9 Valentine’s Day Gifts Nigerian Women Are Tired of Receiving

February 2, 2022

It’s Valentine’s season and everyone is either waiting to receive a gift or making plans to get someone else one. Before you make any more plans, here’s a list of gifts Nigerian women are tired of receiving. 

1. Flowers 

Especially when it’s just flowers and not accompanied by anything else, like chocolates or an all expense paid trip to another country so I can disappear when we get there and never return to Nigeria. Just flowers? What are we supposed to do with that? Cook soup?

2. Sex

We have sex every other day.Why is Valentine’s Day own special? My dear, put your wallet to good use and buy her a proper gift. Then you can use sex to top off the night.

3. Babies 

Very common with south south men. They won’t show up with a gift but they will give you all the sex in the world. Next thing you know, you’re with child.  

4. Silence 

Some women get silence on Valentine’s Day. This could be because they are single with no partner prospects or their partner found a reason to fight with them at 11:58pm on the 13th of February. Either way, silence is not a gift. Y’all fix up. Get a random woman a Valentine’s gift TODAY.

5. Non-alcoholic wine 

Non-alcoholic wine is really just fruit juice in a fancy bottle disguised as wine. So please come correct. Don’t be confusing sisters, please.

6. Reaffirmation 

Those cute, heartfelt messages are great, love, but where is your capitalism-endorsed proof that you love me? Miss us with that shit, abeg. 

7. Dry cookies 

Just order her lunch instead. Those dry ass cookies that can choke you to death if you eat them without a drink ain’t doing shit for anybody.

8. Cheap chocolate 

Same WhatsApp group with cookies. Just say you hate her, take your Toblerone, and go. 

9. Movie date 

If you are not buying out an entire cinema for just you two, don’t bother. Let homegirl eat her cheap chocolate in the comfort of her house.

Subscribe to our newsletter here.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Life
January 26, 2022

Today’s subject for #ZikokoWhatSheSaid is a 50-year-old mum of three living her life backwards. She talks about the ups and downs of having a police dad, navigating adulthood without a solid plan and the moment of epiphany that reset her life.

Period pain
May 28, 2021

By Oreoluwa Olukorode For most women, period pain was a whole new experience no one prepared them for. From mild discomfort to unconsciousness, five Nigerian Women share their period pain stories and how they have been dealing with it. This was compiled to celebrate Menstrual Hygiene Day which is today, May 28, 2021, as solidarity to […]

September 18, 2020

There’s a lot of creepy behavior directed towards Nigerian women that have been annoyingly normalized. Most of them are often masked as jokes, so the perpetrators expect women to laugh over them. But perverted behavior is perverted behavior, and because we can only deal with one pandemic at a time, we will appreciate it if […]

May 25, 2022

Today’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is a 36-year-old Nigerian woman. She talks about her big-city dreams after moving from Owerri to Lagos, why she married her persistent lover from Facebook and the challenge of living with her in-laws before finding happiness.

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Her

September 25, 2022

Simi and Taofeeqat became best friends in SS2. Before adulthood came between them, they gave each other cheesy love letters and long hugs. In this #LettertoHER, Simi wants Taofeeqat to know she misses her.

September 20, 2022

If your partner spent so much time in your home that it felt like they lived there, moving on can be tougher. So what happens when you can’t afford to move out to move on from the memories of your partner? 7 Nigerians who’ve been heartbroken shared their experience.

What She Said: I’ll Run For Office in 2027
September 14, 2022

Nafisa Atiku-Adejuwon talks about experiencing politics in secondary school, choosing public service over a legal career and finding purpose in helping young women enter politics through “Girls Just Want to Run”.

September 11, 2022

“In everything I wanted to do, my grandma always told me to go for it, even if I wanted to fly to the moon. She never made any of my dreams seem unachievable.”

In this personal essay, Dammy talks about her grandmother, who was also her best friend. #GrandparentsDay

What She Said: Feminism Led Me to Atheism
August 31, 2022

This week’s #ZikokoWhatSheSaid subject is a 23-year-old Nigerian woman. She tells us about discovering her feminism, pansexuality and atheism through books while living with her close-knit conservative family.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X