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  • Table of contents

    Short Love Messages for Her

    Long Love Messages for Her

    Sweet Love Messages for Her

    Deep Love Messages for Your Girlfriend

    Deep Love Messages for Your Wife

    Love Messages to Make Her Cry

    Deep Love Messages for Her in a Long-Distance Relationship

    Good Morning Love Messages for Her to Wake Up To

    Good Night Love Messages for Her Before Bed

    Frequently Asked Questions

    When you’re in love with an incredible woman, a simple “I love you” rarely feels like enough. You want — no, need — to say something deeper, something that captures the way she makes you feel. That’s where these deep love messages for her come in.

    Whether you’re in a new relationship or have been together for years, the right words can make her feel just as happy as she makes you. To help you find those words, we’ve compiled over 250 deep love messages for her, ranging from short and sweet to long and emotional.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Merry Christmas Wishes for The People You Care About

    Short Love Messages for Her

    Sometimes, all it takes is a few words. These short love messages for her are perfect for sending a quick reminder that she’s always on your mind. They can be used as a good morning text, a midday check-in, or a sweet note before bed.

    • Just hearing your voice is enough to brighten my entire day.
    • You make loving you the easiest thing I’ve ever done.
    • I didn’t believe in soulmates until I met you.
    • My heart is always smiling because of you.
    • Being yours feels like home.
    • Ife mi, you’re my peace in a noisy world.
    • I love you more than yesterday, less than tomorrow.
    • My forever started the day I found you.
    • You make everything feel softer, warmer, and better.
    • I still get butterflies just thinking about you.
    • No matter how busy life gets, you’re always on my mind.
    • You are my favourite hello and my hardest goodbye.
    • You walk into a room, and suddenly, nothing else matters.
    • Loving you is my favourite habit.
    • I never knew love could feel this safe.
    • If I had to choose again, I’d choose you every time.
    • You’re not just my person, you’re my peace and joy.
    • You make even ordinary moments feel magical.
    • With you, I’ve found the kind of love I thought only existed in stories.
    • Your loving smile rewrites my worst days.
    • Loving you makes every day feel like a poem.
    • My heart speaks your name even in silence.
    • You make me believe in things I used to doubt, like forever.
    • You’re the reason I look forward to tomorrow.
    • Every second with you feels like a blessing.
    • I’d choose you in every lifetime, in every version of me.
    • You’re the calm to every storm in my life.
    • Even on my worst days, loving you is still my best decision.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Love and Trust Messages for the One You Love

    Long Love Messages for Her

    If you’re looking for the perfect way to express everything your heart feels, these long love messages for her are exactly what you need. Filled with deep emotion, appreciation, and admiration, they’re ideal for love letters, cards, or long texts that will make her feel truly cherished.

    • My love, every day I wake up next to you, I’m reminded that I’ve found something truly rare;  someone who sees me, understands me, and loves me for exactly who I am. Your presence calms my storms, your laughter lifts my spirit, and your love gives me the strength to be better than I was yesterday. You are my peace, my joy, and the reason my heart feels full.
    • You’re not just the woman I love, but the woman who changed my life. You’ve shown me what it means to be patient, to be soft, to be strong, and to love without holding back. I could spend forever trying to thank you for all you’ve brought into my world, and it still wouldn’t be enough.
    • Before you, love felt like something distant, something other people got to experience. But now, love is you; in your eyes, your touch, your kindness, your stubbornness, your strength. Every part of you reminds me that love is real, and I’m so lucky to be the one you chose to share it with.
    • Sometimes I just watch you in awe. The way you move through life, the way you care for others, the quiet strength in your voice when things are hard. You amaze me every single day. And I’m just grateful to walk this life with you by my side.
    • There are a thousand ways to say “I love you,” but none seem big enough. You’ve become my safest place, my best friend, my home. When I’m around you, the world slows down, and suddenly nothing matters but us. I hope you know how deeply you’re loved — not just by me, but by everyone lucky enough to know you.
    • I love the way you look at me, like you see parts of me I’ve never shared with anyone. I love the way you touch me, like every inch of me is worthy of tenderness. But most of all, I love the way you love me.
    • You are the most beautiful part of my life. Every moment I spend with you becomes a memory I want to keep forever. You’ve filled my heart with a love so deep, so strong, I didn’t even know it was possible. And every day, I fall for you all over again.
    • Loving you has taught me that home is in a person. You’re where I find peace after a long day, comfort when the world is too harsh, and joy even when things aren’t perfect. Being with you has made me better, happier, and softer. I’ll never take your love for granted.
    • You don’t ask for much, but you deserve the world and more. I hope you always know how much you mean to me. You’ve touched every part of my life and made it better. I love you more than words can say, but I’ll spend a lifetime trying to show you.
    • You’re the only person who can make me feel safe and excited all at once. Your love is like a warm blanket and a spark of electricity. You keep me grounded and lift me higher at the same time. I don’t know how you do it, but I’m grateful every day that you do.
    • In a world full of chaos, you’re the calm I never knew I needed. Your voice soothes me, your smile warms me, and your love wraps around me like a soft breeze on a hot day. Thank you for being my constant, my partner, and my heart’s home.
    • I never thought I’d find someone who understands me the way you do. You get me even when I can’t find the words. You know when to hold me, when to push me, and when to just sit quietly by my side. You’re my person.
    • Every love story is special, but ours is my favourite. Not because it’s perfect, but because it’s real. We’ve laughed, cried, argued, and grown together. And I wouldn’t trade our journey for anything. You make every moment worth it.
    • When I count my blessings, you’re always at the top of the list. Your love has made me softer, stronger, and more open to life. I used to be afraid of being vulnerable, but with you, it feels natural. You’re my safe space, and I love you deeply for that.
    • You’ve seen me at my best and my worst, and you’ve never made me feel like I’m too much or not enough. You’ve loved me with patience, passion, and grace. I hope I can always love you the way you deserve.
    • I don’t believe in perfection, but I do believe in perfect fits, and you are mine. We fit in the way we talk, laugh, fight, and forgive. You balance me in all the best ways, and I never want to do life without you.
    • The way you love me is something I’ll never stop being grateful for. It’s in the little things like the soft touches, the late-night talks, and the way you say my name. You’ve made me believe in love in the truest sense.
    • I wish I could bottle up your laugh and carry it with me everywhere. It’s the sound of home, of happiness, of everything good in the world. Being loved by you feels like a dream I never want to wake up from.
    • I love you not just for who you are, but for how you make me feel. You’ve taught me how beautiful it is to love someone fully and to let myself be fully loved in return.
    • Loving you is the easiest and most beautiful thing I’ve ever done. You’ve turned my ordinary days into something magical. Even on the days we don’t talk much or life feels heavy, just knowing you’re mine makes everything better.
    • If I could write you into every song, every poem, every story, I would. You are the rhythm of my life, the light in my moments of doubt, and the warmth in my coldest seasons. Loving you has given my life new meaning.
    • You are everything I never knew I needed as a beautiful surprise, a constant source of joy, and the kind of love that feels like a deep exhale. I didn’t know I could feel this safe and still be this excited.
    • Some days, I just sit and wonder how I got so lucky. You’re strong, kind, intelligent, funny, and breathtaking inside and out. And for some reason, you’ve chosen me. I don’t take that for granted, not for a second.
    • You’re not just part of my life; you are the best part. I want you in every plan, every dream, and every hope I have. Because life without you just wouldn’t be the same.
    • I could spend the rest of my life trying to put into words what you mean to me and still fall short. Just know that you are deeply, wildly, endlessly loved — and I’ll keep showing you in every way I can.
    • From lazy mornings to deep midnight conversations, you’ve become the rhythm of my heart. Loving you has been the most natural, soul-deep experience of my life. And I hope you always feel how much you’re adored.
    • You make me want to be the best version of myself, not because you demand it, but because your love inspires me to grow. You believe in me even when I doubt myself, and I’m endlessly grateful.
    • I may not always have the perfect words, but I hope you can feel the truth in everything I say: I love you. I choose you. And I will keep choosing you, every day, for the rest of my life.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Happy New Month Prayers for the People You Care About

