1. The eba stick that doubles as a weapon:

Your mother’s favourite.

2. The iron sponge that is always on the brink of death:

Your only friend when washing that evil pot.

3. The Nylon bag full of even more nylon bags:

For what? Only God knows.

4. The only seasoning that matters:

More important than water sef.

5. The bowl every visitor uses to wash their hand before they eat:

Because God forbid they enter the kitchen to wash their hands.

6. The almighty microwave cover:

Nigerian mothers swore it would prevent cancer.

7. That bowl with a wedding or burial sticker:

If not for Owambes would Nigerians even have kitchen utensils?

8. That handle-less pot that is “older than you”:

You mother had the pot before she had you. Show it respect.

9. The eva bottle filled with palm oil:

The realest oil ever made.

10. The infinite number of unwashable plastic containers:

That stain will NEVER go out.

11. Those plastic covers with their matching bowls nowhere in sight:

Always more covers than actual bowls.

12. The blender that smells like pepper no matter how much you wash it:

Can even try and blend anything else without tasting pepper.

13. The morning fresh that is more water than actual morning fresh:

It always lasts longer than it has any right to.

14. The ice-cream bowl full of disappointment:

It will never not hurt,

15. The “there is rice at home” bag of rice:

How rice is not on the Nigerian flag is beyond us.


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