Aunty Z!: Be With People That Want What You Want

December 19, 2021

Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now

In this episode, Aunty Z! talks to a lady that plans on cheating and another one who doesn’t like the fact that her boyfriend is a swindler.

Dear Aunty Z! 

I just started having sex. It is penetrative sex with one guy but I don’t particularly like it. I do it just because it makes the guy I’m sleeping with feel happy. I’m not sure if I like him or just like the fact that he likes me. 

There’s this other guy I like and have been considering sleeping with, but I don’t want to get attached. I feel like I should explore more before settling into a relationship with my current fuck buddy. He isn’t open to an open relationship situation (pun intended). What should I do? Should I proceed to explore my sexuality behind his back? 

– Kaycee, 21, female

Dear Kaycee,

Regardless of the reason, dishonesty isn’t the best option. I encourage people to explore themselves sexually in a safe and healthy way. Safe meaning in a way that’ll minimize any of your contact with STDs or STIs. Healthy means in a way that doesn’t damage anyone’s mental health. 

Your fuck buddy has made it clear that you can’t with other people. So, leave it. I mean, the sex isn’t great and you’re not even sure you like him? What’s the point then? Find a partner that also would like to open up the sexual relationship. You get to explore and you might find someone you actually like. 

Go into the world and don’t forget to stay safe! Condoms and regular STD and STI testing is important. 

Take care of yourself.

-Aunty Z! 

Hi Aunty Z!, 

My boyfriend is a swindler. I love him but I don’t like what he does. I broke up with him because of that, and with an unspoken agreement, we are back together again. What should I do? I’m also a virgin and I don’t want to have sex before marriage. He wants it though. I mean, he’s been a celibate cause of me. What do I do too?

Purple, 23, female

Dear Purple, 

I love the name you chose. Purple is a very pretty colour. Now, I think this is a very clear case of being with someone who doesn’t want the same things as you. In your case, it’s prevalent in two parts. 

I believe that if there’s a part of your partner you dislike enough, it’ll lead to a break up. If you come back together and that thing is still present, it’ll lead to another break up. as long as your boyfriend is still a swindler and you don’t like people that swindle, then you’d never really be happy. 

Also, in the situation of virginity, one of both parties has to come to a major compromise. Either he continues being celibate, or you start having sex and you don’t sound like someone that wants to start having sex without being married first. 

I think both of you should call it quits and actually stay broken up this time. You clearly both want different things out of the relationship. I advise is that you find someone with similar values as you. 

-Love, Aunty Z!

Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

Zikoko Donation Banner

Help Zikoko keep making the content you love

More than ever, people are turning to Zikoko for stories that matter and content they love. But still, we, like many media organisations, are feeling the financial heat of these times. If you find us valuable, please make a contribution to help keep Zikoko zikoko-ing.

Thank you for your support.

We are also cool with Crypto.

Donation Close
Zikoko Logo

Complete Your Commitment

Donation confirm

Your Contribution is confirmed! Amount

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

June 1, 2021

Sometimes, when you finally accept your sexuality as a queer Nigerian, you may not know what to do. So, these six queer Nigerians give advice to newer queer people. Promise You don’t have to label yourself. Be patient with yourself, love yourself and know that whatever you are, you deserve love and acceptance. Doyin You […]

April 4, 2020

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 31-year-old heterosexual man who has slept with over 300 women. He talks about regretting the unbelievable number and the stories behind a lot of the encounters. What was your first sexual experience? I don’t know if this counts, but the maid used to make me sleep with […]

March 3, 2021

The dating scene Is a messy place and everyone has their spec. If you haven’t figured out what works for you, we’ve been generous enough to make a list. 1. People that have money  Money makes romance sweeter, to be honest. People will probably call you a gold-digger, but is it their gold you are […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

May 21, 2022

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old man who masturbated for the first time when he was 22. He talks about the transition from saving himself for marriage to just enjoying sex, and why he never considered masturbation till he started having sex.

Recommended Quizzes

January 2, 2020

Do you have even a single romantic bone in your body? Well, if you’re not sure about just how sweet and thoughtful you can be to someone you love, that’s what this quiz is here to answer. 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are Ready To Marry  Are you ready to marry? Take these quizzes.

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

November 7, 2019

These days, everyone is always talking about how much sex they’re getting, or how little sex they’re getting, or how disgusting sex is etc. There’s just so much talk about sex, it’s almost impossible to know who’s lying and who’s telling the truth. In anticipation of our new series about the sex lives of young […]

More from Ships

May 21, 2022

The subject of today’s Sex Life is a 27-year-old man who masturbated for the first time when he was 22. He talks about the transition from saving himself for marriage to just enjoying sex, and why he never considered masturbation till he started having sex.

May 17, 2022

Breadcrumbing is the unfair practice of giving just enough attention and affection to someone who cares about you to keep them interested. We rounded up a list of things to look out for in a potential love interest to avoid being breadcrumbed.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X