mother | Zikoko!

Table of contents

Short Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Long Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Touching Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Birthday Prayers for Your Mum

Your mum’s birthday is more than just another date on the calendar. It’s a chance to celebrate the woman who raised you, prayed for you, and probably threatened you more times than you can count. Finding the right birthday wishes for mum can be tough because how do you put into words everything she means to you?

“My mum’s birthday is my chance to pause and show her how much she’s shaped who I am,” says Dayo, 27. “It’s when I make sure to tell her every year how much I love her.”

Whether she prefers heartfelt prayers, a touch of humour, or long wishes, there’s a perfect message here to make her laugh, or cry happy tears. We’ve compiled over 100 happy birthday wishes and blessings for mum that’ll help you say everything she deserves to hear, and secure your spot as her favourite child.

Short Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Sometimes, a few words are all it takes to make your mum feel appreciated.

“I don’t like long stories on my birthday,” says Tope, 43, a mum of two. “One simple message is enough to make my day.”

Here are some short and sweet birthday wishes for mum to make her day.
- It’s my mum’s birthday! I wish you a day filled with as much love as you give to me!
- Happy birthday, Mum! You’re my greatest inspiration.
- Wishing you the best birthday ever because heaven knows you deserve it.
- Happy birthday to a mum who’s forever young at heart
- Thanks for all you do for me, Mum. Have an amazing birthday!
- Happy birthday to the woman who means the absolute most to me.
- Happy birthday to my role model and best friend! I love you so much.
- Cheers to another year of being an amazing mum!
- I’m so glad that you’re my mum! Happy birthday!
- Happy birthday to my first best friend!
- Happy birthday, Mum. Thanks for all that you do and all that you are.
- I’m lucky to have a mum who’s also my best friend. Happy birthday!
- Wishing a special day to the world’s best mum.
- I owe everything to you, but for now, happy birthday!
- I’m here to make sure that your birthday is as joyful as you are!
- We celebrate you every day, but today we’re going to go ten times harder! Happy birthday, mummy!!!
- Sending you a birthday wish wrapped with all my love.
- I’m so lucky to call you my mum. Sending you all my love on this special day!
- Wishing my kind, supportive, and one-of-a-kind mother a very happy birthday.
- On this day, the kindest and most caring person was born. Happy birthday, Mum!
Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail

Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action

Zikoko Daily Ships Money by Zikoko Her

ALSO READ: 100+ Birthday Wishes for Your Son That Capture Everything He Means to You

Long Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Some feelings just can’t fit into a short message, especially when it comes to your mum. A long birthday wish is the perfect way to remind her how much she means to you.

These long and heartfelt birthday wishes for mum will help you say everything your mum deserves to hear.
- Happy birthday, Mum! You’ve been my biggest supporter, my most patient teacher, and my forever safe space. I hope this new year brings you joy that never runs dry and peace that flows like a river. You deserve all the love in the world today and always.
- To the woman who carried me before the world even knew me — thank you for every sacrifice, every prayer, every hug, and every hard truth. I’m so proud to call you my mother. May your day be as lovely and extraordinary as you are.
- Mummy, your strength, grace, and endless love have shaped the person I am today. I don’t say it enough, but I’m grateful for you every single day. Happy birthday to the one who does it all and makes it look effortless.
- There’s no one like you, Ma. You love deeply, give selflessly, and forgive easily. I pray this new year rewards you with all the goodness you’ve poured into others. Happy birthday, my queen!
- You’re not just my mother, you’re my best friend, my anchor, and my daily inspiration. Thank you for showing me what love, resilience, and strength look like. I celebrate you today and every day.
- If I had to choose a lifetime again, I’d still pick you as my mother. You’re simply irreplaceable. Happy birthday to the one whose love raised a whole generation. I love you endlessly.
- Mummy, you wear so many hats: nurturer, counsellor, cheerleader, warrior. And you wear them all with such grace. I hope today brings you all the joy you’ve given to everyone around you.
- Every good part of me is because of you. Your discipline, your laughter, your unwavering support — all of it has shaped me. I’m blessed beyond measure to be your child. Happy birthday, Mum.
- Happy birthday, Mummy. May this year be filled with little joys, answered prayers, and the kind of peace you’ve always wanted. You deserve nothing less.
- You taught me to love fearlessly, speak honestly, and dream boldly. I carry your lessons with me everywhere I go. Thank you for everything, Ma. Happy birthday!
- The world is brighter, softer, and kinder because you’re in it. Happy birthday to the woman whose love knows no bounds. May this new year treat you gently.
- To my first friend, first teacher, and forever hero — happy birthday, Mum. You’ve given me more than I can ever repay, but I’ll spend my life trying.
- I hope this day reminds you of how loved and valued you are. Your love is a light that never goes out, and I’m lucky to bask in it. Happy birthday, Mum.
- On your special day, I just want to say thank you. For the times you stayed up late worrying, the meals you cooked with love, and the prayers you whispered on my behalf. You’re the real MVP.
- You’ve held this family together with nothing but strength and grace. I hope today brings you the kind of peace and celebration you deserve. Happy birthday, Mum.
- Happy birthday, my heart. You’ve given so much of yourself to us, and I hope today you get a fraction of that love back. You’re one of one, and I’m blessed to be your child.
- You’ve always made birthdays special for us and today, it’s your turn. I hope your day is filled with cake, laughter, and all the things that make your soul happy. I love you much more than I can ever express.
- Mum, no one loves like you do. You show up, hold space, and give without expecting anything in return. Today, we celebrate you and everything you stand for. Enjoy your day!
- The older I get, the more I understand everything you sacrificed for me. Thank you for your quiet strength and loud love. Happy birthday, Mum.
- Happy birthday, my queen. I wish you a birthday filled with sunshine, peace, and the joy of knowing you’ve raised kings and queens. You’re a living legend, Mummy!
ALSO READ: 100+ Birthday Wishes and Blessings for Your Dad

