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  • 1. Playing with sand in the name of “Mummy and Daddy”:

    Even though you could never even really eat the food.

    2. When you fail ordinary exam and it’s like the world has ended.

    Are you the furst?

    3. Going to night class to study like our lives depended on it:

    Maybe it did…but just look at now. Look at.

    4. The way you dressed for your first job interview:

    Trying to confuse them into hiring you.

    5. Calling this “blow blow”:

    6. How you fought to sit next to that new classmate that just came from jand:

    7. Then all your stationery mysteriously goes missing so you have to borrow everything from that classmate because theirs is from jand.

    8. The way you begged your parents to get you this pair of sneakers:

    9. Filling this with sand so you could use it as a cellphone:

    10. When someone who isn’t in your group is trying to play with you:

    11. Your list of noisemakers when it was finally your turn to write it:

    12. When they say, “Make a big circle”, and you replied with, “Like your mother’s cooking pot”…

    …and then fought over whose mother’s cooking pot it was…SMH

    13. This plastic doll that caused too much wahala because they all looked the same:

    14. Sharing a stick of Goody Goody and fighting over who got the bigger half.

    15. Pretending to faint during Inter-house sports just so you can get some Glucose D.

    16. Sneaking this into school to prove that you have “chopped liver”.

    17. Writing your name inside your pen just so no one can steal it…

    …but they always did!

    18. Hiding your classwork so no one can copy you…

    …but have we all not finished school like this?

    And now, if you’re #TeamNatural, this is your life in 22 photos:

    https://zikoko.com/list/22-struggles-every-naturalista-can-relate-to/

  • 1. When your Nigerian mother is about to hit you and you hold her hand:

    Just go and start praying that your soul will be accepted into heaven.

    2. Nigerian mothers don’t joke with their phones.

    https://twitter.com/I_pissVodka/status/861993903184072705

    3. Naija mum be like, “So cooking the food wasn’t enough I’ll wash the plate too abi?”

    https://twitter.com/Greybean_/status/862042098039754753

    4. “You say what??”

    https://twitter.com/TheDejiBalogun/status/862198134155464704

    5. It’s like you don’t like yourself.

    https://twitter.com/Tunnyking/status/862322890674491393

    6. “Why did you put mop on your head?”

    https://twitter.com/sire_liljosh/status/862303037641150464

    7. “So you want to beat me now abi? Beat me! Beat me!”

    https://twitter.com/omoissy/status/862287873088901120

  • 1. You will agree that this guy has become the official meme-face of 2017.

    https://twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/860969824926781441

    2. With expressions like this:

    3. And this:

    4. And this immortal one:

    5. So here’s a compilation of the most hilarious memes we could find using this guy’s face:

    https://twitter.com/sayrusty/status/861607370480390144
    https://twitter.com/iam_AbdulAxis/status/861534346129408000
    https://twitter.com/IamDamilosky/status/859377431072866305
    https://twitter.com/LeAmbivert/status/862062341495672832
    https://twitter.com/sire_liljosh/status/862569797191516160
    https://twitter.com/sire_liljosh/status/862200904518430721
    https://twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/857702419702198273
    https://twitter.com/The_improviser/status/862189735917342720
    https://twitter.com/BillionTwiTs/status/859720350384500737
    https://twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/860892543164219392
    https://twitter.com/omoissy/status/860923971054821376
    https://twitter.com/EmiNiTybaba/status/861519185448493056
    https://twitter.com/iam_AbdulAxis/status/861671383042052096
    https://twitter.com/king_talent/status/861837456093696001
    https://twitter.com/omoissy/status/861915217428705280
    https://twitter.com/pyepar/status/861935645895348224
    https://twitter.com/I_pissVodka/status/861947525523288064
    https://twitter.com/FanAnticsFC/status/862080763780616194

  • Once again, our very own President Buhari is making the headlines.

    Don’t worry, he hasn’t traveled to obodo again.

    He only moved his work from his office to his house.

    Yup.

    Appaz, he’s liking the way all this people are staying at home and getting stuff done and he’s not about all that nine to five struggle life.

    Okay, no…not exactly.

    According to his presidential mouthpiece, Min. Lai Mohammed, the president had missed yesterday’s Federal Executive Council Meeting for the second time this month, because he felt slightly under the weather and decided to work from home for the rest of the day.

    But Nigerians are not buying it.

    And in true Nigerian fashion, they are letting their anger and skepticism show. See some of the reactions below:

    1. There appears to be some confusion on the president’s actual working space.

    2. Wait…wait…wait…who brought in the other room now?

    3. But is it not good that our president is embracing all the opportunities of the Internet?

    4. But Oga Lai is not holding him na?

    5. Ah, it’s like the Oba of Lagos has become the new curve meme of April 2017.

    6. But what if the president is looking for a career change?

    https://twitter.com/MrOkeke_/status/857246596504924160

    7. You know, no matter how comfortable, office can never be like house na.

    https://twitter.com/OsasCruz/status/857247627838205952

    8. Er…erm…good luck with that.

    9. Er…we were never really sure about Reno’s nuggets anyways, so we shall handle this advice with care.

    10. But why did y’all have to go and drag Mugabe into it?

    https://twitter.com/MissIgho/status/857236849907179521

    11. From blogger to marketer; if this president thing doesn’t work out, Daddy Bubu appears to have many other career options.