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    ALSO READ: 250+ Romantic Text Messages That Will Make Her Want You Badly

    Sweet Love Messages for Her

    Sometimes, it’s the sweet and simple things that melt the heart. These sweet love messages for her are warm, affectionate, and designed to make her smile. Whether you want to brighten her day or remind her just how special she is, these messages are perfect for every moment you want to share your love.

    • Just hearing your voice can turn my whole day around. I don’t know how you do it, but you always bring peace to my chaos.
    • I still get butterflies every time I see your name light up my screen. It’s a little reminder that I’m lucky to have you.
    • I know that everybody has their own path in life. But the thing is, I’d rather share mine with you.
    • You do a million little things that bring joy to my life. I appreciate every single one of them!
    • Sometimes it feels like I’m dreaming, but then I realise this is all real. I’m so happy you’re mine!
    • I didn’t know love could feel this safe and this exciting until I met you. Every day with you feels like a new adventure.
    • I could spend forever holding your hand, tracing the lines of your palm like a map I never want to stop exploring.
    • Even in a room full of people, my eyes always find you first. You’re my favourite part of every crowd.
    • Thank you for being kind, warm, and endlessly lovable. Your love makes every version of life better.
    • Your laugh is the sweetest melody I’ve ever heard. I could replay it in my head a thousand times and still smile.
    • Even when we’re quiet together, it feels like the most beautiful conversation. That’s what love should feel like.
    • You’re the sweetest chapter I never knew I needed in my story. But now, I can’t imagine the book without you.
    • Life is softer, sweeter, and a whole lot brighter with you in it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything.
    • You’re the calm in my chaos and the joy I look forward to each day. You make the ordinary feel extraordinary.
    • You’re the first person I want to tell when things go wrong and when they go right.
    • Knowing that you love me as much as I love you is the best feeling in the world.
    • I hope you know how much you mean to me, not just in the big moments, but in all the small, quiet ones too.
    • You’re the softest part of my hardest days. Thank you for being both my escape and my reason to keep going.
    • Your love is the kindest, purest thing I’ve ever known. I feel lucky every single day to be wrapped in it.
    • Thank you for loving me in such a soft, sweet, complete way. You make love feel like something I can hold.
    • Sometimes it feels like I’m dreaming, but then I realise it’s all real. Thank you for being mine!
    • I’m not sure if the best part of my day is waking up next to you or going to sleep with you. Hurry home so I can compare the two again.
    • Everyone has their own motivation to get up in the morning and face the day. You are mine.
    • I can’t explain the way you make me feel when I hear your voice or see your face, but I adore it.
    • When I count my blessings, you are at the top of the list. Thank you for loving me so sweetly and completely.
    • Do you have any idea how much I miss you every second of the day that we’re not together?
    • Even after all this time, you still give me a reason to smile for no reason. Your love is the sweetest thing I’ve ever known.

    ALSO READ: 200+ Romantic Birthday Wishes For Your Girlfriend To Make Her Feel Loved

    Deep Love Messages for Your Girlfriend

    Your girlfriend deserves words that show how much you love her. These deep love messages for your girlfriend are perfect for expressing everything from admiration to passion, whether you’re texting her good morning or whispering sweet nothings.

    • Since we started dating, you’ve been my peace, my chaos, my calm, and my spark all in one beautiful person.
    • Falling in love with you wasn’t a choice. It felt natural, irresistible, and completely out of my control.
    • I don’t care what we do. As long as we’re together, everything feels like magic.
    • You’ve ruined me in the best way. Now I want no one else but you, forever.
    • I didn’t know what my heart was capable of until it met yours.
    • You make love feel so soft and so wild at the same time. I never want this feeling to end.
    • There’s a whole world out there, but the only place I ever want to be is next to you.
    • You’ve made my favourite place your arms, and my safest home your voice.
    • I love the way we laugh, the way we argue, the way we find our way back. We were made to belong to each other.
    • You have this dangerous kind of beauty that makes me want to love you harder every day.
    • Some days, I still can’t believe you’re real. Being with you is my greatest joy.
    • You make love feel like an inside joke between us that no one else gets. I love that.
    • Every little thing you do, from your smile to your sighs, lives rent-free in my chest.
    • With you, I don’t feel the need to pretend. You see the real me and love me anyway.
    • If I had a superpower, it would be pausing time just to hold you a little longer.
    • I love how you love me deeply. And that’s all I ever needed.
    • You’ve made it impossible to imagine a life that doesn’t include your laughter, your stubbornness, and your love.
    • You’re not just beautiful, babe. You’re the kind of woman who makes hearts feel safe to unfold.
    • You’re my person and loudest cheerleader, my softest place to fall.
    • I love you in ways I haven’t even found the words for yet.
    • When I say “I miss you,” I mean I miss how my soul feels when you’re near.
    • Every time I hold your hand, I’m reminded why I chose you. And why I’ll keep choosing you.
    • Your love feels like a favourite song I never get tired of playing on repeat.
    • You don’t complete me — you expand me, challenge me, make me better.
    • I fall in love with you again every time you smile at me like I’m your whole world.
    • I love you for all the times you’ve been patient with me, even when I didn’t deserve it.
    • You’re not just the girl I love, but a love story I want to tell for the rest of my life.
    • I didn’t believe in soulmates until you looked at me like I was the only one you saw. 