Touching Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Sometimes, you want to go beyond the basic “Happy birthday, Mum” and say something that really touches her heart.

“My mum cried when she read my last birthday message,” Kemi, 29, tells Zikoko. “She said it made her feel truly loved and appreciated.”

If you’re looking for words that will remind her just how much she means to you, these touching birthday wishes are exactly what you need.
- Mummy, your love is the reason I believe in goodness. You’ve held me through every storm and celebrated me through every win. I hope today reminds you of just how deeply you are loved.
- There’s no gift I could ever give that would measure up to all you’ve done for me. But today, I give you my heart in words: thank you mum, for everything. Happy birthday, Ma.
- I’ve watched you give your all even when you had little. Your love is my greatest inheritance. May today bring you all the joy you’ve given me, and more.
- Happy birthday, Mum. You’ve been the hands that lifted me, the voice that guided me, and the heart that never gave up on me. I’m forever grateful for you.
- No matter how far I go, your love always brings me home. Thank you for being my forever safe space. Happy birthday, Mum.
- Mummy, your strength has built bridges for me. Your sacrifices, though often silent, speak the loudest in my life. I celebrate you today and always.
- You loved me through every version of myself, even when I didn’t deserve it. I hope this new year brings you peace, laughter, and rest. Happy birthday, my rock.
- Every time I pray, I thank God for you. You are truly one of His best gifts to me. May He bless you today with everything your heart desires.
- Momsi, I see you not just as a mother, but as a woman who gave her all. May this birthday remind you that you matter, deeply and endlessly.
- Your love has covered me more times than I can count. Today, I cover you in celebration, gratitude, and prayers. Happy birthday, my angel in human form.
- You’ve always shown up for birthdays, heartbreaks, and every ordinary day in between. I’m honoured to show up for you today. Happy birthday, Mum.
- They say no one can replace a mother. But truthfully, no one could ever be you. You’re one of a kind. And I love you more than words can say.
- You gave me the world, even when yours was falling apart. I hope today the world gives you a fraction of the love you’ve sown. Happy birthday, Mama.
- I grew up watching you be everyone’s strength. I just want to be that for you today. Rest, laugh, and be celebrated. You deserve it all and more.
- Some people have role models. I have you, Mum. You’ve taught me what it means to love, lead, and live with grace. I hope this year is good to you.
- You’ve given me more than life — you’ve given me love, values, and wings. May this birthday be the start of your most joyful season yet.
- No matter how old I get, I’ll always need your prayers, hugs, and “Have you eaten?” calls. Happy birthday to my forever lifeline.
- I’ve seen you put everyone before yourself. Today, it’s your turn. May joy surround you, love overwhelm you, and peace find you. Happy birthday, Mummy.
- Thank you for fighting battles I never even knew existed, just to make my life easier. You’re a warrior in every sense of the word. I celebrate you today.
- Happy birthday to the woman who can make a house feel like home with just her presence. I hope today you feel as seen and celebrated as you’ve always made others feel.
- If I had a thousand tongues, I still couldn’t thank you enough. You’ve been my shield, my teacher, my comforter. May life be kind to you this year and always. Happy birthday!
- Your love has healed, guided, and uplifted me. I carry your strength like armour. Wishing you a birthday as amazing as the life you’ve lived so far.
ALSO READ: 150+ Birthday Wishes for Myself

Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Nigerian mums are unintentionally hilarious, so it’s only right we return the energy by giving them something to laugh about too.

Chuka, 26, says, “I wrote my mum a funny birthday message last year. It was so satisfying to hear her laugh.”

