Zodiac signs are great at helping us understand people, but what if I told you a person’s Spotify Wrapped tells you a lot more about their personality than any Leo moon rising sun in Lucozade?
Don’t believe me? Continue reading, and let me know if I’m reaching.
2022 was your year. You killed it at work and still managed to remain the life of every party you attended. Your vibe is unmatched, and you always know how to have a good time, so people naturally gravitate towards you. While you know many people, you don’t have a lot of actual friends because you’re mysterious like that. There’s also a high chance you asked for a raise this year, and your new salary has everyone at work shook.
You’re a rollercoaster of emotions. One minute you’re tearing up the dancefloor, and the next, you’re in the corner of a club, crying or overthinking everything. The best part is you’re not ashamed of being vulnerable. Your mental health and space are very important to you, so you’re cautious of the people you let into your life, even though everyone likes you.
You’re either peak Gen Z or a millennial who uses slangs like “Purr” and “It’s giving” unprovoked. People underestimate you a lot and complain about your style or taste, but you don’t care because you’re out here living your best life. 2022 was a great year for you, but you’re always gingered for what’s next, so you’ve already started drafting your 2023 goals. No time to waste.
Everyone is always hyping you, and honestly, you deserve it. Can you do with a bit of self-control in your life? Yes. Choosing violence is your favourite thing to do, even when it’s completely unnecessary. You’re great at what you do, but your chaotic nature makes you unpredictable. Hopefully, you’ll learn to calm down in 2023.
You’re a bad bitch and you know it. Everything comes effortlessly to you, and 2022 was your best year career-wise. People are constantly guessing what you’re up to, but you love to move in silence, so all they see is results and not the hard work you put in. You’re humble and love to meditate and shit, but your motto is: “Fuck around and find out,” so you’re not above dragging someone’s child for filth.
From music to fashion, old-school trends are the hill you’ve chosen to die on. You like to tell people you were born in the wrong generation, even though there’s nothing anyone can do about it. Speaking your native language is your personality trait, but the gag is your cousins from the village don’t rate you because they believe you’re not speaking it correctly.
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Dear, one question: How many weddings did you attend in 2022? You can’t remember? No problem. The money you’ve spent on Aso Ebis this year is enough to buy a Kia Picanto. But if you don’t go to weddings, how will you find your missing rib? Please, continue listening to Roju and have a good time at the next wedding reception you attend. We love to see it.
Show Dem Camp
You’re 30+ and you don’t like stress. A good Friday night for you involves a good bottle of wine or keg of palm wine, a nice Netflix documentary and food. You and clubs don’t go well. Even when you try to go out, you end up leaving by 10 p.m. because, once again, 30+. The youth corpers and interns in your office want to be like you when they grow up.
Dwin, the Stoic
You’ve been served breakfast multiple times in 2022, but like eba, still you rise. You’re a hardcore romantic who believes in having one soulmate, so you’re constantly on dating apps and Twitter trying to find them. There’s a strong chance you always complain that Igbo babes are wicked. Still, every time you hear the name Ada or Ifunaya, you’re the first person on the queue to submit relationship application letter.
You’re the best at what you do, and you know it. You don’t like stress, and you’re the type of person who’ll cut people off when you feel like they’re doing too much. All you want to do is enjoy, date older people and wear outfits that match your shoe. Good for you, boo.
We get it. You’re different and quirky. Let us rest, abeg.
You like 40+ music but are not ready to admit it to yourself. All the uncles and aunties in your family are obsessed with you because your presence gives them endorphins. You sometimes say offensive things and then act shocked when people call you out on your bullshit.
Babes, are you okay? Do you need tissue or space?
Remember, it’s okay to cry and connect with your emotions. It’s only human, and your vulnerability is what makes you fly.