    ALSO READ: 200+ Questions to Ask Your Lover to Know Them Better

    Deep Love Messages for Your Wife

    Marriage deepens love in ways dating never could, and sometimes, words are the most powerful way to honour that journey. These deep love messages for your wife celebrate long-term love, devotion, and the shared life you’ve built together.

    • You’re not just my life partner, but the rhythm in my heartbeat, the calm in my chaos, and the reason I believe in forever.
    • Every day with you feels like a lifetime’s worth of blessings. I’ll keep choosing you, in every universe, in every version of me.
    • Your love grounds me and sets me free all at once. I didn’t know love could feel like home until I found you.
    • You’ve made the journey of life softer, sweeter, and far more meaningful. I thank God for you every single day.
    • I don’t say it enough, but you are the reason I strive to be better. Your love challenges me and comforts me all at once.
    • When I look at you, I see not just the love of my life, but the most incredible woman I’ve ever known.
    • Being married to you is the easiest decision I’ve ever made. It’s the best one, too.
    • Through every high and low, your hand in mine has been the greatest reassurance. You’re my peace.
    • I love how you see me even when I can’t see myself clearly. You’ve taught me what true partnership means.
    • Your love has rewired my heart to beat with purpose. You’re more than my wife — you’re my forever muse.
    • Every wrinkle we earn together is a line in the love story we’re writing. And I love every chapter.
    • You make our house a home, our life a story worth telling, and every day a reason to smile.
    • You’re my strongest ally, softest place to land, and my favourite everything.
    • When I count my blessings, I count you as my partner and my best friend.
    • I’d relive every difficult moment in life if it meant finding you all over again.
    • Our love is steady, real, and beautiful in ways I never imagined. Thank you for being you.
    • I never knew what unconditional love looked like until you showed me again and again.
    • Just one look at you, and I remember why I fell so hard. You still take my breath away.
    • Loving you has taught me that soulmates aren’t found. They’re built with time, trust, and tenderness.
    • You are my home, my harbour, and my greatest adventure.
    • With every passing year, I fall deeper in love with your heart, your strength, and your laughter.
    • I didn’t know it was possible to love someone more each day, until you.
    • Your love is my compass, guiding me through life’s storms and celebrations.
    • Thank you for standing by me, for growing with me, and for loving me so well.
    • You’re not just my wife, you’re the story I want to keep writing forever.
    • I admire your strength, cherish your heart, and adore your soul.
    • If I had to choose again, I’d still choose every version of you, in every life.

    ALSO READ: 150+ Pick Up Lines for Girls That’ll Make Her Blush

    Love Messages to Make Her Cry

    The right words can touch her soul and bring tears to her eyes. These love messages to make her cry are filled with raw emotion and vulnerability. They’re perfect for letters, long texts, or intimate conversations.

    • If I searched the entire world for the rest of my life, I’d never find another soul who fits mine the way you do. 
    • I still don’t know what I did to deserve you, but I promise to spend every day proving I’m worthy of your love.
    • You walked into my life like a quiet miracle. Now I can’t imagine a world that doesn’t have you in it.
    • Sometimes I stare at you and feel overwhelmed, because how did I get so lucky to love someone this good and this kind?
    • If I could bottle every moment you’ve ever made me feel loved, I’d have more light than the stars.
    • Even when I’m quiet, even when I fail, you still choose me. That kind of love? I’ll never take it for granted.
    • You’ve seen the worst of me, even he messiest parts I tried to hide. Somehow, you loved me harder. That’s magic.
    • I don’t just love you. I need you. The way flowers need sunlight. The way oceans need the moon.
    • I may not always have the right words, but I hope you know your love is my favourite place to exist.
    • There are nights I lie awake just thanking the universe that I get to wake up next to you.
    • Before you, I was surviving. After you, I learned how to live.
    • The world can be cruel and confusing, but your love is the one thing that always makes sense.
    • I’ve watched you carry pain with grace, laugh through storms, and give love even when you’re tired. You are extraordinary.
    • If I ever lose everything, but still have you, then I’ll still have everything that truly matters.
    • Sometimes I fear this is all a dream, and I’ll wake up in a world without you. That’s how precious your love feels.
    • I never believed in soulmates until I met you. And now, I can’t believe I ever doubted they were real.
    • You are every “I love you” I never heard growing up. You are healing I never thought I’d find.
    • I’ve never felt safer and more loved than I do with you. You are my home.
    • Even if we age, change, or fall apart in pieces, my love for you will remain whole.
    • I’ve hurt, I’ve healed, and in the middle of it all, I found you who loved me through it all.
    • I want to love you like no one has ever loved you. The quiet moments. The hard days. All of it.
    • You’ve shown me that love isn’t about perfection. It’s about choosing each other, again and again, even when it’s hard.
    • If I could live forever just to love you longer, I would.
    • I’ll never stop trying to be the kind of love you’ve always deserved. 
    • The way you love has taught me more about grace than anything else in this world.
    • If all I ever do in this life is love you well, then I’ll have lived fully.
    • I don’t just love who you are. I love every version you’ve ever been and every version you’re still becoming.

    Deep Love Messages for Her in a Long-Distance Relationship

    Distance may test your relationship, but words can build bridges between hearts. Whether you’re missing her voice or counting down the days until you reunite, these deep love messages for her will bring her closer, no matter how far apart you are.

    • Every time my phone lights up with your name, the distance between us feels just a little smaller.
    • I don’t just miss you, I miss your voice, your laugh, your scent, your presence, and all the little things you are.
    • The hardest part of my day is knowing I can’t hold you. The best part is knowing one day, I will again.
    • I count the days until I can stop saying “I miss you” and start saying “I’m home.”
    • No matter where you are, my heart is always curled up next to yours.
    • I carry your love like a secret warmth. It’s a fire that keeps me going even on the loneliest nights.
    • Distance could never dull what I feel for you. It only makes me love you more fiercely, more intentionally.
    • Sometimes I close my eyes and imagine your head on my chest, your fingers tangled with mine, and suddenly, the world feels softer.
    • I may not be able to kiss you goodnight, but every night, I send a prayer that you sleep with peace in your heart and love in your dreams.
    • We’re living in different cities and breathing different air. But every breath I take is still for you.
    • I fall in love with you all over again every time I hear your voice, even if it’s just through a screen.
    • Some people say distance weakens love. I think it proves just how strong ours is.
    • I’d rather do long-distance with you than be next to anyone else and feel alone.
    • The thought of our reunion keeps me going. I know it’ll be worth every mile.
    • Every moment apart is one step closer to forever together.
    • Even when we’re not talking, I still think about you. You’re always in the background of my heart.
    • Some nights I ache for you so much it physically hurts, but that pain reminds me how real this love is.
    • Your absence is loud,  but my love for you is louder.
    • Even if we’re on opposite ends of the earth, we’re still looking up at the same moon. That thought brings me comfort.
    • I don’t need to see you every day to know that what we have is rare and real.
    • Loving you from afar has taught me patience, faith, and how deeply someone can live inside your soul.
    • I keep imagining all the things we’ll do when we’re finally together — lazy Sundays, random adventures, slow dancing in the kitchen.
    • I may not get to hold your hand right now, but I’ll never let go of your heart.
    • I dream of your voice, your touch, and your smile. I wake up holding onto the love we built, even through the distance.
    • We’re writing a beautiful love story that proves distance is just a test for hearts that are meant to be.
    • Until I can wrap you in my arms again, know this: you’re never truly far. You’re here, in everything I do and every beat of my heart.

