Ask Aunty Z!: Being A Partner, You Learn On The Job

November 21, 2021

Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now

Today, Aunty Z! talks about loaning money to people you just started talking to, distant friendships, and how to be a girlfriend. 

Dear Aunty Z!

Why is this person I’m talking with asking me to loan him 25k just a few weeks after we started talking? Should we still continue talking or I should ghost his ass?

George, 21


Based on what you’re telling me, it doesn’t seem like both of you are close enough for him to demand that kind of favour. 25k? In this economy? Does he think you manufacture sardine?

That said, I don’t think it’s enough to stop talking to him completely. You might not be comfortable with it, but you may also have been his last resort. Just tell him you can’t lend him the money and keep it pushing. His reaction can tell you whether or not to, as you say, ghost his ass. Does he act up? Insult you? Ice you out? If he does any of these things, it’s time to become Casper. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Dear Aunty Z!,

So my best friend just complained that our relationship has been really distant lately and I’ve been keeping things from her. I didn’t really understand because I thought things with us were really cool. My question now is, how can I be as open with her as she wants? She’s my best friend and I don’t want to lose her.

Uwa, 22


Sometimes, people demand more in relationships. You may have been satisfied with where you were, but she wasn’t. That doesn’t mean things weren’t cool, it just means that she wants more. Garri wey John go finish fit no belle full Paul. 

The only person that can answer your question is your best friend. Your language of giving and your best friend’s language of receiving might be two different languages. You have to communicate with her and figure out what she wants and how she wants it. If not, you might just end up doing something she might not appreciate. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Dear Aunty Z!, 

There is a guy I like, and he likes me back. He asked me to be his girlfriend, I want to say yes but I don’t know anything about being in a relationship. I am scared I might just bore him out of whatever he feels.

Lota, 25


Being a partner is one of the few jobs where you don’t need experience. You learn on the job. Quite frankly, you liking him and him liking you back is all that’s needed to start. 

You’re scared of boring him and I think that’s unfair to you and to him. You clearly enjoy being with each other. Choosing to be partners should not put an end to that. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Just enjoy all of it.

Also, if this is the only reason you’re holding back, please say yes. Always communicate with your partner and share ways you can love each other better. Of course, let me know how it’s going. 

Love, Aunty Z!

Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

July 7, 2021

Things get boring in relationships, and if they stay that way for too long, the relationship is in danger of falling apart. We don’t want your relationship to fall apart, so we’re recommending that you and your partner recreate these 15 images. Please tag us when you post your pictures. Don’t let us miss out […]


Now on Zikoko

December 7, 2021

Selected entries to receive exclusive Masterclass with TY Bello and George Okoro Days after innovative Smartphone manufacturer Infinix Mobility launched its Zero X Pro device in Nigeria, the tech giant today announces the start of its #ZeroXChallenge. The Zero X Challenge is an initiative to inspire boundless creativity among Nigerians and empower the youth to […]

December 7, 2021

MTN Nigeria recently announced the price of its initial public offering to retail investors.The offer which opened at 8:00am on the 1st of December 2021 will close at 5:00pm on the 14th of December 2021 with a minimum subscription of 20 shares and lots of 20 shares thereafter. At the retail offer roadshow in Enugu […]

Recommended Quizzes

April 3, 2020

While the rest of the world loves to treat our continent like a country, there are actually 54 African countries. So, in a bid to test your knowledge (and educate you), we’ve created a quiz to see how many of their capitals you can correctly name. Go ahead:

November 1, 2019

Twitter is buzzing right now, bringing a new conversation to the concept of cool vs not-so-cool, especially in relationships. If you’ve been thinking about how much of a red flag you are, why don’t you let this quiz help you decide once and for all?

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 22, 2019

It can be very stressful when you’re trying to find the love of your life, but you only keep meeting people that are exactly like your yeye ex. To help you be more aware of that problem, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know the kind of people you are attracting. Take it to […]

March 24, 2020

While we know that a lot of the best Nigerian artists deservedly have fans across generations, that won’t stop us from attempting to guess how old you are based on your taste in Nigerian music. So, take this quiz to see if we got it right:

November 11, 2019

Everyone has something to say about what kind of person they are. But how well do we truthfully evaluate these things? Not that much, I can assure you. The average person is always lying to themselves to make sure they look good. But you know what and who doesn’t lie? Zikoko quizzes that’s what. Take […]

More from Ships

November 20, 2021

The subject of today’s sex life is a 19-year-old lesbian who has had sex with over 200 people. She talks about starting her BDSM journey at 13 , experimenting in boarding school with ropes and canes, and finally slowing down because she found love.


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.