7 Nigerian Men Share How Sex Was Different Than They Imagined

August 10, 2021

TW: Sexual abuse

We’ve heard people say they wish they knew something different before they had sex, so we decided to ask Nigerian men how sex was different than they’d imagined.

Here’s what they had to say:

1. Asim

I wish I’d known how awkward sex can be. Movies always make it look straightforward and slick, but that’s not true. Sex is messy and there are body parts and bodily fluids everywhere. Also, in sync orgasms? A fucking lie.

Another thing, porn’s portrayal of sex isn’t what real sex is like at all. Try some of that porn shit and you’ll both have to make a very embarrassing trip to the hospital.

2. Olode

I had been watching porn since I was in primary 2 and masturbating for a long time, so I knew I was going to be ready the first time I had sex. Omo, I wasn’t. It felt too good. I thought it would feel like I was masturbating, but it was so much better and so much wetter. I didn’t even last 3 minutes the first few times. It took a lot of mental gymnastics for me to prepare myself so I could last longer.

Another thing was odor. Sometimes, sex smells bad. It mostly shouldn’t, but I’ve been in situations where it smelt and I wish I was more prepared for stuff like that.

And then the worst thing is pulling out. Omo. Pulling out is not easy. Don’t let anyone make you believe that pulling out is easy. It is hard. This is how people have unwanted children. It is extremely difficult.

OH NO! Married Men Express Their Disappointment After Poll Reveals That  Women Trust Pastors More Than Their Husbands (AUDIO) - Classic 105

3. Tega

Not enough people talk about how messy sex is. All the sweat and fluids I experienced the first time was very jarring. Also, the vagina hole was much, much lower than I imagined it would be. Another thing is that sex is not as quiet as people might portray it. We need to have more conversations about quiffs because they’re a real thing.

I also didn’t think that I would know what I was doing, but somehow, I automatically did. I think it’s just human nature. The one thing that shocked me the most though, as how much conversation is involved in sex. You have to keep talking to your partner. Talking about what they like, what is comfortable, and all that. I didn’t expect that.

4. Prince

My first time was unexpected. My ex showed up at my place and was telling me about her first time having sex. She asked if I wanted to have sex and I said yes. Three minutes in, I knew I couldn’t last much longer so I asked her to stop. I was so shaken by how good it felt that I was scared to try again for a while.

I had absolutely no idea it would feel that good.

5. J.P.

In my experience, I’ve learnt to focus more on the sex than on the person I’m having sex with because in that moment, they also don’t see me. They just see the sex. I imagined that sex would be more romantic, with slow music playing in the background and all that, but that’s not how it is.

Alcohol causing erectile dysfunction for men in South Africa | Drum

6. Tife

An advice I would give my younger self on sex is that, “You’re probably not going to be good on your first few tries. Don’t let anyone deceive you. It’s going to take some time to learn and you’re going to make mistakes, and that’s fine. Most of the things you see on the internet and the things you hear about sex from people are lies.”

7. White

The first time I tried to have sex, I couldn’t get through with it because I didn’t want to get expelled from school for having sex. I was 18 and we were in the same level in university. The second time, it was with the same person. She was giving me head and then swiftly changed to sit on my dick and began to ride. I pushed her away. We were still in school, and I still didn’t want to get expelled. The third time, the exact scenario happened. This time, I ejaculated in seconds. She made me clean up and try again. We kept trying and I kept ejaculating in seconds. This happened about three times. It was embarrassing. I’d heard guys saying they went for hours straight, and I could only go for seconds. I didn’t realise I was being sexually exploited. I was concerned that I wasn’t lasting long.

For the next couple of years, sex for me was all about beating my previous record. Two minutes. Three minutes. Five minutes. I didn’t care about the person or the process. It wasn’t about intimacy. It was about time. I wish I knew that it’s not about how long but how good it is. I wish I knew that all the guys saying they were going for hours straight were lying. Nobody told me.


QUIZ: Make A Sex Playlist, And We’ll Guess Your Body Count

David Odunlami

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 28, 2020

Fapping. Beating your meat. Polishing the banister. Playing 5-on-1. Self-loving. Tapping into your potential. Finding Nemo. For something that has so many alternate names, masturbation remains a taboo topic in Nigeria, thanks to a society saturated with religion and purity culture. It’s a rite of passage virtually every man goes through at some point in […]

November 3, 2020

It’s November again and everyone is going around shouting “NO NUT NOVEMBER.” If you think No Nut November means you don’t get to eat peanuts, groundnuts and walnuts in some sort of weird health awareness thing, you’d be dead wrong. No Nut November is an annual event where men are encouraged not to ejaculate throughout […]

August 30, 2020

What does it mean to be a man? Surely, it’s not one thing. It’s a series of little moments that add up. “Man Like” is a weekly Zikoko series documenting these moments to see how it adds up. It’s a series for men by men, talking about men’s issues. We try to understand what it […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

February 26, 2020

Are you all set for marriage, or are you still figuring it out? Well, if you’re curious to know the answer, then this is the quiz for you. All you have to do is create your own ideal Nollywood wedding film, and we’ll tell you if you’re ready to say “I do”. Go ahead:

More from Man Dem

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X