    ALSO READ: 100 Sweet Names To Call Your Girlfriend That’ll Make Her Blush

    Good Morning Love Messages for Her to Wake Up To

    Want to make her morning extra special? These good morning love messages for her to wake up to are the perfect way to brighten her day from the moment she opens her eyes. They’ll remind her that she’s the first thing on your mind and in your heart.

    • Good morning, my love. I hope your day starts with a smile as beautiful as yours and ends with the warmth of my love wrapping around you.
    • Rise and shine, beautiful. Just knowing you exist in this world makes my mornings worth waking up to.
    • Morning, babe. I may not be there to kiss your forehead, but I’m sending all my love to start your day right.
    • Every morning feels like a blessing because it means I get another day to love you.
    • Wake up, sleepyhead. The world is waiting to be lit up by your smile.
    • Good morning, queen. May today treat you gently and remind you just how cherished you are.
    • Just a reminder as you open your eyes: someone loves you deeply and completely. 
    • I hope your morning is as sweet and comforting as your voice when you say, “I love you.”
    • You’re my first thought when I wake up and my favourite dream before I sleep. Have a beautiful day, baby.
    • Coffee is nice, but hearing from you in the morning is the real wake-up call I crave.
    • Waking up is easier knowing I get to love you another day. Let the world see how amazing you are.
    • Good morning, love. I’m sending you hugs in the wind and kisses in the sunshine.
    • May your morning be soft and your heart full of joy. You deserve nothing less.
    • If I could, I’d bring you breakfast in bed and whisper how lucky I am to call you mine.
    • Morning has come, and with it, another chance for me to remind you that you’re everything.
    • I hope today surprises you with reasons to smile and reminds you of how deeply you are loved.
    • Just like the sun lights up the sky, you light up my world. Good morning, my sunshine.
    • No matter how hectic the day may be, I want you to walk into it knowing someone loves you fiercely.
    • Mornings feel less lonely when I imagine you reading this and smiling.
    • Open your eyes and see what I see: a strong, beautiful woman capable of anything. Go win today, baby.
    • Good morning, my heart. I hope today brings you peace, progress, and pockets of joy.
    • If mornings had a voice, mine would whisper your name over and over.
    • You’re the reason I believe in magic. Waking up and loving you is the best spell I’ve ever been under.
    • Even if the sky is grey today, you bring colour to my world. Good morning, love.
    • My favourite part of the day? Knowing you’re waking up somewhere in the world, even if it’s not next to me.
    • Let today be full of light — your light. I love you. Always.
    • Good morning, babe. Go out there and conquer the world like the goddess you are. Remember, I’m here cheering for you every step.

    ALSO READ: 300+ Good Morning Message for Her to Make Her Day Special

    Good Night Love Messages for Her Before Bed

    Send her to sleep with a smile on her face and your love in her heart. These good night love messages for her before bed are the best way to say “I love you” as she winds down. 

    • Good night, my love. As you close your eyes, remember there’s someone out here who loves you more with every passing day.
    • Sleep peacefully, baby. You deserve rest as soft as your heart and dreams as sweet as your smile.
    • The stars are shining just for you tonight, my queen. May they guard your sleep and carry my love straight to your dreams.
    • Even though I’m not there to hold you, know that I’m thinking about you and sending hugs through the moonlight.
    • Rest easy, love. You’ve done your best today, so let the night soothe your soul.
    • I wish I could kiss your forehead, pull you close, and whisper “I love you” until you fall asleep.
    • Tonight, I hope you dream of laughter, love, and all the beautiful things we’ll create together.
    • As the world quiets down, let my love be the lullaby that carries you into peaceful sleep.
    • The day might be over, but my love for you never rests. Good night, beautiful.
    • I know you’re tired, my love. Close your eyes and let peace find you — I’m right there in your dreams.
    • Sleep well, darling. Tomorrow is another chance to love you even more.
    • I hope your pillow is soft, your blankets are warm, and your dreams are filled with joy and me.
    • The distance between us feels smaller when I imagine you reading this and smiling. Good night, babe.
    • I miss you most at night, when the silence reminds me you’re not next to me. Sleep tight, my heart.
    • May the angels keep you safe, and my love keep you warm through the night.
    • Good night, my everything. Thank you for being the best part of every day.
    • I fall asleep each night smiling, just thinking of you. Sweet dreams, baby girl.
    • I love the way the stars twinkle, but nothing compares to the way your love lights up my life. Sleep well, love.
    • The bed feels too big without you, but my heart feels full just knowing you’re mine. Good night, love.
    • If I could bottle up my love and leave it on your nightstand, I would. Sleep surrounded by it, my angel.
    • When you close your eyes, imagine me wrapping you in a warm embrace. I’m never far.
    • Thank you for existing. Thank you for being mine. Good night, my miracle.
    • You’re the peace in my chaos and the calm in my night. Sleep in peace, my love.
    • Tonight, I’m falling asleep with a heart full of gratitude — for you, for us, for this love.
    • I hope your dreams are filled with the same warmth you give me every day. Sleep tight, sweetheart.
    • I can’t wait for the day I get to say good night face-to-face. But until then, know that you’re everything to me.
    • Good night, my love. Close your eyes and fall asleep knowing you are so deeply loved, always and in all ways.

    ALSO READ: 100+ Heartwarming Long Good Night Messages for Her

    Frequently Asked Questions

    How can I make my love smile?

    Your affection will always bring a smile to her face. You could send her a romantic love message that shows how much you appreciate her, remind her of a sweet memory, or compliment her genuinely.

    How can I touch her heart with words?

    Choose words that best show your sincerity and depth. Express how grateful you are for her love and why she’s irreplaceable. When your words come from the heart, they’re bound to touch her.

    How can I make her love me more?

    Love grows stronger when nurtured with attention and care. Share consistent words of affection, support her, and regularly remind her of your commitment.

    How can I express my love in chat?

