25 Tweets That Explain The Daily Struggle Passengers Have With Bus Conductors

June 6, 2017

1. When the conductor refuses to stop for you because it’s not the “bus stop”:

They’ll just be shouting, “No be bus stop be dis”.

2. All the hatred you feel when the conductor is busy enjoying breeze outside and you’re sweating like Christmas goat inside:

3. All those perverted conductors:

Can you please keep your hands to yourself?

4. When you nearly miss your bus stop because you can’t even understand what the conductor is saying:

Which language do they even speak please?

5. Never ever EVER ask a conductor for directions:

They’ll just help you loss.

6. When you can’t find your money and you’ve already been giving the conductor eye:

It’s not a joking sturvz.

7. When you forget to collect your change from the conductor:

It can pain.

8. Conductors always manage to “forget” giving you change:

Conductors are the real scum tbh.

9. That annoying thing conductor’s do when they join your change with another passenger’s own:

Like, really?

10. When the conductor leaves with your change, it can really pain:

Like, really.

11. Really, when the conductor does not give you change, it can pain:

It’s not even funny at all.

12. When you’re trying to form ajebo to call your bus stop, conductor will just be looking at you like:

What is this one saying?

13. If you want to collect your change, you have to switch language for these conductors:

You cannot be forming ajebo for Lagos conductor.

14. You can really never be too sure when it comes to conductors and change:

Especially when there’s no money on these here streets.

15. When you’re staying jejely in your lane and the conductor uses his own to jam you:

But why na? Is it fair? Ehn?

16. When you want to do strong head after the conductor has said he doesn’t have change:

You get mind sha.

17. That awkward moment when the conductor starts fighting on top of your head:

Sha don’t punch me please.

18. Waiting for the conductor to give you change like:

Oya o…

19. When the conductor is trying to do strong head and doesn’t want to give you your change:

I go show craze for here today.

20. When the conductor is acting like they sent him to you:

If na play you dey play just stopeet.

21. When you decide to unlook and give the conductor bad money:

Eez like you don’t even like yourself.

22. All those conductors that like running away with change:

Where you dey go?

23. And all those conductors that’ll be abusing somebody anyhow because of change:

If you like abuse, just sha give me my change.

24. You when the conductor asks for money again after you’ve already paid:

It’s like something is worrying you.

25. When the conductor starts telling you to “dress, dress”:

Dress yourself.

More Zikoko!

https://zikoko.com/general/10-things-you-no-longer-remember-you-were-taught-in-english-class/
Avatar

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

April 11, 2021

Today’s Man Like is Andy Obuoforibo, a 40-year-old politician and product manager. He tells us about how his father’s warmth and work ethic taught him the real meaning of masculinity, how his mother’s foray into politics influenced him to participate in politics and why he supports the LGBTQ+ movement as a Nigerian politician. When did […]

April 11, 2021

See ehn, nobody is a hundred percent “normal” and being weird can be cool or creepy depending on how you look at it. Let’s not argue sha. Take this quiz for a little moment of truth. QUIZ: How Rude Are You? Are you polite abi everybody should getawt? Take the quiz and we’ll tell you.

April 10, 2021

With almost two years of being in existence, Sex Life has grown while staying true to its goal of exploring the sex lives of Nigerians. In the last one year and five months since Sex Life was created, we’ve spoken to about eighty Nigerians who are at different places in their lives, with different orintentations, […]

prayer house
April 10, 2021

As told to Mariam I travelled to Ilorin for an exam last week and on the bus, I rode in, I met Yoma*. Somehow the conversation of faith came up, and she told me she didn’t subscribe to the Christianity practised in churches. When I asked why, this is what she told me: I grew […]

Recommended Quizzes

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

More from Oldies

February 12, 2020

Forget Tunji and Daniella, if you’re wondering who your best friend is, it’s most definitely the phone you’re either reading this from or the phone that’s somewhere within your vision; we know this because you’re definitely a phone addict that gets a little impatient when you’re too far away from your phone. Okay, let’s not […]

February 8, 2020

Yes, Valentine’s Day is almost here. Love notes, chocolates, hampers, and everything that comes with it. But while everyone is being hit by cupid’s arrow, there are some people who don’t even feel the hype. If you’re one of them, then grab a seat at this table. 1. You, when you hear that Valentine is […]

February 8, 2020

In case you have not realised it, Nigerians have a PhD in lying. Multiple PhDs, even. And there are some people who are professors in the art of lying, but we will keep that conversation for another day. Anyway, here is a list of common lies Nigerians tell. Don’t lie, we know you must told […]

February 8, 2020

Anyone who grew up in a Nigerian household understands that the Saturday routine does not change. It is the same yesterday, today and forever. If you are a true Nigerian, then you’ll understand these pictures and their connection to Saturday mornings. 1. Morning devotion by 6:00 AM. In which your parents can slap you for […]

February 8, 2020

Growing up, Saturdays used to be fun thanks to Cadbury Nigeria and Silverbird television. However, these days, as an adult, Saturdays are filled with unfinished work from the week before. If you are lucky, maybe a nice outing or mild to moderate fornication. Still, all these don’t fill the void the way cartoons used to […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X