If your mum enjoys a good joke, these funny birthday wishes will definitely put a smile on her face.
- On your birthday, Mum, I just want to remind you that you’re amazing, irreplaceable, and 100% responsible for how dramatic I turned out.
- Mum, thanks for always being the drama queen of the house. Your birthday is the perfect excuse to act extra. Enjoy it!
- Happy birthday to the woman who gave me life, and plenty of embarrassing baby pictures!
- Mummy, you’re aging like fine wine — even though you don’t drink — and only getting better every year!
- Happy birthday, mum! You’re the only person who makes multitasking look easy.
- Thanks for always being my biggest fan, even though I’m not that cool. Happy birthday, mum!
- Happy birthday! You’re the queen of our family and the doctor of the house.
- Wishing the happiest birthday to the mum who does it all – and still has time to look fabulous.
- Happy birthday, my melanin queen. Thank you for the good genes.
- I’m pretty sure I’m the favourite child, but since it’s your special day, I won’t put you on the spot! Happy birthday, mum!
- Happy birthday to the one who’s seen me at my best and my worst! Thanks for enduring plenty of “worst” days.
- Whenever someone asks me how I turned out so gorgeous, I tell them, “I got it from my mama!” Happy birthday to the most fabulous woman I know.
- You gave birth to the greatest gift you’ll ever receive. Me! Happy birthday, mum!
- Happy birthday, Mummy. With all my drama as a teenager, it’s a miracle I didn’t send you to an early grave!
- I know this card will end up in your drawer along with every other birthday card, Mother’s Day card, and scrap of paper I ever scribbled on. I love you for that.
- I got you the best gift you could possibly receive: me! Happy birthday, mum.
- You deserve the world, mum. Unfortunately, that wasn’t in the budget this year, so you must settle for this card.
- I know you probably don’t know what a “baddie” is, but I’ve seen the pictures of you from the ‘80s up until this very day. Trust me, you’re a true baddie!
- Happy birthday to my dear mother. Thanks for never leaving me in the market and running away. I know it must’ve been tempting at times.
- I was trying to think of funny birthday wishes to send you, but I couldn’t come up with anything. Just pretend I wrote something hilarious. Happy birthday, mum!
ALSO READ: 150+ Perfect Birthday Wishes to Make Your Wife Feel Loved

Birthday Prayers for Your Mum

Birthday prayers for your mum are a simple but powerful way to give back a little of the love your mum has always shown.

As Nike, 51, puts it: “I don’t ask for much, but when my children pray for me, I feel fulfilled. My spirit prays for them too.”

These prayers will help you say what truly matters to her.
- Mum, may this new year bring you peace, happiness, and everything your heart desires. You deserve nothing less.
- May the Lord continue to strengthen you, Mummy. I pray this new year brings you peace that surpasses all understanding, joy that never runs dry, and rest from every battle you’ve fought for us.
- God, thank you for blessing me with a mother like this. May her days be long, her health be strong, and her heart be light with laughter.
- Mummy, as you’ve watered others with your love, advice, and prayers, may God water you richly this year. You deserve the very best, and I pray heaven delivers it.
- May Allah (SWT) bless you with good health, long life, and continued joy. Happy birthday, dearest mum.
- As you celebrate another year, may God’s grace surround you like a shield and His love uplift your spirit.
- Momsi, I pray that this year brings new beginnings and answers to the silent prayers of your heart.
- May your new age bring abundant rizq, barakah in all you do, and unshakable peace. Ameen.
- Heavenly Father, thank You for my mother’s life. May you continue to protect her, bless her, and reward her sacrifices.
- Ya Allah, grant my mum strength in her body, peace in her home, and light in her heart. Make her life easy and beautiful, Ameen.
- Happy birthday to the one who taught me to be strong and kind. May you always be surrounded by people and things that bring you joy.
- May God continue to crown you with honour, robe you in peace, and saturate your life with divine favour.
- Mummy, I ask Allah to elevate you in rank, forgive your shortcomings, and make your path smooth in both worlds.
- This year, may every day bring new blessings, answered prayers, and moments that make your heart full.
- You’ve spent your life lighting the way for others. Now may life bring you light, warmth, and direction in return.
- Heavenly Father, bless my mother richly. May her heart never grow weary, and her days never lack Your presence.
- May the Almighty continue to preserve you, provide for you, and protect you in ways only He can.
- Today and always, may your soul be nourished with gratitude, your body filled with health, and your life surrounded by love.
- O Allah, just as my mum has always been a source of comfort and mercy to others, let her always find comfort and mercy in You. Ameen.
- May joy be your portion, love be your inheritance, and peace follow you into every new chapter.
- Lord, thank You for the gift of my mother. Let her years be long, her burdens be light, and her heart forever hopeful.
READ NEXT: 100+ Birthday Prayers and Blessings for Yourself and Those You Love

[ad]
They say that one of the strongest things in the world is the prayer of a mother. However, there are some things greater. Here are nine things the prayer of a mother can’t stop.

1) The wickedness of an Igbo woman

Come rain, come sun, an Igbo woman will always be wicked. If your mother likes, she should have God’s direct phone number, this phenomenon will never stop. You just have to learn to embrace it.