    Chats may seem casual, but you can make them romantic. Send her sweet, thoughtful messages often, and be intentional with your words. Even the simplest text, when genuine, can melt her heart.

    ALSO READ: 150+ “I Miss You” Messages For The Woman You Love

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  • With Valentine’s Day just around the corner, the season of love is about to be in full swing with flowers, pink hearts, and wrapped gifts filling every timeline and store promotion. But what does this time of year feel like for those who don’t experience romantic attraction?

    Curious, Zikoko spoke to five young aromantic Nigerians to explore their thoughts on Valentine’s Day. Aromanticism is a romantic orientation that refers to having little to no romantic feelings toward others and experiencing minimal or no romantic desire or attraction. Like all expressions of identity, aromanticism exists on a spectrum — some aromantic people date occasionally, while others choose not to date at all.

    Navigating a World Built on Romance

    Romantic love is deeply embedded in the fabric of society, shaping everything from media to traditions like Valentine’s Day. For aromantic people, this can be both isolating and liberating. As we learned, while some aromantic individuals embrace aspects of the season, others find it commercialised, exhausting, or simply irrelevant.

    Here’s what five aromantic young Nigerians shared about their experiences with Valentine’s Day.

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    “I Love My Friends Deeply, Just Not Romantically” — Kosi (25, M).

    I don’t hate the Valentine’s period at all. I’m actually quite happy for people who are in love or have found love. I just don’t relate to love in that way, personally. This is not to say I have no love in my life. I deeply love my friends and express that love as much as possible. I just don’t experience romantic love — at least not in a way that is distinct from the love I have for my friends. I’m still trying to find where I fit in in the expression of romantic love. I’ve dated aromantic and asexual people in the past, and it was pretty okay. I’ve spent two Valentine’s in a relationship in the past, and I think I sent a gift each time. I’m pretty sure I haven’t ever gotten a Valentine’s gift before, but I don’t think I’m missing out.

    My issues with Valentine’s Day stem more from how it has been commercialised to such a point that it seems to celebrate consumerism and materialism more than the love itself. The branding of Valentine’s Day focuses on the gifts, the cards, and the “instagrammability” of all of that, and it rubs me the wrong way. 

    But aside from that, I think it’s cute that even though we love all year round, we have a dedicated period where we celebrate it. I just wish it was less gimmicky.

    “I’ve Never Celebrated Valentine’s Even Platonically.” — Beyy* (23, F).

    I don’t know if I’m aroace, honestly. I’ve never dated before, and I’m not really looking to do it in the near future either. I’m still figuring it out. 

    I have mixed feelings about Valentine’s Day. I like that when done right, it’s a very exciting time for women, especially because God knows we need more of those. At the same time, it really is just another time for me as I’ve never engaged in it. I don’t particularly care for it, but I think it’s a cute time. Like I said, I don’t date.

    I’ve never celebrated Valentine’s even platonically, but I might give it a try this year. Unfortunately, the only thing I can remember about past Valentine’s Days is experiencing other people’s joy over it. I stayed in the hostel for the first three years of secondary school, and the anticipation the girls had for gifts sent to the hostel was one of the most exciting things about the day. They would make it a whole event, leaning outside the windows, waiting for someone to come, teasing the recipients of the gifts and just having fun with it. It made the day nice. Female joy is always lovely to see.

    “I Don’t Mind Valentine’s Season Particularly, But I Find All The Marketing Exhausting”— Dele* (26, M).

    I’m aromantic so it’s difficult for me to connect with people romantically. I still try but it never lasts very long. I don’t mind the Valentine’s season though, I think couples in love are cute even if I don’t really relate to their experience. 

    I don’t mind Valentine’s season particularly, but I find all the marketing exhausting. I think we need a time to celebrate love the way we celebrate Christmas or any other holiday, but we need to make it less of a money grab. The women in my life — my friends and sisters — absolutely love the pink hearts, chocolates and all that serenren, so I celebrate by getting them small gifts for Valentine’s. 

    “I Usually Like To Spend Valentine’s Day By Myself”—Toni* (24, F).

    I usually like to spend Valentine’s Day by myself. I think there are a lot of spoken and unspoken expectations around the season, even from people who claim to understand why I’m not very interested in romantic love and its bells and whistles. 

    My friends have persuaded me to attend a Galentine event. It will be all girls, low pressure, and good vibes, and I’m actually looking forward to it. It would be great to find a way that I can celebrate the season without feeling like I’m not being genuine.

    “I Don’t Usually Think About The Events Of The Day Because I’m Busy Thinking About How To Celebrate My Birthday” — Rotimi* (22, M).

    I don’t really mind Valentine’s season. My birthday is three days after Valentine’s Day, so I’m grateful that I don’t usually think about the events of the day because I’m busy thinking about how to celebrate my birthday. I focus on celebrating the love I have with my friends when they come to celebrate with me, and I prefer it this way.

    A Valentine’s Beyond Romance

    As these stories show, Valentine’s Day often sparks different emotions and perspectives for aromantic people. While some view it as a celebration of consumerism, others use the season to focus on platonic love and appreciation for their loved ones. 

    If you’re looking to celebrate loved ones in a non-romantic way this Valentine’s Day, here are some thoughtful gift ideas to consider. It’s a great way to honor the bonds that matter most — romantic or not.

  • It’s International Men’s Day and we’re throwing down the gauntlet. The gift you get your man is how much you love him.

    You have the upper hand if you use Tramango travel services (better get familiar now!), but where you put your heart in this test will decide your place in the standing of the real romantics.

    Take the quiz:

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  • If you know nothing about romance, this quiz may seems like a personal attack. Step aside and let the romantic ones do their thing.

    Take quiz:

    “I return my pen into the basket of love” means what?

  • Nigerian men troll Nigerian women for fawning over K-Drama men too much. But who complains when women from S.A, Kenya and other countries drool over Nigerian men?

    I’m here to tell you K-Drama isn’t the trash you think it is, you just need to see the light, which is exactly what we’ve brought you today.

    For romance tips

    Can you cleverly and tenderly catch women in your arms when they trip? There’s “romanzzz” to learn Korean shows.

    Recommendation: “Boys Over Flowers”

    Premium investigation

    Women make up the largest part of the K-drama fan base in Nigeria. There must be a reason why. Finding out what these women see in these shows may be the self-improvement you need.

    Recommendation: “Law School”

    A chance to learn new language 

    The world evolves every day. Your L1 and L2 are no longer enough in this new wave of globalisation. If you watch and learn well, you might even open a language school and turn it into a business.

    Recommendation: “Pachinko”

    ALSO READ: You Don’t Have to Like K-Dramas to Love These 12 Korean Films

    Less toxic men to stan

    Not every time you’ll be doing like Peaky Blinder boys. Is Tommy Shelby’s trauma fun to you? Lee Min Ho and co are less problematic men to emulate.

