Ask Aunty Z!: Being A Partner, You Learn On The Job

November 21, 2021

Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now

Today, Aunty Z! talks about loaning money to people you just started talking to, distant friendships, and how to be a girlfriend. 

Dear Aunty Z!

Why is this person I’m talking with asking me to loan him 25k just a few weeks after we started talking? Should we still continue talking or I should ghost his ass?

George, 21

DEAR GEORGE,

Based on what you’re telling me, it doesn’t seem like both of you are close enough for him to demand that kind of favour. 25k? In this economy? Does he think you manufacture sardine?

That said, I don’t think it’s enough to stop talking to him completely. You might not be comfortable with it, but you may also have been his last resort. Just tell him you can’t lend him the money and keep it pushing. His reaction can tell you whether or not to, as you say, ghost his ass. Does he act up? Insult you? Ice you out? If he does any of these things, it’s time to become Casper. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Dear Aunty Z!,

So my best friend just complained that our relationship has been really distant lately and I’ve been keeping things from her. I didn’t really understand because I thought things with us were really cool. My question now is, how can I be as open with her as she wants? She’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose her.

Uwa, 22

DEAR UWA,

Sometimes, people demand more in relationships. You may have been satisfied with where you were, but she wasn’t. That doesn’t mean things weren’t cool, it just means that she wants more. Garri wey John go finish fit no belle full Paul. 

The only person that can answer your question is your best friend. Your language of giving and your best friend’s language of receiving might be two different languages. You have to communicate with her and figure out what she wants and how she wants it. If not, you might just end up doing something she might not appreciate. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Dear Aunty Z!, 

There is a guy I like, and he likes me back. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I want to say yes but I don’t know anything about being in a relationship. I am scared I might just bore him out of whatever he feels.

Lota, 25

DEAR LOTA,

Being a partner is one of the few jobs where you don’t need experience. You learn on the job. Quite frankly, you liking him and him liking you back is all that’s needed to start. 

You’re scared of boring him and I think that’s unfair to you and to him. You clearly enjoy being with each other. Choosing to be partners should not put an end to that. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Just enjoy all of it.

Also, if this is the only reason you’re holding back, please say yes. Always communicate with your partner and share ways you can love each other better. Of course, let me know how it’s going. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

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