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  • BattaBox took to the streets to ask Nigerians if they could slap their mothers for 20 million dollars. Nigerians were ever-dramatic with their responses.

    A woman said she’ll rather slap her mother for money than do money ritual.

    Na wa o! When did slapping someone have anything to do with money ritual?

    Many said they could never slap their mothers because a mother is worth much more than money.

    But 20 million dollars can pay for a year’s worth of cheek massages for mummy sha, just saying.

    Some said they wouldn’t because they don’t want their mothers to curse them.

    The fear of a Nigerian mother’s curses is the beginning of wisdom.

    One said his mother would offer to be slapped willingly and he would celebrate Mother Slapping Day after collecting the money.

    Na wa!

    Others said they needed their mother’s permission before slapping them.

    Who permission don epp?

    What would you do?

    [zkk_poll post=30650 poll=content_block_standard_format_6]

    Watch the full video here.

  • 1. When she looks at her phone as if it is trying to deceive her.

    Mummy, your phone is not against you.

    2. How she saves numbers on her phone:

    They don’t even have time.

    3. The kind of texts she sends you when you’re upstairs:

    Hay God!

    4. The kind of texts she sends you when you’re out with friends:

    I’m coming home oh.

    5. When she calls you to come and load her credit.

    Stress.

    6. The kind of Whatsapp BCs she sends:

    Who even sent you this thing?

    7. The kind of pictures she sends on Whatsapp:

    Na wa.

    8. When she calls you for a “short prayer”:

    I don taya.

    9. How she takes pictures:

    Mama D Mama!

    10. When she calls you to come and help her type a “short text”.

    God, epp me.

    11. Nigerian mothers and dual sim phones.

    All. Of. Them.

    12. When she calls you and you don’t answer.

    I’m dead.

    13. Her excuse, when you ask her why she didn’t answer her phone:

    Mummy, it’s called a MOBILE phone for a reason.

  • 1. When they have to ask “have you seen me today?” before you greet them.

    It’s not their concern that you really hadn’t seen them.

    2. When they see someone that is left handed.

    How dare you be born that way?

    3. When you have more than one colour in your hair.

    Ah! You want to go and do prostitution.

    4. When you wear a dress that is exposing your shoulder blades and ankles.

    Better go and wear that turtleneck.

    5. When they see a girl with more than one piercing and a boy that has any at all.

    You sef, why are you chooking holes in your body?

    6. When they hear that you were talking to someone of the opposite sex.

    You better be ready to marry them.

    7. When your curfew is 9:00 and you get in by 9:01.

    You should have slept there na, since you can’t keep to time.

    8. When you lend them money and ask for it back.

    All the school fees they paid for you, did they collect it back? Better shift.

    9. When they are talking to you and you are keeping quiet.

    So, you can’t talk abi?

    10. When they are talking to you and you are talking too.

    So, you can’t keep quiet abi?

    11. When you don’t greet all the 15 adults in a room individually.

    You cannot prostrate 15 times?

    12. When you don’t add “ma” or “sir” to the end of every word.

    “yes ma, yes ma, yes” “Is it me you are saying yes too???”

    13. When a sex scene comes on and your eyes are still open.

    You want to learn so you can go and practice abi?

    14. When they make a mistake and you correct them.

    It’s like you’re mad.

    15. When they want to slap you and you dodge it.

    Fight them na.

    16. When you eat your meat before touching your rice.

    You need slap.

    17. When you wear your trouser lower than this:

    Be there sagging like a criminal.

  • 1. When you try to explain why you forgot to bring out the chicken from the freezer.

    2. When she is laughing with her friends and you come and add mouth.

    3. When you ask her where to put the groceries.

    4. When she sends you to go and bring her bag from her room.

    5. When you ask her if you can go out and visit your friends.

    6. When you eat from your party pack before she inspects it.

    7. When you bring home a girl that can’t pound yam.

    8. When she wants to send you on an errand but it’s raining.

    9. When she asks “how many times did I call your name” and you try to answer.

    10. When she sees you wearing anything that is not a suit or trad.

    11. When they offer you food outside and you accept it.

    12. When she makes a seller go from N3000 to N300.

  • 1. When that your unemployed uncle is trying to lecture you about school.