    Recommendation: “King the Land”

    You and K-Drama men are more similar than you think

    In “Alchemy of Souls”, the king was moving like Nigerian men. First thing he did after shifting souls with the mage was go after the mage’s wife. What kind of bastard konji is that?

    Recommendation: “Alchemy of Souls”

    Your babe enjoys it

    You can’t dislike what your babe likes. It’s an unwritten rule.

    Recommendation: “Crash Course In Romance”

    Fashion sense

    Watch out for the villains especially; they always eat with their fits. Life is more than skinny jeans and baggy Balenciaga shirts.

    Recommendation: “Wang Taozhi Woos Madam Lim”

  • Nigerian men have bad PR. But on a good day, they’re mad actually romantics who are three steps ahead of Shakespeare.

    And if you beat the father of romance at his game, you’re the smoothest operator.

    Zikoko Memes

    And here’s exactly why we think Shakespeare isn’t worth his overhyped salt next to Nigerian men.

    Love letters in 1574 English is romantic until thou overdoest

    Twitter

    You’re not a ghost from the Renaissance period, so why can’t you talk like a regular guy?

    Zikoko Memes

    Uncomplicated love confessions for the win

    You don’t have to be dramatic. Just play a few Ajebutter22 songs for inspiration, and learn something from the King of Parole.

    It’s not only by words

    Please, pocket your sonnet 116 and send money. It’s more impressive.

    Zikoko Memes

    Buy your babe her favourite meals

    It’s not just the way to a man’s heart.

    Nigerian babes love food too.

    Zikoko Meme

    Sponsor her enjoyment too

    Zikoko Memes

    We know for a fact your hot babe will be at the hottest babes party of the year. So pay for her HERtitude 2023 tickets here.

    Never duel for love

    Combating other men for a woman’s heart isn’t what our own ancestors taught us. How is it romance if you leave her in eternal grief? A Nigerian guy knows better.

    Zikoko Memes

    No art is free

    If Shakespeare was a Nigerian man, he’d be a freelancer writing Valentine poems for couples and collecting money. He already writes; why not cash out from it? And what’s more romantic than a Nigerian man with money?

    Zikoko Memes

    RECOMMENDED: Shakespeare Has Nothing on Davido and We Have Receipts to Prove It

  • As a single person, my brain isn’t clouded by love. I can think clearly, which is why I know all you relationship people are not okay. Because how do these 10 sayings make y’all fall in love?  

    I’m stuck with you

    You’ll never be stuck with me IJN. Please, when it’s not like we’re twins. If somebody richer than you comes around, we will become unstuck. Don’t worry. 

    Your body is a temple, and I want to worship you

    When there’s an RCCG branch one minute away from your house? Your priorities aren’t straight, I see. 

    I can’t live without you

    Please, try harder. How were you living before we met? Does your mother know you’re telling people things like this? Does Jesus know?

    Eat for me

    Or what? Will you faint? I don’t understand, do you live in my stomach? Answer me fast. 

    Let me take care of you

    I can take care of myself, please. Do I give broke vibes because why did you think it was okay to say that?

    You’re the apple of my eye

    I’ve never seen an apple inside any eye before o. Quite frankly, if you have an apple in your eye you should see an optician. 

    I want to marry you

    No Jide, you just met me. You don’t want to marry me, you just have mummy issues. 

    I want to put a baby in you

    This is a threat and should be reported to the nearest police. Where will you find the baby? Are you into kidnapping? Double arrest. 

    I want to eat you work

    Eh? Cannibalism? EFCC, INEC, NAFDAC, arrest this person, please. Maybe if you had actual work to do, you won’t be looking for work to eat. 

    I love you 

     We don’t have proof yet, but love is a chemical imbalance of the brain. Somebody doesn’t text you for one second and you can’t eat? Is that one normal? Abeg, talk another thing. Have you tried finding a hobby? It gives the same dopamine , I promise. 

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    The subjects of this week’s Love Life, Mofe (25) and Tunta (23), have been together for a year. They talk about how they almost didn’t get together because of her ex, and how even though they’re both polyamorous, they aren’t looking to date other people right now. 

    How did you meet?

    Mofe‬: We met on Twitter in November 2020. I want to lie that she moved to me, but it’s me. I’m the one who took my eyes to the “market”. I slid into her DM barely five minutes after discovering her Twitter profile for the first time. I found (still find) her incredibly interesting, and I was very excited to get to know her better. 

    Tunta: I’d tweeted about how I take terrible selfies, and he said he wanted to take terrible selfies with me. I was like, “Who is this one now?” but I clicked on his profile and saw a fine boy.  I also saw that we had a few mutuals so I responded. It was his avatar that made me even open his profile. I wanted to see the picture properly. 

    ‪Mofe‬: We had mutuals?

    Tunta: Yes. Just a few.

    What did you think when he DM’ed you? 

    Tunta: I thought he just wanted to sleep with me. He’s a designer and it was a field I was getting really interested in, so I thought he wanted to use that as scope. I even told my friends that. 

    Mofe‬: They even gave me a nickname because she thought I wanted to use design to sleep with her, meanwhile what I was feeling felt like romance. I was a little apprehensive about leaning in fully into my romantic intentions. It’s the internet; things aren’t always what they seem to be. But I wanted this romance I felt to be what it seemed to be, A LOT. She’s a lot more than that idea I had in my head. She’s my favourite person to explore and explore life with. 

    Tunta: Mo the Explorer. God, when?

    Mofe: See as I dey do romance for you. You no do any romance o. 

    Tunta: I’m shy, please.

    Please, don’t jump. We need the steps that led to the exploration

    Tunta: Well, I replied his DM, and with every conversation we had after, he seemed to care about me as a person, wanting to sleep with me aside. 

    Mofe‬: Add everything together.

    Tunta: So, while he didn’t straight up say, “I want a romantic relationship”, his DM didn’t seem completely platonic to me. 

    ‪Mofe‬: It wasn’t.

    Tunta: But I was in love with someone else at the time and wasn’t looking for another romantic connection. 

    Did you tell him? 

    Tunta: I didn’t mention it because I didn’t feel the need to. The other guy and I had stopped talking when Mofe messaged me. But we started talking again then started dating in May 2021, so I told Mofe about the guy. He knew Mofe because they have a mutual friend, and for some reason, this Mofe boy was telling everybody about me. 

    Why were you telling everyone about her?

    Mofe: It was love, but it wasn’t blind. It was certain. I’ve always been confident about the depth of the connection we shared. The love is absolute, and I’m not even being cheesy. 

    Tunta: I love you.

