Dear Nigerian musicians, please and please, you’re not the only one inflation is using to play ludo. What are these Detty December concert prices?
After all the stress of 2022, we agree you deserve not just Z! Fest in November but all the concerts in December too, just for premium enjoyment. But how do you attend your fave’s shows despite your struggling funds? Let’s break it down.
Date a bouncer
This is a classic case of sleeping with the enemy. Bouncers are the main reason you can’t get into a Nigerian concert without a ticket. So imagine how easy your life would be if you started dating one or two. They won’t be able to chase you with their muscles. Just make sure you date the ones guarding the doors to lit concerts, not dead ones abeg.
Become a backup dancer
Almost every musician needs a backup dancer, and not everyone can afford Kaffy. A surefire way to attend Nigerian concerts is by learning how to legwork and break dance at the same time. If you don’t know how to do this yet, come to Z! Fest on the 26th of November  to learn from Liquorose.
Sell your father’s house in the village
When it comes to choosing between family inheritance and Asake concert tickets, I expect you to make a wise choice and organise that money ASAP. After all, your father would’ve done the same thing for Fela or Bongos Ikwue back in the day.
Become a musician
You still have till the end of November to record and release a song that’ll make you blow. Once you become famous, bigger artists invite you to open their show, and you can join the crowd after your performance. Trust me, singing is not that hard. We have like five singers here at Zikoko.
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Follow people who can afford tickets on social media
Who says you can’t attend a concert virtually from the comfort of your own room? Sure, you might miss most of the show and drain your data, but at least it’s free, and you don’t have to stand and wait till 3 am for a 7 pm show to start.
Befriend an IJGB
The only reason you’re complaining about the price of Detty December concert tickets is because you still earn in naira. If you convert these ticket prices to pounds or dollars, it’s not even up to the money IJGBs spend on McDonald’s abroad. Just make sure you avoid the ones who want to ruin your life sha, because those ones are plenty.
Learn how to vomit foreign currencies
I know it sounds impossible, but thankfully, Zikoko has already dropped tips on how to vomit pounds. Look at us teaching the leaders of tomorrow how to create their own foreign reserves. I stan.
Stream your fave’s music and imagine it’s live
Please, print out your fave’s picture, open your Spotify app, place that printed picture on your chest, then close your eyes and imagine they’re performing right in front of you. Like Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston sang, “You will when you believe”.