Romance is sweet, but there’s no romance sweeter than Nollywood romance. If you want to emulate such sweet love, here are some simple things you need to do.
An ex who wants you back
What is love without a little love triangle? The only true way to make your life like a Nollywood romance movie is to have an ex who wants more than anything to have you back in their life. They’re promising you heaven and all the people inside, but you’d rather stick with the person you’re currently dating. Please, send your ex our way. Let them love us.
A family member who absolutely hates you
Your partner must have a member of their nuclear family who can’t stand you. They hate you and the oxygen you breathe and they make their disdain for you obvious. Maybe you stole their partner in secondary, but whatever it is, they want your head on a plate. Giving Jezebel vibes.
One misunderstanding that could be fixed if someone just sent a text
One thing Nollywood romance movies don’t lack is conflict. They have it in different shades and colours. This particular one that might cause the end of your relationship is actually something so small! All it’ll take to fix everything is a text message, but we live for the drama.
Money that grows more than grass
There has to be at least one ridiculously rich person in your life. Could be your ex, current partner or even your partner’s ex. One of the recurring characters has to be stinkily stupidly rich or how else could they pull off ridiculous stunts? We need new money, old money and long money. Like philosopher, David. O Adeleke said, “Love is sweet o, but when money enter love is sweeter”.
According to Nollywood, a bridge is the ultimate display of love. If it’s not, then why is it in almost every movie that’s been made? If you live in Lagos, there are an array of bridges to choose from, but we personally recommend the Lekki-Ikoyi link bridge, and it’s not just because we’ve interviewed him for Zikoko.
A dating montage
Because you are the main character and every other person is just a side of the bad bitchery that is your life, you need your own montage, a recording of the various dates you and bae have been on. It’s in slow motion and should summarise your relationship. It’s not for you but for the rest of us who are nothing but spectators of your life.
The best friend in the world
Romance can have your head in the clouds, so you need someone to bring your head back down. Every good Nollywood romance movie has that best friend who will bring you back to Earth when your brain starts moving differently. You might have a friend group (as an adult? We envy you), but you’d still need your bestie.