Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • Have you ever received relationship advice from or consulted your wise friends and family for counsel on matters of the heart? These Nigerians share how that went for them.

    Chude, 26

    I often asked a long-time friend out, but she declined because of my “player” reputation. At some point, I decided to let go and move on.

    I started dating a new girl, and I liked her. Four months into my new relationship, I got a text from my long-time friend asking if she could still be my girlfriend. I was amazed by the text, and my reaction got my best friend’s attention from where I was seated in the house.

    He already knew the story and how much I was invested in my new relationship, but he advised me to cheat on my girlfriend anyway. I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do, but I induced anyway.

    I started dating my longtime friend while I had a girlfriend. When my girlfriend found out I was cheating, she called it off immediately. Still getting high off my friend’s bad advice, I wasn’t bothered a bit, mainly because I had another girl I always wanted. Then, one day, eight months into the new relationship, my new babe said she wasn’t interested in “whatever we call it” again. She said I didn’t offend her, and I did nothing. She was done and over it. I wasn’t too pained until I saw this babe’s engagement photos on her WhatsApp status. She didn’t even block me from her line or WhatsApp. I was confused and sad af. Her carefree attitude left me broken for so long that I avoided women and started referencing that babe as the greatest “player”.

    Both babes are married now, and I wish I hadn’t hurt the first one who wanted to be with me.

    Adebimpe*, 26

    I’m seven months into a relationship with my boyfriend, who lost his job two months after we began dating. He took every test and interview, but nothing came up. The whole thing stressed him out, and he always complained about it until I grew tired.

    I mentioned his job issue to a mutual friend, who told me to focus on other men with money who wouldn’t slow me down. As my boyfriend’s frustration grew, I also grew tired of his nagging. I grew a little apart from him and slowly opened up to responding to DMs from some of the other guys I usually ignored. My man got a job now, but he also found out that I’ve been talking to other guys. I have explained several times that I wasn’t cheating on him and hadn’t gone out with anyone, but he’s so mad at me, and I love him.

    Isaac*, 33

    My family told me, “Marry with the little you have.”

    I wish I hadn’t taken the advice, but I was also eager to get married because I didn’t like prolonged relationships. That was a big mistake.

    Now, I’ve realised that marriages can’t survive without financial support. Money shouldn’t be the main focus, but it becomes the only focus if you don’t have it. No woman wants a broke man. I’m not proud to say this, but I’m lucky to have my wife because she’s a good survivalist.

    There’s been little financial change since we married two years ago, but I hope it improves. No one should take advice like this; it doesn’t work for everyone.

    Ayo, 28

    My ex-girlfriend and I had issues in 2017. We’d go like two days without talking, then I’d apologise, and we’d get back together. One time, I decided I wouldn’t apologise first. Days passed, and we didn’t speak, so I got worried and asked a female friend for advice.

    “All you need to do is make her jealous, and she’ll come around,” she said. So, my friend took it further (with my knowledge) and texted SubDeliveryMan, saying she had a crush on me. I stupidly commented that the “anon” person should DM me. My girlfriend saw the viral SDM tweet and sent it to me with a “What’s this???” question, and she was mad that I was flirting with other babes. I came clean and explained that I was just trying to make her jealous, but she wasn’t having it. She almost fought and publicly called out my friend.

    The situation irritated her a lot, and it ended our relationship. I thought I did something grand to fight for my love. But to be honest, after it ended, I realised what a big fool I was for descending that low to make my ex jealous and “rush” me. She dislikes my friend to this day.

    Onome*, 29

    When my ex first cheated on me in my last relationship, I thought I loved him so much, and I could change him. So, I didn’t dwell on it much and let the issue slide because of the advice from some friends that all men cheat, and every partner is just managing them and their relationships.

    The cheating hurt me, but I overlooked it despite my family’s advice to leave the guy. But I didn’t want to let go because of my age and the four years already spent in the relationship. Then, the second cheating situation, which made me end the relationship, happened. Another babe messaged me to tell me she was his “real” girlfriend and that I was wasting my time. I felt helpless and tired. But it was that relationship that radicalised me. Now, I don’t care how much I love you; I’d be ready to let you go if I catch any whiff of cheating. God forbid bad things again.