    Well, this is awkward.

    2. When you’re about to travel and your mum says “I had a dream…”

    Hay God!

    3. When you hear your father’s horn at the gate and the whole house is scattered.

    It’s all over.

    4. When you open the icecream container in the freezer and see egusi soup.

    What is this life?

    5. When you’re playing outside without slippers and you see your father’s car approaching,

    Chineke!

    6. When that aunty that hasn’t seen you since you were born asks “do you remember me?”

    Adongerrit.

    7. When visitors come and your mum starts bringing out food and drinks you didn’t know were in the house.

    Oh? So we don’t deserve good food too, abi?

    8. When you open the container of Danish cookies and see needle and thread.

    Is it fair?

    9. When your father tells you to come and play with that cousin you don’t like.

    Oh God!

    10. When your mother that warned you not to eat anything at her friends house starts saying “eat na”.

    What will I now believe?

    11. When you say you can’t find something and you hear “if I come there and find it…”

    What is all this?

    12. When your mother calls you by your full government name.

    I’m in trouble

    13. When all your friends are going out but you’ve already gone out this month.

    The pain is real.

    14. When your mother tells you to clean your room because visitors are coming.

    Hian! Will they come and enter my room?

    15. When your parents finish beating you then start asking “why are you crying?”

    Are you joking?

    16. When your watch your mother price a shoe from N15,000 down to N1,500.

    Mama the mama.

    17. When you ask your father if you can go out and he says “go and ask your mother.”

    Na wa for una.

  • 1. When your mum is calling your sibling and you try to help.

    https://twitter.com/ms_hanie/status/712009407496916992

    2. When your father sees you doing anything that doesn’t relate to your education.

    https://twitter.com/sirDaccoh/status/681629451445243904

    3. When your mum takes everything literally.

    https://twitter.com/Khordeleah/status/679978719281319936

    4. When you bring one nonsense result home to your father.

    5. When your mother gives you that death stare.

    https://twitter.com/malik_pinmouth/status/629016278972370944

    6. When you try to be cool with your father,

    7. When your mother tells you to clean the house and you do rubbish,

    8. When you want to misbehave and your mother reminds you where you came from.

    https://twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/698252563561447426

    9. When your mother expects you to be able to read her mind.

    10. When your mother jumps form 0 to 100 just like that.

    https://twitter.com/Oj_Philz/status/639551201130999808

    11. When your mother starts making you consider money ritual.

    12. When you don’t get the best score humanly possible.

    https://twitter.com/ochman101/status/656143509087457280

    13. When you tell your mother you can’t find something.

    https://twitter.com/chuuzzy/status/576654410719318016

    14. When you ask your father for money.

    15. When you hear this song and you know it’s a fresh round of prayers.


  • The Nigerian mother is seriously one of a kind. Her amazing ability to go from whooping your ass with an eba stick to lovingly rubbing your head really needs to be studied.

    Although this may seem like a totally random generalization, it’s actually a very valid one. And these tweets and the amount of retweets they gathered in agreement, just further validate that point.

    1. The Paranoia

    https://twitter.com/boluososami/status/626712586004860928

    2. The Discipline

    3. The Telepathy

    4. The Sass

    5. The Expectation

    6. The Amnesia

    https://twitter.com/SemilooreAkoni/status/626520240042733568

    7. The Guilt Tripping

    https://twitter.com/rocboifabulouz/status/626490542432632832

    8. The Invincibility

    9. The Sarcasm

    10. The Technophobia

    11. The ‘Helping’

    https://twitter.com/iam_Raice/status/626473269068234752

    12. The Haggling

    13. The Indecisiveness

    14. The ‘Fight’

    https://twitter.com/saaboi_/status/626460498670813184

    15. The Forgetfulness

    16. The Warning

    https://twitter.com/TweetLikeNICOLE/status/626401105824583680

    17. The Child Slavery

    https://twitter.com/Humour_Island/status/626399089912098816

    18. The Inhuman Precision

    19. The Glare

    https://twitter.com/Nutty_may/status/626363848107409408

    20. The Suspicion

    Nigerian mothers really are the best. So, what’s your favorite ‘Nigerian mother’ behavior? Please, sound off in the comments section