    ‪Mofe‬: I love you too.

    You people have jumped again

    Tunta: LMAO, sorry. I felt a connection too, but not romantic. I’ve cared about him since we met. There’s just this “Jenny say quan” to him. However, as time went on, we weren’t talking every day anymore because he was terrible at texting, I wasn’t interested in phone calls and he had a lot going on with school. I also think because we hadn’t met yet, he was less willing to talk. 

    You hadn’t met yet? 

    Tunta: I wasn’t keen on meeting him in person at first because I felt he went out too much and would give me COVID. There were like three different times we were supposed to meet in January/February, but something always came up on my end.

    I wanted to invite him to my sister’s wedding in April 2021, but I thought it would be weird. We didn’t talk much again till the beginning of 2022.

    Back to the relationship you got into in May

    Tunta: The relationship ended a month later.. After, I posted something about how I still wanted to try a non-monogamous relationship on my WhatsApp status, and Mofe said I should mention it to my partner. I was like “I don’t have”.

    Mofe‬: Scope to check if my suspicions were true.

    Tunta: Mofe said he hopes I know he’d try non-monogamy with me. I said I do. Unfortunately, two weeks later, me and the other guy got back together. We broke up again in October, and I almost didn’t date Mofe because my ex once implied I’d cheat on him with Mofe. I thought it’d look weird.

    So what changed your mind? 

    Tunta: The New Year of 2022 made us talk. I started ranting about the thing with my ex and how it doesn’t seem like we’re broken up even though we are. If I remember correctly, I actually told Mofe it’d be somehow if we get into a relationship because it’d be like I’d been talking to him to the whole time and “giving him hope”. He asked why I cared what it looked like or what the other guy thought, especially considering everything he’d said and done.

    Mofe‬: I thought if it was stressing her that much, it was definitely not healthy for them to keep talking, but I also knew it was easier said than done. Feelings mostly just don’t disappear; detachment is a process. 

    When did you finally meet? 

    Mofe‬: On my birthday.

    Tunta: He said he wanted to spend his birthday with me o. I didn’t want to go at first because I thought where he was staying at the time was far.

    ‪Mofe‬: It was far as fuck.

    Tunta: But I went. Despite all the nonsense that tried to stop me that day. Do you believe my car got seized?

    Mofe‬: That driver is an opp. I’m sure he somehow set you up.

    Tunta: Some law enforcement officers stopped the driver and I and said we entered BRT lane. We didn’t, but okay. They sha seized my car. I was discouraged and in a terrible mood.

    ‪Mofe‬: When she got to me, she was frowning because of the annoying journey, but I was smiling because “see fine girl”. 

    Tunta: I wanted to knock you. I was wondering why he was smiling like that when I was annoyed. 

    God, when? What did having that meeting do for both of you?

    Tunta: It made us start seeing each other at least twice every week. Then it became once because he stopped working remotely. 

    ‪Mofe‬: It gave all it was meant to give. At that point, I just knew this is who I want to be with for life. 

    Tunta: God, abeg.

    ‪Mofe‬: I don’t think she realised it as quickly as I did, but she caught up. 

    Tunta: You’re right. I have no idea when I realised I’d fallen for him. It just clicked one day that I was in love, but it was on his birthday I realised there was something there and that I could be in a relationship with him. Mo on the other hand has been in love since.

    ‪Mofe‬: Yep, for a while. My love is very patient.

    Tunta: God, am I the fattest bone?

    ‪Mofe‬: I don’t remember a specific time, but I knew I was in love. I wasn’t gonna be in those crush-type situations where it’s consuming you and the person you’re in love with just dey vibe dey go sha. 

    I didn’t think telling someone who’s in a monogamous relationship you loved them was useful for any of us. If it was gonna happen, it would.

    And it happened! But how? 

    Mofe‬: We started dating in February 2022. At this point, she’d briefly met both my parents during my pharmacy induction, and I’d met her mum during the times I went to visit her in her house. We kinda knew where it was going, but I was stalling until I could take her out on a proper dress-up date to pop the question.

    Tunta: Earlier in the month, he had said “we’re already together in my books” and I asked him what kind of book that is. He was like we’re already together, but he wants to do the whole dress-up date.

    ‪Mofe‬: Her own love no dey patient.

    Tunta: Get out. We became official the day he met my dad. My dad was like “Are you going out?” That was his way of him asking if we were in a relationship. We said yes. Then later I was like “oya ask me out” because I knew he wanted to. He asked me to be his girlfriend, then I asked him to be my boyfriend. 2FA.

    ‪Mofe‬: I told her I’d think about it, but when I asked she said yes immediately. 

    Tunta: Liar. You said, “I already am”.

    Mofe‬: Even though.

    You’ve been together for a year. Can you tell us what you love most about each other?

    Tunta: There’s a lot o, but let me try to make it short. He’s already pretty great but is always trying to be better. Plus, he’s a good friend, and he just gets me. 

    Mofe: The first thing that drew me to her as an individual is how kind she is. She’s very funny and thoughtful. When I was looking for a new job, she kept sending me vacancy announcements. She just puts you in her mind. I feel very loved by her. I’m her biggest fan and I love her very much. 

    I just wish she didn’t doubt herself. She’s a very confident person but sometimes she starts to question herself and when she gets into that funk, it’s sometimes hard for her to get out of, but she’s taking risks now and trying to get better.

    Tunta: Being with him has made me a better communicator. The fact that he’s easy to talk to and doesn’t make me feel irrational even when I might be definitely helps. There were times before we became official that I thought I was giving him too much information, especially when I was talking about my ex, but I wanted everything out. Let everybody know what they’re entering. 

    I’m mentally ill, and I had a breakdown recently. I was saying absolute rubbish, but this guy didn’t make me feel like I was. 

    I’m happy I replied his DM because he’s a great person to have in your corner, and I’m extra happy I eventually caught up with him on the romance end. I love how we make each other better. 

    Did you still do the non-monogamous relationship?

    Tunta: Yes.

    Mofe‬: I’m polyamorous, and so is she. It was a mutual decision. We set up certain “rules” to guide us in navigating it. I think the effort we made to create a relationship where we could tell each other literally anything has made the open relationship seamless for us.

    Do you have plans to date other people? 

    Tunta: Not at the moment but dynamics can change. We just have to talk about it. 

    Mofe: Exactly. 

    On a scale of 1-10, what’ll you rate your love life? 

    Tunta: 100. 

    Okay, I’m joking. A 9. He’s very beautiful and supportive. He has a positive outlook on life. The one I removed is because we’re not where I want us to be yet, and it’s because of both internal and external factors like finances.

    Mofe: I’ll say 9. There’s always room for improvement. This is the best my love life has been since I’ve known myself. I’m having the time of my life with my favourite person.