    My cousin told me that the wasted four years is better than a wasted forever, and that was all I needed to hear. I wish I hadn’t overlooked the cheating the first time, and I let him go asap. Just maybe it’d have been less humiliating than the way the breakup eventually happened.

  • If you’re here, then maybe you should leave that relationship

    Choose all that apply:

  • Love is sweet. Love is kind. Love will have you wanting to share your life with a total stranger. but finding that love isn’t the easiest thing, especially when you’re doing your search in Tinubu’s Lagos. 

    So, we made a list of all the things you’ll need if you want to find your missing rib in this state.

    A praying parent

    As you enter the Lagos dating scene, you need to remember that there are many people in the streets, but not all of them are looking for love. This is why you need to have at least one religious parent that finds pleasure in climbing mountains and praying for their child on standby, so they don’t make a fool of you. 

    Connections

    You need to know people, that know people, that know people. This way, it’s easier for you to find out if that person you had a little tryst with at South is a single pringle or if they’re very much attached and are getting married this December.

    A therapist 

    The dating scene in Lagos is enough to drive you to near lunacy, so to prevent nearly all the men and women in Lagos running you mad, we suggest you have a good therapist on speed dial. It might be expensive, but prevention is better than cure.

    Money

    You can find true, sweet love without money.But Davido did say, “When money enter, love is sweeter”, soget the bag and stack your coins first because love is expensive AF.

    A sponsorship deal

    We suggest you get one with a toilet paper or handkerchief company before you become an active participant in the Lagos dating scene, because you will probably kiss a couple frogs and cry a couple times in your search for love.

    Love

    You cannot look for something if you don’t know what it looks like.So firstl, you need to have people that love you at home.Then you need to love yourself. if not, the people on these Lagos streets will use your heart to play ball.

    Prescription glasses

    If there’s one thing that’s certain, married men would step to you regardless of your sexuality . You’ll need the glasses to spot their wedding band or the tan line left behind by the aforementioned wedding band.

    To truly find love in Lagos, you’ll also need to be outside. By that we mean you need to get your Burning Ram tickets, come eat more meat than you can handle and possibly meet the love of your life.

  • You might’ve done 2023 by yourself, but that doesn’t mean you have to repeat the cycle next year. We’ve told you how to get back with your ex, but just in case they aren’t the one for you, here’s a list of other people that might deserve your love.

    Your school parents 

    You spent all those years on the high school battlefield together, and they looked out for you. That simply means you already have years of experience in taking care of and loving each other, so what could possibly go wrong?

    Your friend with benefits 

    You’ve seen each other naked and unashamed; you’ve taken care of their needs, and they’ve taken care of yours. The love might not be there yet, but we believe with focus and determination, you and your casual link will become lovers.

    Your best friend 

    They’re your best friend; you love them, and they love you too. You both know everything about each other, and yet, there’s an undeniable tension when you’re in a room together. Do you need us to go on our knees before you realise they might be the one for you?

    Your neighbour 

    Have you seen how expensive it is to go from place to place these days? If you give your neighbour a chance, you won’t have to spend too much when you want to visit. Also, if you both fall in love and decide to move in together, you’ll just be moving next door.

    Your account manager 

    They handle your money, which means you trust them to some extent. If you can trust them with your money, you can definitely trust them with your heart.

    Family friend

    if you fall in love with a friend of the family, you won’t have to worry about if you’ll get along with their family or they’ll get along with yours. All you have to do is sit back and enjoy the love.

    Whoever decorates Ajose Adeogun for Zenith Bank

    Have you seen how gorgeous the place gets at night? Give that decorator a chance and watch them beautify your life beyond recognition.

  • Christmas is just around the corner, and  people are prepping their matching PJs and getting their photographers ready.  But for some reason, you can’t stomach the thought of moving into the festive season with your current partner. We see and understand you. We also know how you can end that relationship so you can prepare for your soulmate.

    Send “It’s over” veggies

    We would say send flowers, but the dollar is on a steady rise;so is the price of fuel. So send a bouquet of ugwu, carrots, and scent leaves to show your appreciation for the love you shared.