2) Surge

There are two things that you are 100% sure will happen. The first is that Nigeria will think of a new way to frustrate you, and the second is that there will be a surge when you want to order a ride. Mothers should not even bother praying for the surge to stop because it is one of the many principalities and powers we can never win against.

3) The rise of dollar

It seems as if whatever powers are working to keep the dollar rate very high is winning this spiritual battle against prayerful mothers. Every two to three business days there’s some increase in the exchange rate. At this point, maybe there is a sacrifice we are to make so it will stop.

4) The lies of a Yoruba man

Your mother might be praying for you in her house, but that Femi is on the phone whispering lies into your ear. Maybe it’s because mother’s are not specific enough with their prayers? Maybe next time they should call the men’s names and PRAY.

5) Lekki floods

Maybe because the marine spirits in Lekki are stronger than our mother’s prayers, that’s why. So long as rain falls, Lekki will flood. Why? Because praying mothers will not create a functional drainage system.

6) Lagos traffic

Another principality that praying mothers can never end is Lagos traffic. In fact, it seems as though some of them have their prayer sessions while stuck in traffic.

7) Getting your heart broken

All of us will chop this breakfast of heart break together, and nothing will stop it. No matter how many prayers are uttered on your behalf, your heart will be broken. The only thing your mother’s prayers can do is either delay it or soften the blow.

8) Zikoko’s amazing content

Nothing on this Earth we all inhabit can stop Zikoko from giving you the best content. From our accurate quizzes to out stories of money, relationships, life as a woman, leaving Nigeria, navigating Nigeria, what it’s like being a man, and what is really inside this life. We will make you laugh, cry, and go “God when”, and nothing can stop us. Not even our CEO.

9) IJGBs

Nothing can stop IJGBs from coming back. Even in 2020 with Corona virus, they came back. What makes you then think that mother’s prayers can stop them? All you can do is just prepare yourself for their inevitable return.
Most young people want their parents to be proud of them, a lot of us appreciate validation when it comes from the people we love the most and look up to. For this piece, we asked a few young people to share different reasons why their parents are not proud of them.

Toun, 20

Image used for descriptive purpose.

I am the only child of a first son and I always feel like I am not doing enough. My parents don’t voice that they aren’t proud of me, but I know. My parents don’t know me and it feels like I am constantly hiding around them. They think I’m a straight Christian and that’s the part of me they like. It’s obvious that my parents are proud of the side of me that gets promoted at work and gets good grades, but they disregard the side of me that’s living with depression, anxiety and is gay.

I live in fear because I am always hiding even when I want them to see every side of me and be proud of me regardless I don’t know how long I am going to hide the side they are not happy with. It’s worse that I can’t talk to them about what I am going through because they’ll make it about themselves and not me.

Habibah, 25

I’ll share 2 instances.

I don’t have a 9-5 yet, so I run a business. My Mum doesn’t like that I run a business instead of working a 9-5, but I do it because I don’t want to be idle. She has also mentioned learning a skill, but I’m not interested in any of those things. She doesn’t hesitate to shade me with this from time to time about my unemployment. I’m trying to learn some non-coding ways of getting into tech.

One time, we were on our way to see my other Grandpa and she asked “What will I say you are doing if he asks what you’ve been up to since you graduated?”. I was shocked by her question because I don’t know if my business is a joke to her.

Another one, she went with her friend to her daughter’s convocation. She got back and didn’t stop talking about how the girl made her Mum proud and how their whole family attended. She said she was so impressed. Then she concluded it by saying I probably didn’t go for mine because I graduated with very bad grades.

PS: I didn’t attend my convocation because I was in Lagos then. I thought that it was unnecessary to travel to my school which was outside Lagos.

Jumoke, 25

My dad was very abusive to all of us and I got the brunt of the abuse. I was a very curious child and my dad hated it. I am plus size and it was obvious my dad hated that too. He’d go out with my brothers and show them off, but I didn’t let that get to me.

My parents split up when I got into university and my father immediately disowned me. I studied law in university, hoping that it would help me get his attention he didn’t reach out all through my time in university and had finished law school by the time he reached out trying to mend our relationship.

I haven’t gotten the great job he hoped I’ll get right out of law school and it’s quite obvious he isn’t proud of who I am right now. My dad is a boastful person and I have not yet given him a reason to fully boast yet.

Sade

I have a strong personality and a pretty face so although I have A sized boobs with a small bum(flat chest and flat ass), I still get a ton of attention from guys. My mum has a problem with my body though, one would think it should be the opposite, but I get a lot of demeaning looks from her. She hates that I’m flat-chested and not tall.

She always points it out when we are visiting people or when she sees other girls my age with big or medium breasts and she has gone as far as suggesting I buy breast enlargement products. We ended up buying it for 50k and it didn’t work at all. I told her before that those things don’t work but she didn’t listen but I’m happy she did it and would finally let the breast enlargement products rest.

