1. Really, what else were you expecting to be number 1?

Geles for the win.

2. Your mother’s “I’m here for my breakthrough” Sunday hat:

You already know she is not there to play.

3. The “I’m going to slay at Asalatu” veil:


4. The “let’s go and scatter that Owambe” jewellery:

Mama Di Mama!

5. The ‘I beta pass my neighbour’ bead set:

Oshey, mummy of the bride.

6. Your mother’s wardrobe is basically incomplete without:

Nigerian mothers love their matchy-matchy.

7. The bag your mother always forgets her phone in:

Why they never answer your call.

8. The unofficial Nigerian mother wig:

If your mother is funky, she will have it in brown too.

9. Your father’s ‘pass me the remote’ polo:

You know he is about to watch football.

10. Every Nigerian adult’s reading glasses.

They will now put it on their nose.

11. The shoes your aunty who’s always complaining loves to wear:

12. Your father’s favourite stay-at-home outfit:

Just add his newspaper and slippers and he is fine.

13. Your father’s “I’m going to see a friend” shoes:

They ALL have it.

14. Your favourite Nigerian uncle’s shoes:

The one that always gives you ‘biscuit money’.

15. The cap your least favourite uncle owns:

He was meant to stay with your family for just a week… It’s been 3 years.


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