    It’s not me, it’s you

    Instead of taking all the blame for the downfall of your relationship, tell them the truth: you had a great time together, but you can no longer deal with their bad character. If you return to your house soaked with water, charge it to the game.

    “You deserve better.”

    If they ask why you think so, refer them to your bank account. That should do the trick.

    “I love okpa”

    It’s the low-budget moimoi that’s out to get you. If you can’t even love yourself and choose better, how do they expect you to love them?

    READ: 7 Types of People You Shouldn’t Date

    Give them the ick

    If all else fails, find whatever makes their skin crawl and act accordingly. Just don’t overdo it and end up  becoming the creepy ex.

    Japa

    Tell them you’re leaving the country and you don’t believe in long-distance relationships. If they try to make you stay, report them to your mother as the weapon fashioned against you.

    ALSO READ: 6 Ways To Break Up Without Hurting Your Feelings

    “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”

    Tell them you need a break because you want the love you share to grow and blossom like never before. If they don’t believe you, remind them that absence is supposed to make the heart grow fonder. 

    Disclaimer: These are stand-alone tips. If you use them together, anything your eyes see, take it.

    You might not have a boo for Burning Ram, but you’ll have all the eye candy and meat you desire.

  • The way the world is set up right now, there’s really no reason for anyone to leave their house. You can get food, groceries, and if you play your cards right, love can be delivered right to your doorstep. We know how.

    Join dating sites

    If you’re seriously looking for love, then spread your net wide and join all the available dating sites. That way, your love can come to you quickly.

    Get your loved ones to set you up

    Chances are the people in your life want you in a relationship more than you want it. Simply give them the go ahead and watch them work their magic to transform your relationship status to “taken”.

    Become active on your socials

    Have you seen all the “We met in the DMs” love stories? Get active on social media, sieve through your DMs and find the love of your life.

    Call for a service

    According to Hollywood, and sometimes Nollywood, all service men and women are hot. So consider ordering a box of pizza. Or get creative by starting a tiny fire in your house and wait for the firefighters to come in all their glory.

    Pray

    We suggest you go on your knees and beg whatever supreme being you believe in, so they can drag a lover to your front door with all your required specs.

    Go back to your ex

    If we’re being honest, there isn’t much left on the streets. It’s probably best you think long and hard, pick your best ex and tell them to act right this time.

    Position yourself 

    If your house has a balcony, we suggest you take strategic positioning to heart and man that station day and night. Hopefully, the one for you will see you and kickstart your happily ever after.

  • As we’ve seen lately, the possibility of your partner ruining your white by is higher than the levels of shege the Nigerian government has put us through. It can happen at any time, while you’re sitting on your own in your house or after you just got serenaded by THE Usher Raymond. We care about the whiteness of your clothes and your peace of mind, so here are a couple signs you need to look out for to avoid public disgrace and ridicule.

    Their favorite book is 48 laws of power 

    If you see the book anywhere near them, just run. Nothing good comes from reading that book.

    You’ve seen them move mad before

    If you’ve seen them move like they’ve been possessed before for no reason, it’s probably best to use the door and never come back. Just because, they’re yet to yell in your face, and act a fool, doesn’t mean your turn won’t come. 

    They think you take things too seriously 

    They’ll sneak diss you with their “jokes” and then start shouting, “I’m just playing” when you refuse to take the insult. 

    They say they are traditional 

    Nothing good has ever come from a person who uses the word “traditional“  to describe themselves. If they say traditional at least twice in a conversation, pack your load and flee.

    None of their exes have good things to say about them 

    We know relationships won’t always end amicably, but there’s no way every single one of their exes is out here saying they are nothing to write home about. Let’s be for real, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

    They don’t listen to anyone 

    They think they’re the best thing since jollof rice and have blocked their ears from listening to anyone reasonable.

    They are surrounded by yes men

     

    No one around them is willing to tell them the truth. They can say the sky is pink and every one in their friend group would concur with their lies.

    They think the opposite of logical is emotional 

    This simply means they are going to show you shege and gaslight you. You better run.

  • Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and all the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now. 

    In this episode, Aunty Z! has one thing to say and it’s “Leave him.” You’re too big, hello????? 

    Dear Aunty Z! 