I’m still not insecure about my body because I get attention from both guys and girls. In fact, I tend to shy away from attention.

I’m my own source of strength and so it drains me when people try to project.
The subject of this week’s What She Said is an 18-year-old girl who says her mother hates her. She talks about the death of her father, and the abuse she’s had to endure at the hands of her mother and ex-boyfriend.

What’s your earliest memory of your childhood?

When I was two years old, I wasn’t able to eat regular food. I only ate pap, which had to be in a feeding bottle. My nursery school teacher at the time thought it was because my parents couldn’t feed me, so she fed me noodles. After eating, I vomited.

When my daddy came to pick me up, I told him and he stormed into the school and reported the teacher to the owner. I didn’t mean to put the teacher in trouble, but I told my dad everything.

You and your dad must be close.

Yeah, we were. He was my hero.

Was? What happened?

He passed away when he was 86. I was 16. One morning after he woke up and we bathed him, he went back to bed because he was weak. We sat by him and soon after, he passed.

I miss him so much. Before he died, when he was about 80 years old, he couldn’t eat by himself so he needed to be fed. I was the one who fed him. After he died, it became difficult for me to eat alone.

He protected me from my mum for as long as he could.

Read more stories like this by subscribing to our women’s newsletter

I’m so sorry for your loss. Why was he protecting you from your mum?

My parents had different ways of raising and disciplining children.

If I was disobedient, she would flog me with a cane or use a water hose. Around the time I turned 11, she switched to hot water and pepper.

She would put pepper in my eyes, vagina and hands. Sometimes she mixed the pepper with hot water. The older I grew, the worse it got.

I’m so sorry that happened.

When I was 16, there was this girl on our street who always changed her phone. One day, my mum asked her how she changed her phone so often because she lived with her aunt and not her parents. The girl said she has numerous boyfriends who bought her these phones.

After she left, my mom said, “is that not your mate that has men who give her money and buy phones for her. All you know how to do is sleep with boys for free.” And from that day on, the torment got worse. She started expecting me to foot bills in the house.

I couldn’t because I had just gotten into uni. I didn’t have a job or anything. It was around this time I met my 25-year-old ex-boyfriend. Our relationship was smooth for sometime until he met my family and problems started.

When you say family…

My mother and my younger sister. My step-siblings are older, so they don’t live with us. They’re the children from my father’s first marriage.

My younger sister outgrew my mother’s treatment and started siding with her to hurt me. They frustrated me so much.

My sister tried breaking my then boyfriend and I up. She messaged him on Facebook and told him she saw me sending nudes to my male best friend. It was all a lie, but he didn’t believe me. When I reported her to my mother, she told me to forget about it.

My ex stopped trusting me. He would monitor my chats, calls, outings, and my mother allowed it.

Don’t miss out on hot tea. Subscribe to the best newsletter for Nigerian women.

How?

I wasn’t allowed to have either male or female friends, and I was only allowed to go to his house. Anything he didn’t allow me to do that I did in the presence of my mum and sister, they’d tell him.

When the lockdown happened, I wanted him to end the relationship. He used to say horrible stuff to me. I was so tired. I kept cheating, but he wouldn’t leave.

My mother’s friend told her that he’s the only one that can control me, so the relationship can’t end. My mother told me I wasn’t allowed to end it.

There was a time he even flogged me with a cane.

He did what?

One time at home, he insulted my mother because of an incident with a missing card. When he left, I called him and insulted him as well.

The next day, he came to my house with four canes, left them in the garage of our house and came to meet me in my room. He told me to repeat what I said on the phone.

I knew he was angry, and I felt trapped. When I tried to leave, he pushed me and my phone fell. When I tried to pick up my phone, he started dragging it with me, then he slapped me, so I slapped him back. He went to the garage to bring the canes.

He flogged my back where my mum had given me a spinal injury before, so I was in so much pain. I’m also asthmatic. I fell down and was crying, but he just kept flogging me.

Was there nobody at home? Did nobody help you?

Initially, when he came, he met my sister and she saw the canes in his hand. He told her to call my mum, and she went. She told my mum, who was at her friend’s house, that he came with canes, but my mum didn’t take her seriously.

After he finished flogging me, he felt bad and went to call my mum from her friend’s house. She saw the cane in his hand, but didn’t know he had already flogged me.

When she came to the house, heard me screaming and ran to meet me. She boiled hot water to help me massage my wounds.

That evening, he started begging me. He said he didn’t know why he did it, and he was sorry. My mum talked to him and told him to go home.

A couple of days later, my mum told me I had to continue the relationship. That I shouldn’t take life too seriously. When I threatened to report the boy to the police, she said she’d disown me.

That must have been so traumatising. How were you able to cope with the lockdown?

It was terrible. When the lockdown intensified, my mum made me stop eating at home because I wasn’t dropping money for food. So, I would wake up in the morning and go to my friend’s house next door. We would work out, cook and eat. She fed me for about three months. Then, my ex complained I spent too much time there, so I wasn’t allowed to go there anymore.

