not important. It’s just the life they’ve chosen that’s sucking them dry. Send them food, and see if they won’t spend the rest of their lives stalking you.
Their current lives may be hard to explain
Trust me, no one loves the isolated life. They miss and love you too, but sometimes, it’s hard to articulate how difficult life is. Nobody wants to be a burden, so it’s easier to run away than to talk.
Maybe they’re broke
Everyone is tired of being called up for urgent ₦2k. Sometimes, a bad friend is really a broke friend who’s too ashamed to show face. Of course, they want to show up for your birthday brunch and party hard at the club, but it’s tiring to be the broke friend all the time. Being the bad friend that declines every invitation is much easier.
They just don’t want to talk
If your friend is a creative, a marketer or in any role that involves talking to people all day, they don’t even want to hear their own voice at the end of the day. So when you call, they’re too exhausted to listen. Sometimes, texting is all they can handle. That’s the bondage capitalism has plagued them with. Cut them some slack because it’s draining.
You trigger their anxiety
I’m that friend who watches her phone ring out to stay sane. If you consistently show up at my house or call to complain about my behaviour without asking why it’s easier to avoid you, I will ghost you. It’s triggering to hear everything you’ve done wrong when you’re really just trying to survive adulthood.
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They want to achieve eight hours of sleep
Half of the time people attack me for being a bad friend, I’m honestly just trying to sleep. These two-second weekends are barely enough to rest. There’s no time left over to hang out or gist. I don’t want to know my phone exists at that time. I’m asleep, so I’ll definitely miss one or two calls from you. It may be more, but who’s counting?
They just need time away
Whether it’s a baecation or time alone, adulthood calls for self-isolation to stay sane sometimes. The best thing is to give your “bad” friend time to explain where they’ve been or why you haven’t heard from them. veryone needs to disconnect from the stress of life sometimes.
Zikoko is launching a new series where we explore those friendships, familial and romantic relationships that are no longer sailing.