Aunty Z!: His Premature Ejaculation Is Not Your Fault

December 26, 2021

Navigating life and relationships can get quite hard and we sometimes need someone to talk to. Meet Aunty Z! She gets it, she’s all ears and she just wants to help. For issues in all your relationships; friendships, situationships, and the other ships, you’ve come to the right place. Aunty Z! will see you now. 

In this episode, Aunty Z! gives advice to a woman whose boyfriend blames her for his premature ejaculation, and a 19-year-old who is being pursued by a man twice her age. 

Hello Aunty Z!, 

My boyfriend and I went to Ghana for the holidays and two weeks into our stay he started complaining of body pains. I went online to look for a masseur in Accra and I saw one that I liked. 

After I spoke to the person on the phone I decided to text him on WhatsApp so we can discuss more. During our discussion, he asked for my picture saying he wanted to know who was booking the massage so I sent him one of my pictures then he sent me a picture of his dick. I know I was supposed to reprimand him, but I didn’t and that was it. I cancelled the massage session. 

Five days later, he sent me a text when my boyfriend and I were lovey-dovey. The message was that he sent my pictures to one of his clients and the person liked me. He then proceeded to ask if I was available for hookup. When my boyfriend asked who was texting me, I lied. I said I didn’t know the person and that was it. 

Yesterday, when my boyfriend and I had sex, he ejaculated early. He said I gave him an infection and that’s why he came early. I got angry and started shouting. He said he saw my messages where I booked an appointment, sent my pictures and the person sent me his dick pictures. He said I’ve slept with Ghana boys and now I’ve infected him. Aunty Z, I’ve been trying to prove my innocence and he doesn’t want to believe me. Please Aunty Z, does an infection cause quick ejaculation? P.S I don’t have an infection. 

Lily, 20 

Dear Lily, 

One thing I want you to understand is that the man who sent you his pictures without your consent, harassed you and I’m sorry that happened to you in the first place. 

Now, as for the infection, if he’s so sure you gave him one, why don’t you both go to the hospital and get tests done? At least that way if someone actually does have an infection, you’d know what kind and can get medication for it. I genuinely think he’s ashamed of the fact that he came early and is trying to shift blame. Premature ejaculation happens, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

In as much as I think a lot of this is not your fault. I also think you shouldn’t have lied to him in the first place. You should have let him know from the onset about the entire situation. If you had carried him along from the moment he asked who was texting, he wouldn’t have been too angry to see reason. 

I hope this works out and he gets a solution to his premature ejaculation problem. He can try sexual enhancers

Love, Aunty Z!

Dear Aunty Z!, 

I met this man at a conference that I accompanied someone to and he collected my number from my friend who was with me. He texted me and we started talking, but he is older than me by like 20 years and he is married with kids, they don’t stay in the same city where he works and I live. We arranged a date and it was alright, we got to know each other better and he was direct and asked how I feel about polygamy. 

I’m worried because he is married and I’m scared to enter polygamy and the age thing again. I’m only talking to him because no one is serious with me and he is like the only serious person.

Kella, 19

Dear Kella, 

You’re 19. As much as you’re an adult, there’s no reason why at your age, you should be with someone that much older. 20 years older than you means he’s 39. What exactly do the both of you have in common? 

My love, I’ve been where you are. I had a terrible history of taking attention wherever I found it, and I found it a lot in the hands of older men. It hardly ever ends well, and I don’t want to see you hurt. 

Also, is his wife aware that their marriage is polygamous? Would you really want a situation where you get “married” to him and his actual wife and his family members start bullying you? If he wants a second wife, he should find his age mates. 

You’re too young to be stressed by things like this. There will be more serious people, and they’d be age-appropriate. Don’t entertain this man Kella. Just block him and move on with life. 

-Love, Aunty Z! 

Aunty Z! will be published every Sunday at 2 pm but you can write to her here and she may just give you the advice that changes your entire life!  

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