    I’ve been in a relationship for more than a year. I’m still a virgin but I masturbate often. The problem is my boyfriend tried to rape me one time but he’s sorry about it. We make out but I’m so scared to have sex. He faults me sometimes and says I don’t like him as much as he likes me. I like him, but I’m scared and I think I would love to have sex when I feel safe in a relationship.

    -Frances, 23, female 

    Click here to send your relationship problems to Aunty Z!

    Dear Frances, 

    Leave him. He tried to rape you and it means he can try it again. Especially since he’s now trying to guilt trip you by talking about how much you don’t like him. 

    Sex is okay but I don’t think there’s anything in particular you’re missing  especially since you masturbate, so you’ve got the orgasm part covered. If your partner can’t respect the fact that you’re just not up to it, then they should be your ex partner. 

    -Love, Aunty Z! 

    Dear Aunty Z! 

    I met this guy online and we’ve been together for over a year. We were flowing through texts and calls. On his birthday, I managed to get a cake to his house through some thorough searches and still gave him a gift when we met physically. Almost a month later he asked that I be his girlfriend but called it off after 6 days. We still talk and act like we have a relationship, because he doesn’t want me with other guys and he says he likes me. 

    On my birthday, he didn’t call. He only sent a text like I begged for it, but I went all out on his birthday. All the times we’ve gone out, I foot the bills and I give him gifts but he never reciprocates. I always want to stop talking to him, but he always comes saying he’s sorry and doesn’t want me to leave him. I honestly don’t know what to do.

    -Princess, 21 

    Click here to send your relationship problems to Aunty Z!

    Dear Princess, 

    Leave him. He doesn’t want you to be with other guys but he doesn’t want to date you? He didn’t even call you on your birthday? He’s always begging but never showing changed behaviour? Baby, this man wants to be in a relationship and on the streets at the same time. Leave him on the streets. 

    Both of you want different things out of this, and I feel like he just wants to be able to have someone. One day you’d ask him why he doesn’t do certain things for you and he’d tell you “Am I your boyfriend?” and he’d be right, because he’s not. I don’t want you to get heartbroken or embarrassed. Tell him you don’t think it’ll work out, if he comes begging, air him. Let him find who can want what he wants. 


    –Love, Aunty Z!

    [shortcode]

  • Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now.

    In this episode, Aunty Z! gives advice to to a 23-year-old male virgin, and 19-year-old who is in a dilemma with a man twice her age. 

    Dear Aunty Z! 

    I’m 23 and I just want to get laid. I don’t want to have any relationships, just steamy hot fok every other day with someone’s daughter.

    All my guys think I’ve gotten laid, and I just want to get it over with and stop lying and spinning tales about one night stands that happened only in my head. How am I still a virgin at 23? How?

    -Ziggy, 23, male

    Click here to send Aunty Z! your relationship problems

    Dear Ziggy, 

    Being a virgin is not a terrible thing. Society has made it seem like men must have sex every day and that’s bullshit. It’s sex, not hot Amala – which I recommend for consumption every day. 

    However, I can understand how you feel. There’s the need to just get it over with, but that kind of pressure can lead to you not even enjoying yourself. 

    For hot fok to happen, Here are two options. First one is to actually find someone that’s interested in a friends with benefits relationship. There are many young women who just want to be tossed and turned like semo inside pot – no strings attached. The second option is to hire a sex worker if you gave the extra cash. They provide a service, you get your hot fok, and they get paid. It’s good for the economy. 

    –Best of luck, Aunty Z! 

    Dear Aunty Z!,

    Thank you to you and everyone who advised me. The man is actually is in 40s and he loves showing money off as he is super rich, I’m about to block him but the problem is he has sent me money and it would be like I’m running away so I think I’ll explain everything to him and ask him to send his account details then block him. My friend is the one who pushed me into this because she is enjoying the money and gifts, I’m so disappointed that I even entertained it in the first place, maybe it’s because I’m lonely.

    –Kella, 19 

    Click here to send Aunty Z! your relationship problems

    Dear Kella, 

    You’re absolutely welcome. It’s what I’m here for anyway. If giving him back the money will make you feel better, I’m all for it. Also, please don’t beat yourself up because you entertained his advances. Everyone likes to feel special once in a while especially if you’re constantly lonely. I know I do. 