When I couldn’t take it anymore, I started using my dad’s money.

Read more stories like this by subscribing to our women’s newsletter

Your dad left money for you?

Before he died, he linked my sim card to his bank account so I could withdraw money when I needed it. I’d just transfer from his account to mine. The money was about ₦200,000 .

I started using some of the money to invest, but I wasn’t really great at it, so I kept losing money. Eventually, all of the money finished.

My mother was a signatory to the account, and one day she went to the bank and noticed that the money was gone.

By this time, the lockdown had eased so I went back to school in Ibadan. She tried calling me, but I blocked her number. She told my ex to tell me to return the money. My school fees were also due, so I was looking for about ₦300,000.

Doesn’t she pay your school fees?

No, she doesn’t. I’m basically sponsoring myself through school. I reach out to people and if they can, they help me out. If they can’t, I figure it out.

She still expects me to send money home for them to take care of some of their bills. She thinks I’m a prostitute.

My sister sent me a message a while ago, that they need a new freezer and she wants to register for GCSE and WAEC so she needs money.

This must be so much for you to deal with.

It’s a lot. At a point, I wanted to kill myself because of all of the stress. I developed high blood pressure, and I have headaches that never go away no matter how many painkillers I take.

With my school schedule now, I can’t work. The days I ask around and nobody has money to spare for me to get food, I just drink water and sleep.

My dad’s pension comes every month, but it’s not enough because I’m in my final year in a Polytechnic. I need money for my project. If the money for this month gets paid, it’ll finish that day.

If I’m not fast enough and my mother takes the cheque book to the bank to withdraw the money, I’d have to wait till next month.

Have you tried asking your step-siblings for help?

I did in 2019, and they said they weren’t banks. I never asked them for money again.

Do you think there’s a reason your mum does all of this?

When my sister was born, we had a maid that used to live with us. My mother believes that the maid was a witch who initiated us.

How do you feel about your mum?

She gave birth to me, so I don’t think I can hate her, no matter what she’s done.

For more stories like this, check out our #WhatSheSaid and for more women like content, click here

Don’t miss out on hot tea. Subscribe to the best newsletter for Nigerian women.

[donation]
The subject of this week’s What She Said is a 26-year-old Nigerian woman. She talks about the trauma she faced growing up with her mum, her dad leaving and how therapy improved her relationship with her mum.

Tell me about your earliest memory.

Growing up, I was very stubborn. I used to get into a lot of trouble, and my mum would beat me. There was a phase I was convinced she hated me. I used to ask if she was really my mother.

Does any incident come to mind?

I wouldn’t do my chores, so I would chop beating for that. If she asked me to do anything, I wouldn’t do it. I don’t remember my siblings getting beaten as much as I was.

Tell me about a striking memory of your mum.

I remember three distinct memories. When I was in primary school, I was smart. First to third — that was usually my position. There was one term I came tenth; my mother wanted to kill me. We lived in a face-me-I-face-you compound. She pursued me around it. I had to run for cover to my neighbour’s because she was going to beat the living daylight out of me.

Omo.

Another memory was in secondary school. After school, I would wait with my friend for her parent’s car to come pick her; meanwhile, I’d take a bus home. School closed at 3 p.m., and I would wait till 6 p.m., so I usually got home late. My mother would warn me, but I ignored her. One day, she got home before me. When I did, the beating no get part two.

The last memory I have is traumatic for me. I think I’ve forgiven her now. When I was 13, my landlady’s son had an older friend or family living with them. I and the guy were close. It was nothing sexual, and I know that a lot of adults cannot fathom when the opposite sexes are chummy with each other — for good reason, with all sexual assault stories we hear. Anyway, someone told my mum that I said I wanted to have sex with him. According to this person, I said: “I’m going to be 13 soon, so he can disvirgin me.”

She believed this person over me. At night, she came to room and asked me if I planned to be anything in life. She said other mean things. It affected our relationship and how I saw her.

I’m sorry you experienced this.

It’s funny because I didn’t even have sex till I was 25.

What’s something that changes when you feel like you can’t trust your mum?

Our relationship was fraught. Since she didn’t trust me or believe me, I couldn’t confide in her. I confided in my sister or dad instead. My dad didn’t live with us — she did — so you’d expect she would know all my shit. But she didn’t have any idea, and it was largely because of that.

Where was your dad?

He was with his other family.

Oh?

He had two wives, and he lived with the other wife and kids. My mum is the second wife but she had the first child so she’s regarded as the first. My dad was really desperate for kids. People say the other wife jazzed him because he decided to stay with her. He used to visit occasionally.

I— Tell me about your relationship with your sister.

Haha. We used to fight a lot, but we were close. I’m outspoken and she’s calm. It made other people think I was rude. Though she’s secretive, we share things. I told her when I had sex for the first time. She knew when I had a sugar daddy. She knows everything about me.

