Today is June 28, 2022. It’s that time of the year when people review their lives and discover they’ve failed on all of their new year resolutions and go again with renewed energy only to fail again. But that’s not our business. We’re only here to judge you for the things you should have achieved by now. Time waits for no one..

By now you should have…

Changed your toothbrush

Six months. 26 weeks. 182 days. The same toothbrush. Are you not a wicked person? See, as you’re reading this article, just stand up and go and buy toothbrush now now. Don’t let the second half of the year meet you with the same thing you’ve been putting in your mouth every day for SIX MONTHS!

Broken up with your partner

Speaking of things you put in your mouth every day, why are you still with your January partner? Did they use swear to join you people together? Okay, you’ve done New Year’s and Valentine’s together. Is that not enough? Abi are you falling in love? Please wake up regain focus. Is it the same person you want to do Sallah and Christmas with? Smh.

Gotten your summer body

To be honest, summer will have to be calming down and be waiting for all of us. Because where is this year running to? I’ve been waiting for the right moment to enter the gym and the right moment hasn’t come, so summer body is still loading. 

Anyways, July is still far. We have two days. Let me finish writing this article, eat my eba, and run down the stairs twice. Workout don start be that. See you in July. 


7 Things to Do Before You Break Up With Someone

Registered for your PVC


Are you stubborn? All the “Get Your PVC” we’ve been shouting since, did you think it was play? This is the last time we’ll say it, please go and register for your PVC today. 

Stopped eating semo

A Zikoko listicle without semo slander? God forbid bad thing. Stop eating Semo today. Thanks. 

Stopped pressing your phone

According to Nigerian mums, pressing of phone is the leading cause of stomach ache, malaria, poverty, cancer, spiritual problems and Nigeria’s problems. If you think something about your life needs to change in the next half of the year, throw your phone away. 

ALSO: 7 Things to Do When You Are Bored AF but Are Tired of Pressing Phone



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