I often hear and see complaints from Nigerian men about how Nigerian women aren’t doing enough during sex or even making effort. So I asked eight Nigerian men what exactly it is that they want women to do during sex, and this is what they had to say. 

*Tife, 24 

I want women to care and communicate. Many times, we men are the ones asking, “Are you okay?” “Do you like this?” I also want women to also care enough to ask these questions. Ask if I’m okay, if I’m enjoying whatever it is you’re doing. Ask how you can make me cum. Also, everybody is trying to orgasm, so fight for your own. Don’t just stay there and not say anything. If you’re not enjoying the sex, say so.

*Chidubem, 25

I want women to communicate. Do you want to be kissed? Let me know. You want to be fingered and choked? Speak up. This isn’t working? Say it. Sex is always better when you open your mouth. Be proactive and take initiative, but don’t do too much. I’m still in charge, unless stated otherwise by either party.

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*Ahmed, 26

For me, I want women to put in more effort. Sex involves both parties thoroughly being pleased, but sometimes, it feels like women believe they are the only ones to be pleased during sex. That mindset needs to change. Also, when giving head, don’t forget to suck the balls too. It’s important to pay attention to all the details. 

*Andrew, 41

I would like women to do things during sex because they enjoy doing them, not because they think they have to do these things. I promise you, every man knows the difference between a woman that enjoys giving head and a woman that is doing it simply because she thinks you’ll like it.

*Emeka, 25

I believe a lot of men will stand solidly behind me when I say I need women to please ride dick for more than 30 seconds. Did Nigerian women come together and agree that thirty seconds was the standard time limit for riding dick? Is there a way we can extend it? Asides that, men also really like foreplay. We don’t always just want to go straight into penetration. And please don’t be afraid to be generous with the saliva when giving head — the sloppier the head, the better. 

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*Dapo, 25

One major thing I want women to do more often is throw it back during doggy. I don’t think they understand how much of a turn-on it is. 90% of the time during doggy, it’s men thrusting and women bending down and just staying there. It hits different when women match the energy and throw it back.

*Tony,  26

I want women to initiate things during sex. It’s two of us having sex, but most times it feels like it’s just the man doing and initiating everything. I want women to take control too. Tell me what to do, tell me the position we should switch to. Choke me, climb on me, etc. Be creative during the sex and suggest things we could do to make the sex more interesting. Suggest other surfaces and places aside from the bed where we can have sex. I just want women to make it feel like it’s two people having sex.

*Funto,  26

I need women to understand that they’re not the only ones that need to get turned on. I need to get turned on too. A lot of foreplay tends to revolve around the woman getting wet, and then, when she’s wet, the sex begins. Me, I want to enjoy foreplay too. When we’re kissing, touch me. Don’t just give me head, tease me into it. Try sucking my finger, suck my toes, try 69, and if you’re into it, eat my ass. It’s not just about you, it’s about me too.

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