A particular memory is when I was a teenager, there was an older guy asking her to meet him in a funny place. She was going to go, and I followed her and stayed around.

Love it. Walk me through how you landed a sugar daddy. I’m asking for a friend.

In 2015 my friend, who was a runs girl, introduced me, but it never really took off because I was not sexually active. He literally just kissed me out of the blue and I was like huh? Last year, he reached out again, and I told him his actions were rapey. He apologised and we hung out. People get cars and houses from their sugar runs, but I got mostly change.

How did your relationship with your mum affect you?

I only saw her as a provider. I loved her because she was my mum and she got me things.

How is your relationship with your mum now?

It’s better. I had to get therapy in 2018 because there was a period I resented her — everything she did irritated me. I see her as a person now. I’m more open with her though I didn’t tell her when I started having sex because I was trying to protect my good girl image that she had. We’re consciously building our relationship.

When you say we, did she get therapy too?

No. But she was willing to admit she’s not infallible. I berated her for a lot of the mistakes that she made, especially with my dad. We also have a lot of conversations. I was going to organise therapy for my mum, but she doesn’t believe in it. “I go just sidon dey tell person my life? I no fit.”

How did you decide on therapy?

I was working in a coaching organisation and I had free access to therapists. I’d used therapy for other issues and decided to try it with this.

Tell me your happiest memory of your dad.

I don’t remember. When I got older — 17 — we started fighting a lot because I realised his shortcomings. It wasn’t just my mum with issues; he had his faults too. He died when in 2015. Now that I think about it, I may have daddy issues.

Navigating life as a woman in the world today is interesting. From Nigeria to Timbuktu, it’ll amaze you how similar all our experiences are. Every Wednesday, women the world over will share their experiences on everything from sex to politics right here.
1. The eba stick that doubles as a weapon:

Your mother’s favourite.
2. The iron sponge that is always on the brink of death:

Your only friend when washing that evil pot.
3. The Nylon bag full of even more nylon bags:

For what? Only God knows.
4. The only seasoning that matters:

More important than water sef.
5. The bowl every visitor uses to wash their hand before they eat:

Because God forbid they enter the kitchen to wash their hands.
6. The almighty microwave cover:

Nigerian mothers swore it would prevent cancer.
7. That bowl with a wedding or burial sticker:

If not for Owambes would Nigerians even have kitchen utensils?
8. That handle-less pot that is “older than you”:

You mother had the pot before she had you. Show it respect.
9. The eva bottle filled with palm oil:

The realest oil ever made.
10. The infinite number of unwashable plastic containers:

That stain will NEVER go out.
11. Those plastic covers with their matching bowls nowhere in sight:

Always more covers than actual bowls.
12. The blender that smells like pepper no matter how much you wash it:

Can even try and blend anything else without tasting pepper.
13. The morning fresh that is more water than actual morning fresh:

It always lasts longer than it has any right to.
14. The ice-cream bowl full of disappointment:

It will never not hurt,
15. The “there is rice at home” bag of rice:

How rice is not on the Nigerian flag is beyond us.
1. When you have a baby, ALL your relatives will want to give the child their own official name.

How many names do you want my child to have? Please go away.
2. Having kids means you now have little versions of you that you can send on pointless errands whenever you feel like.

“Segun! Come from upstairs and give me this remote that is two inches away from my hand.”
3. When your child gives you attitude so you have no choice but to whoop their ass.

As a father, channel your inner Jackie Chan. As a mother, channel your inner Charlie’s Angel.
4. But deep down it hurts you to see your child in pain but you know that if you spare the rod, you’ll spoil the child.

My chest.
5. This is you when you find out how much school fees are these days.

HAAAAY!
6. But you want the best for child so you still pay.

Everything I do is for you, my child.
7. When your child does well in school you’ll be like

YAAASS! THAT IS THE SEED OF MY LOINS!!!!
8. This will be you if you find out that your child refuses to learn anything and is failing terribly.

What is happening???
9. When your child becomes a teenager and starts raising shoulder for you.

See this one sha oh.
10. You will be happy to see your child now making friends and learning how to navigate life on their own.

My work is almost done.
11. But then you worry that they might join bad gang.

God pls no.
12. You will also worry that they are now doing “bad thing” so you’ll tell them this.

Also, tell them if they have sex, they’ll die.
Truth is, being a parent has a lot of ups and downs. Just look at this video

If you enjoyed this, read this next article about the Nigerian parent’s guide to sex education.

The Nigerian Parent’s Guide To ‘Sex Education’
1. So it’s Sunday morning, and instead of allowing you rest your mother has started her wahala!

