Remember that human beings are wicked
Remind yourself that the heart of every single gender that exists is wicked. Go to one of those relationship advice pages and read the shege people who’ve caught feelings are seeing. Your eye will clear.
Think about the breakfast that awaits you
If you want to truly stop catching feelings, remember what popular philosopher, Burna Boy, said, “Last last, na everybody go chop breakfast.” The fear of heartbreak will make all feelings disappear.
The plan is to catch flights, not feelings. What are you doing? My friend, bring out your passport and start travelling the world. By the time you’re sipping a Mai Tai in Cape Point, you’ll forget about the person you’re supposed to be falling for.
Read their messages
Yes, this is an invasion of privacy, but there’s a high chance you’ll see something that’ll give you immediate chest pain that’ll make the feelings disappear. And isn’t that the goal here? Either you find out they’re saying rubbish about you in the group chat, or they’re interested in someone else, it’s better to know before the feelings get too deep.
Tell your friends
Make sure you let them know all the red flags and why you shouldn’t be liking them. Friends are best at convincing us to cancel and block any person causing us stress and pain.
Remind yourself that a bad bitch doesn’t catch feelings
Stand in front of a mirror, beat your chest three times, and say, “I’m a bad bitch, and I don’t do feelings. So I’ll stop having feelings for *insert name*”. Repeat this every day for three days, and you’ll be fine.
Write an epistle
Send the person an epistle telling them how you feel about them. Their one word/sentence reply will annoy the feelings out of you.
For some reason, people use jazz to make other people fall in love with them. Well, your case is different. You can’t be catching feelings in these streets, abeg. Time to find your nearest babalawo.
Just accept it
Why are you trying to stop what’s meant to be? Embrace the feelings happily. If you see shege, it’s okay. It’s part of life.
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