    12. But…but…that was before before now…

    https://twitter.com/torbah_ben/status/857567321069690880

    13. Because Daddy Bubu said he’s now working from home they’ve already gone to give him homework.

    14. But he already told you he belongs to nobody…

    15. But what is wrong with being part of the #WorkingFromHomeGang?

    16. And now, Daddy Bubu has become Daddy Emperor!

    17. Meanwhile, this one wants to receive lectures from home.

    https://twitter.com/lorrettallwell/status/857707904656445440

    18. Strong predictions for Daddy Bubu’s proposed blogging career:

    19. It however appears that the #WorkingFromHomeGang has got Daddy Bubu’s back.

  • The journey began normal. We left on time, I had my earphones on, my jamz on repeat, even the air conditioner was blasting cool breeze on my face; it was shaping up to be a perfect trip.

    Then, halfway through the journey everything changed and my perfect trip was ruined

    Hay God! What is this now?

    It started slowly, I barely even noticed it

    Wh…wha…what’s happening?

    Suddenly, one rumble…

    Oh my God, was that my stomach or the car entering a pothole?

    Then another rumble…

    Father Lord this cannot be happening…

    My face when the volcano erupted

    Everybody else’s face

    And then…

    But the mess did not stop there.

    I started thinking of how to find toilet on time before the full thing dropped

    Me when I couldn’t take it anymore

    I begged the driver to stop in the middle of the road

    Bent down and did my business behind a bush

    Contributing to nature

    For the rest of the journey everybody was looking at me like…

  • Toothbrushes are literally the reason your teeth looks like this:

    Instead of like this:

    Now imagine if they could talk, they’d definitely have a lot to say.

    Yup. Here are a couple of things that would babble from or toothbrushes’ bristles;

    1. “Eh sah, can you please stop holding me like we’re fighting?”

    2. “Say after me; toothbrush…not chewing stick!”

    Wow. When we are not scrubbing jeans!

    3. “Oga, what have you been eating?”

    Why is your mouth smelling like bumbum like this? Is that where the food comes in or goes out?

    4. “I have tried now. Let another toothbrush enter set.”

    I want to retire. I can’t keep doing this. It’s been too long, you have to let me go. Didn’t your dentist tell you only three months?

    5. “Seriously, you don’t floss?”

    Like, for real? Who are you?

    But seriously, guys, dental hygiene is important

    It’s easier to brush properly than to fix holes in your teeth. And now, here are 9 things broke ass people are really tired of hearing.

  • 1. This one about buttocks

    No matter how much the buttocks are in a hurry, they will always remain behindNigerian proverbs

    2. Why hasn’t this happened, really?

    A child can play with its mother’s breasts, but not its father’s testicles

    3. I have kuku said love is a scam

    It’s better to fall from a tree and a break your back than to fall in love and break your heart

    4. Why is there a fly on your scrotum in the first place?

    It requires a lot of carefulness to kill the fly that perches on the scrotum

    5. The man with the fufu has everything already

    Man wey carry Ogbono soup pot for hand, and the man wey carry fufu for head, na who go find who go?

    6. My anger is very hot, let’s put this to a test

    Anger, no matter how hot it is, can never cook yam.

    7. Why would anyone even do this?

    He who swallows a complete coconut have absolute trust in his anus

    8. Very useful for people who lack respect

    Snails don’t venture where horned animals gather

    9. I have done this, so….

    You cannot run and scratch your anus at the same time

    10. Truly and honestly

    There is no greater injustice than when anus farts, head receives a knock

    11. This makes sense, literally

    He who sleeps with itchy anus must wake up with smelly fingers

    12. So the handsomeness of the male monkey must be imaginary too

    The beauty of a female monkey is imaginary to the husband (Zambia)

    13. Poor goat!

    The frown on the face of a goat will not stop it from being priced in the market

    14. This is why aunties and uncles don’t mind their business!

    It takes a whole village to raise a child

  • 1. The class sleeper

    A.KA the Class Jonah. All the teachers know him already.

    2. The junior boy that misplaced a senior’s bucket

    Seniors will now give him general beating every Saturday.

    3. The quiet junior student every senior likes to send errands

    Because she never complains and suffers in silence.

    4. The girl that had the most endowed body in school

    Boys will never let her rest!

    5. The sharp mouthed student that mistakenly abused the PRINCIPAL!

    So she mistakenly got expelled. From the world. With slaps.

    6. Those students who always had their allowances stolen

    When they will not buy iron box.

    7. What of the girl the House Master caught ‘shotputting’?

    The whole school will see her shame till she graduates.

    8. People who had their Biology notes stolen one week to exams.

    People that they’re doing from the village.

    9. The unfortunate class olodo

    The whole school knows their maths score sef.

    10. Everyone who got flogged on assembly

    The worst!

    11. And not to forget all of us who were called for ‘Last 5’ after tests.

    Is it fair?

    12. The girl who faced Oputa Panel on her first day of school.

    See grand welcome o!

    13. Everyone who knows the true meaning of ‘Mass Beating’

    If you know, you know!

  • 1. It is 2017 and some Nigerians still insist on minding other people’s business for them.

    2. Can you just imagine this rubbish?

    3. They didn’t know they jammed someone that has their time.

    4. No lies, fam! This is the gospel!

    5. Why can’t everybody just mind their business?

    6. This is our motto this year!

    7. A big round of applause for Natasha, please!

    8. The next time someone wants to put nose in your business, you know what to do.

  • 1. ‘Per-adventure’

    Who even came up with this?

    2. ‘Should in case’

    Can we all agree to stop saying this?

    3. ‘Fleet’

    This isn’t even an actual word.

    4. ‘Please dress’

    What are they dressing?

    5. “Tickle your fancy’

    Na wa!

    6. ‘Oga is not on seat’

    Edakun what does ‘on seat’ mean?

    7. ‘Short knicker’

    Smh!

    8. ‘Cut your hand’

    Ah!

    9. ‘Trafficate’

    It’s not only trafficate.

    10. Calling Coke and Fanta, ‘minerals’.

    Minerals ko, minerals ni.