2. First, she starts singing praise and worship off key, because she is a professional alarm clock.

3. While you’re still finding your bearings she starts shouting about church.

4. This is her face, when you say you’re not going.

5. This is you, by the time she has finished “advising” you to follow her.

6. When you’re ready and she starts attacking your clothes.

7. Meanwhile, you’ve noticed she’s still not ready oh!

8. Then you go and change and you are all waiting for her like:

9. When she’s ready and then starts acting like you have been wasting her time.
1. If a boy stands next to you, or holds your hands nothing major will happen.

2. There is a time of the month it’s easier to get pregnant, when you’re ovulating.

3. Have you ever heard “just the tip” before? It’s a scam and don’t try it.

4. What you decide to do with your body, especially sex, is primarily your decision, not anyone else’s.

5. It’s okay if you decide to be abstinent, but you still need to learn about contraception and your body.

6. Lying about your sexual activity to your doctor doesn’t help anybody, especially you.

7. There are many, many Sexually Transmitted Diseases and Sexually Transmitted Infections you need to learn about.

8. Having period irregularities is quite common, just make sure you go to see a doctor.

9. Sexual urges are very normal, and mean you are extremely healthy.

To get a lot more information about sex and sexual health, there is an amazing new app called “Frisky” to help you make better-informed decisions.

It’s easy and simple to use, with the added advantage of protecting your privacy if you’re a bit shy when it comes to speaking about these issues. You can download the app here!
1. When she wants to know all your friends and their family members even now you’re an adult.

2. When she keeps trying to see who you’re texting.

3. When she is still trying to police your clothes and hair.

4. When she tries to use morning devotion to find out what you’re doing under the guise of “praying for you”.

5. When you come home and meet her gisting and carrying on with your friends.

6. When she starts trying to act like a therapist for you and your partner.

7. When she enters your room and just starts opening cupboards and drawers.

8. When she starts fighting you for not “talking” enough even though you talk to her everyday.

Table of contents

Short Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail

Long Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Touching Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Funny Birthday Wishes for Your Mum

Birthday Prayers for Your Mum

1) The wickedness of an Igbo woman

2) Surge

3) The rise of dollar

4) The lies of a Yoruba man

5) Lekki floods

6) Lagos traffic

7) Getting your heart broken

8) Zikoko’s amazing content

9) IJGBs

Toun, 20

Habibah, 25

Jumoke, 25

Sade

What’s your earliest memory of your childhood?

You and your dad must be close.

Was? What happened?

I’m so sorry for your loss. Why was he protecting you from your mum?

I’m so sorry that happened.

When you say family…

How?

He did what?

Was there nobody at home? Did nobody help you?

That must have been so traumatising. How were you able to cope with the lockdown?

Your dad left money for you?

Doesn’t she pay your school fees?

This must be so much for you to deal with.

Have you tried asking your step-siblings for help?

Do you think there’s a reason your mum does all of this?

How do you feel about your mum?

Tell me about your earliest memory.

Does any incident come to mind?

Tell me about a striking memory of your mum.

Omo.

I’m sorry you experienced this.

What’s something that changes when you feel like you can’t trust your mum?

Where was your dad?

Oh?

I— Tell me about your relationship with your sister.

Love it. Walk me through how you landed a sugar daddy. I’m asking for a friend.

How did your relationship with your mum affect you?

How is your relationship with your mum now?

When you say we, did she get therapy too?

How did you decide on therapy?

Tell me your happiest memory of your dad.

1. The eba stick that doubles as a weapon:

2. The iron sponge that is always on the brink of death:

3. The Nylon bag full of even more nylon bags:

4. The only seasoning that matters:

5. The bowl every visitor uses to wash their hand before they eat:

6. The almighty microwave cover:

7. That bowl with a wedding or burial sticker:

8. That handle-less pot that is “older than you”:

9. The eva bottle filled with palm oil:

10. The infinite number of unwashable plastic containers:

11. Those plastic covers with their matching bowls nowhere in sight:

12. The blender that smells like pepper no matter how much you wash it:

13. The morning fresh that is more water than actual morning fresh:

14. The ice-cream bowl full of disappointment:

15. The “there is rice at home” bag of rice:

1. When you have a baby, ALL your relatives will want to give the child their own official name.

2. Having kids means you now have little versions of you that you can send on pointless errands whenever you feel like.

3. When your child gives you attitude so you have no choice but to whoop their ass.

4. But deep down it hurts you to see your child in pain but you know that if you spare the rod, you’ll spoil the child.

5. This is you when you find out how much school fees are these days.

6. But you want the best for child so you still pay.

7. When your child does well in school you’ll be like

8. This will be you if you find out that your child refuses to learn anything and is failing terribly.

9. When your child becomes a teenager and starts raising shoulder for you.

10. You will be happy to see your child now making friends and learning how to navigate life on their own.

11. But then you worry that they might join bad gang.

12. You will also worry that they are now doing “bad thing” so you’ll tell them this.

Truth is, being a parent has a lot of ups and downs. Just look at this video

If you enjoyed this, read this next article about the Nigerian parent’s guide to sex education.