What Your Fave Nollywood Actress Says About You

May 17, 2022

Gen Zs always talk about how their behaviour can be traced back to mercury being in Lucozade and their Leo sun rising in Zamfara. And while I can’t confirm that astrology stuff works for real, I can show you another way to gauge your and other people’s personalities — Nollywood actresses. It works for me, and I’m sure it’ll work for you, too. Try it and see. 

1. Genevieve Nnaji 

You’re not anybody’s mate, and you know it. You were a happening babe back in the day, and you’re still a happening babe. The only difference is that you’ve now rebranded into a she-e-o. You run things; things don’t run you. You smell and look like wealth. Everybody sits up when you enter a room. 

2. Mercy Johnson

Your defining trait is that you’re unpredictable. Today you’re a  paediatric doctor and tomorrow you’ve left that life behind to become a DJ at a beer parlour near the zoo in Ibadan. The interesting thing is that you’re somehow amazing at anything you do. You believe this life is one, and you’re ready to enjoy it to the fullest. Get it!

3. Tonto Dikeh 

Your nickname is Area Scatter. People know not to get on your bad side because they know that if they do, you’ll beat them and their mothers. You’re constantly dragging your ex-bestie on social media and must have the last say, even if the fight lasts three weeks. People don’t know that behind all your gragra, you’re a sweet and cuddly person. This might seem random as hell but if you ever get the urge to try your hand at music, DON’T.

4. Rita Dominic

People never take your poverty seriously because you always look fresh. You could be dying but still exude an aura that says “I’m better than these peasants.” Even though you’re still young, people still view you as a rich aunty or uncle. Your fashion was misunderstood back in the day, but all your Gen Z nieces and nephews are now looking at you like a fashion-forward icon. 

5. Funke Akindele 

You’re smart and intuitive but people underestimate you a lot because you like shining your teeth up and down. People didn’t rate you before but do now after you did one kick-ass presentation in your office. Now every time there’s a presentation, they drag you into it.  You’re not upset, though. You’re milking it for your own gain so you can be promoted and leave poverty behind. 

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6. Sola Sobowale 

You’re the oldest in your friend group and probably your family too. You’re very nurturing and passionate about protecting the people in your life. Despite this, people are sometimes confused as to whether to fear or respect you, especially after that time you slapped an Uber driver and deflated his tire with your teeth. You’re a parental figure o, but there’s still some craziness deep down. 

7. Nse Ikpe Etim 

Overraw best in English Language and composure. You probably watch Bridgerton to practice your accent and walk. People are always shocked by how fun and carefree you are because of how you compose yourself. While you’re free with people, you don’t joke about your private life. You could be in a relationship  for a whole year, and none of your friends would know. 

8. Eucharia Anunobi 

Your stories start with, “When I was in the world”, followed by the wildest shit anyone has ever heard and then end with “But now, I’ve given my life to Christ.” Your crazy days were iconic, but all you do now is judge people because you’ve changed, which is annoying AF. Even though you’ve repented from being a wild child, you’ve refused to let go of some worldly things, like makeup. Why are your eyebrows still like that, sis? 

9. Toyin Abraham 

You’re chill, funny, and everyone likes you. If anyone says they have beef with you, it’s definitely one-sided and you hope they find peace one day. You’re silently making cool cash, but no one notices because they still see you where people are selling okrika. You don’t care, sha. Okrika has badass fashuns, and the girls that get it, get it.

10. Kate Henshaw 

You’re a ride or die friend. You value morals, staying fit, and good energy. People respect you because your head is very correct. Before someone says “pim”, you’ve already dragged and/or blocked them. You’re also not afraid to drag your friends when they’re being messy. To you, it’s necessary for their character development. And if you don’t drag them who will?

ALSO READ: Ranked: Nobody Beats These 10 Nollywood Actresses at Crying in Movies

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