    Now, this your friend that is introducing you to men twice your age because she wants to enjoy money and gifts, is her name Slickback? What kind of pimp behaviour is that? Abeg, it’s the new year. You can join scissors twitter and cut her off, or at least put a little distance. New friends will not only be good for you, but they’d help combat the loneliness you feel. Try making new friends online, in school, around your neighbourhood. Making friends is not as hard as people think. It’s consistency, proper communication, and a “Hi, my name is Kella and I think we’d be good friends”. 

    –Love, Aunty Z!

    Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

    [donation]

  • Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now. 

    In this episode, Aunty Z! gives advice to a woman whose boyfriend blames her for his premature ejaculation, and a 19-year-old who is being pursued by a man twice her age. 

    Hello Aunty Z!, 

    My boyfriend and I went to Ghana for the holidays and two weeks into our stay he started complaining of body pains. I went online to look for a masseur in Accra and I saw one that I liked. 

    After I spoke to the person on the phone I decided to text him on WhatsApp so we can discuss more. During our discussion, he asked for my picture saying he wanted to know who was booking the massage so I sent him one of my pictures then he sent me a picture of his dick. I know I was supposed to reprimand him, but I didn’t and that was it. I cancelled the massage session. 

    Five days later, he sent me a text when my boyfriend and I were lovey-dovey. The message was that he sent my pictures to one of his clients and the person liked me. He then proceeded to ask if I was available for hookup. When my boyfriend asked who was texting me, I lied. I said I didn’t know the person and that was it. 

    Yesterday, when my boyfriend and I had sex, he ejaculated early. He said I gave him an infection and that’s why he came early. I got angry and started shouting. He said he saw my messages where I booked an appointment, sent my pictures and the person sent me his dick pictures. He said I’ve slept with Ghana boys and now I’ve infected him. Aunty Z, I’ve been trying to prove my innocence and he doesn’t want to believe me. Please Aunty Z, does an infection cause quick ejaculation? P.S I don’t have an infection. 

    –Lily, 20 

    Click here to send Aunty Z! your relationship problems

    Dear Lily, 

    One thing I want you to understand is that the man who sent you his pictures without your consent, harassed you and I’m sorry that happened to you in the first place. 

    Now, as for the infection, if he’s so sure you gave him one, why don’t you both go to the hospital and get tests done? At least that way if someone actually does have an infection, you’d know what kind and can get medication for it. I genuinely think he’s ashamed of the fact that he came early and is trying to shift blame. Premature ejaculation happens, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

    In as much as I think a lot of this is not your fault. I also think you shouldn’t have lied to him in the first place. You should have let him know from the onset about the entire situation. If you had carried him along from the moment he asked who was texting, he wouldn’t have been too angry to see reason. 

    I hope this works out and he gets a solution to his premature ejaculation problem. He can try sexual enhancers. 

    –Love, Aunty Z!

    Dear Aunty Z!, 

    I met this man at a conference that I accompanied someone to and he collected my number from my friend who was with me. He texted me and we started talking, but he is older than me by like 20 years and he is married with kids, they don’t stay in the same city where he works and I live. We arranged a date and it was alright, we got to know each other better and he was direct and asked how I feel about polygamy. 

    I’m worried because he is married and I’m scared to enter polygamy and the age thing again. I’m only talking to him because no one is serious with me and he is like the only serious person.

    –Kella, 19

    Click here to send Aunty Z! your relationship problems

    Dear Kella, 

    You’re 19. As much as you’re an adult, there’s no reason why at your age, you should be with someone that much older. 20 years older than you means he’s 39. What exactly do the both of you have in common? 

    My love, I’ve been where you are. I had a terrible history of taking attention wherever I found it, and I found it a lot in the hands of older men. It hardly ever ends well, and I don’t want to see you hurt. 

    Also, is his wife aware that their marriage is polygamous? Would you really want a situation where you get “married” to him and his actual wife and his family members start bullying you? If he wants a second wife, he should find his age mates. 

    You’re too young to be stressed by things like this. There will be more serious people, and they’d be age-appropriate. Don’t entertain this man Kella. Just block him and move on with life. 

    -Love, Aunty Z! 

    Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

    [donation]