An Exclusive Guide to Nailing The Perfect Nigerian Marriage Proposal

July 19, 2020

There’s a normal reasonable way to do things and then there’s the Nigerian way that comes with extra spice and salt. This guide is the Nigerian way to do a proper marriage proposal. Sit back, learn, and spread this knowledge.

1. It should never be private.

zikoko - Perfect Nigerian Proposal

First of all, whatever you do, do not make it private. Why? Because this marriage proposal is between you, your fiancée, and as many Nigerians as possible. Besides if a crowd didn’t witness it then how are you even sure it happened? Where is your proof?

2. Think of the most ridiculous thing to do and then do it.

zikoko - Perfect Nigerian Proposal

 No idea is too silly, stupid or unnecessary. The sillier the better actually.

3. Recruit a hypeman that will be shouting “say yes, say yes” in the background. 

zikoko - Perfect Nigerian Proposal

In case your woman forgets that she is meant to say “yes”. And also in case, she gets tempted to say “No” by the sheer stupidity of your gesture.

4. Make sure its an absolute surprise.

zikoko - Perfect Nigerian Proposal

This should have been Rule number 1. You need to make absolutely sure that your soon to be fiancée has no idea that you want to ask her to spend the rest of her life with you. Make no attempt to discuss it first with her in the privacy and sanity of your house, just throw it at them in the busiest mall you can find.

5. Recruit another hypeman to make sure everything is captured on video.

You can even hire an entire camera crew. It all depends on your budget, remember this is a production.

6. If you want to be even more creative involve the police.

Traumatize a “yes” out of your prospective fiancée.

Valid example here:

If you enjoyed this guide then you should check this other guide out: A Nigerian Woman’s Guide To Apologizing To Her Man

Blessing Onyelobi

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

April 3, 2020

Don’t deny it, you sometimes feel the urge to cheat on your partner. To, you know, look outside. Only that you are afraid of being caught. And sweetheart, we understand. That’s why we are here to make things easier for you. Read our advice and you’ll do just fine. One thing though: take this advice […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

November 28, 2020

Tucked deep in the south-west, you’ve probably passed through Osun state on your way to other places in Nigeria. You probably didn’t spare the state another glance. Apart from playing host to Obafemi Awolowo University, arguably the best federal university in Nigeria (haters will say it’s a lie), Osun state is also home to a […]

Cross River by-election
November 27, 2020

There will be by-elections in Cross River and some states other in Nigeria on December 5, 2020, and we’re counting down to the elections. We have written about everything you need to know about the by-elections and all the candidates in the Bayelsa West and Central Senatorial by-election. In Cross River state, the death of […]

Recommended Quizzes

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

More from Inside Life

November 26, 2020

With the way Nigeria is hot, you’d think Hell was full so they brought some of the fire here. Since people have been complaining of the heat, we decided to tell you seven ways you can stay cool. 1) Become a rainmaker You think it’s a joke, but once you become a rainmaker you can […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.
February 6, 2020
Who doesn't want to find love? In our bid to help, we paired up a bunch of single Nigerians, sending them on an all-expense paid date, and interviewing them before and after they met.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X