    RELATED: Love Life: I Cheated With Him but I Won’t Cheat on Him

  • Love Life is a Zikoko weekly series about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements and everything in between.

    Tell me about first impressions 

    Jane: We met in law school in February 2020. We stayed in one of co-ed hostels in Lagos. Jay’s room was across from mine, and I’d befriended his roommate before I actually started talking to him. 

    Jay: In law school, we were put into different groups. A mutual friend of ours was in my group; the babe introduced me to Jane as a “Brostitute” — combination of bro and prostitute. 

    Jane: He might look like a player, but when you take your time to get to know him, you’d see he’s the sweetest person ever. 

    Jay: When I met her, I couldn’t care less about her. 

    Jane: Wow.

    Jay: I came to law school to read, not to be following women up and down. Unfortunately, the pandemic hit and we were all asked to go home for seven months. When we came back, I started talking to two women, but Jane wouldn’t stop calling me Brostitute outside. It wasn’t really good for my reputation. 

    Jane: I’d forgotten his actual name. I saw him at the shopping mall and wanted to say hi. So I had to call him that, and he answered me.

    Jay: What reasonable person calls someone Brostitute in broad daylight? 

    Jane: It was night…

    Jay: Doesn’t change anything. 

    Was that how you started talking? 

    Jay: Not really. As she mentioned earlier, she started talking to my roommate first, and he brought her to the room a couple of times. I didn’t understand what was going on between them, but I’m very interested in other people getting into relationships. I decided to push them together, and I did a good job. Sometimes, I’d lock them in a room in hopes that something happens. Something did happen, but they kept behaving like children, so I was the mediator. It evolved into Jane and I being study partners.

    Why study partners?

    Jay: Well, we technically never studied together, but she had all the past questions for the courses we were taking, and I’d come to law school to pass. I’d go to her room occasionally to share past questions and compare notes. The strange part was when she started locking me in her room with her. 

    Jane: Wait, don’t say it like that. I heard one of his voice notes. He’s a public speaker with a good voice; his voice was very deep and nice. I asked this man talk to me like that in real-time. He did it once, but I wanted more, so I locked him in until he did it again. There was nothing romantic about it. 

    Jay: Mind you, she was already dating a new guy while she was locking me inside rooms and demanding for me to speak. Because I’m a very God-fearing and respectful guy, I didn’t pursue anything with her and started talking to another girl. But Jane was ruining another woman’s chances of being with me. Whenever the girl came over, Jane would suddenly make herself available to scare her away. 

    Jane: I wasn’t scaring anybody away o. After our final exams, while everyone else was packing and getting ready to leave, we waited till the last day to pack. Since we were already friends, we spent a lot of time together. One day, the girl he was talking to came to the room while I was on his bed and we were watching TikToks together. When she saw us, she turned and left. Honestly, I tried to feel bad for her, but I couldn’t. 

    Jay: Jane and I got a lot closer after the exams ended in March 2021. We had nothing else to do, but instead of this babe to go and meet the man she was dating, she was following me everywhere. I really pity the guy. 

    Jane: As if you were not flirting with me. When your other friend came to hang out with us, he asked us at three different points if he should leave the room for us because the tension was a lot. 

    When did you both act on this tension? 

    Jay: I think the first time was when she asked me to teach her how to choke people in the bedroom.

    Jane: No, no. It was self-defence. I was in his room, we were talking when I mentioned I was a good fighter. To prove it, I tried to choke him. He told me I wasn’t doing it right and got on top of me to show me how. It was close contact, but there was nothing sexual there for me.

    Jay: I was trying to understand her motives because while we were in this room, instead of staying on different beds, she kept staying on the same bed with me. The choking for me was to figure out how far she was willing to let me go in terms of touching her. 

    Jane: When I’m comfortable with someone, I express it through physical touch. There was nothing romantic or sexual about it for me. I was just letting him touch me. 

    However, on the last day of law school, there was a bit of sexual tension between us. Jay and I were cuddled up, then he said, “Should we make out or play a game?”

    Jay: I’d gotten frustrated with all the mixed signals. 

    Apparently, she wanted to make out with me, but she chose playing a game instead. After playing the game, she asked me if we should address the sexual tension. 

    Jane: I was trying to downplay how I was feeling but I was curious and wanted to shut him up. While he was talking and talking, I grabbed his face and kissed him. 

    But did you guys take it further? 

    Jay: Yes, but everything came to a grinding halt when I went to her place. Jane didn’t live in Lagos, but after law school, she got an apartment to stay for a while and invited me to stay with her. The first day I came around, her boyfriend called and asked to come over. She told him no, that she had a guest. 

    Jane: But were you not a guest?

    Jay: While I was there, she was trying everything within her power to get me to break and make a pass towards her.

    Jane: It’s not that deep.

    Jay: First day I came to see her she wanted us to watch American Pie 1 and 2. Who does that? 

    Jane: You hadn’t seen it before. I was doing you a service. 

    Jay: And you barely wore any clothes.

    Jane: It was my room; I was being comfortable. 

    Jay: And you asked that we play a game you made up, where you can do anything to me but I can’t touch you in return. 

    Jane: Jailer. It’s a game I like. I made him promise he won’t try to do anything with me.

    Jay: Because she didn’t trust herself. 

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    Did you keep the promise?

    Jay: Yes, but things changed when we had to go to Abuja to get called to bar. Since I didn’t do my hoe phase in law school, I decided to do it in Abuja. With clearance and the actual Call to Bar ceremony, we had to be in Abuja for about a week. 

    So, I went around asking my female friends if they wanted to stay with me through that period. I’d asked Jane as a joke, and she turned me down, but a week to the thing, she called to change her mind and I agreed. 

    Jane: He planned on keeping his own end of the promise, but I’d already forgotten about it. 

    Jay: The bed in our hotel room was small, and this woman had already changed into boxers and a tank top, so my strength was being tested heavily. On the first night, nothing happened because I kept to my own. The second night, I kept to myself again. She even wrestled me to the ground. I had to remind her of the promise. 

    Then on the third day, she told me to forget the promise and just see how things went. 

    And how did things go?

    Jay: Well, after the Call to Bar ceremony, she asked if I wanted to make it serious. I agreed, but I was half-and-half because she was still dating this other guy. Two weeks after we started dating, she told me she broke up with the other guy. 

    Why did you break up with the other guy? 

    Jane: He’d gone to Canada and I didn’t see the point in pursuing an already failed relationship with someone that’s not even in the same country with me. 

    I never told him that we were breaking up because I cheated. When he found out I was dating Jay, he thought it was one of those rebound situations.

    Are you scared history might repeat itself? 

    Jane: Yes, and so is everyone we tell the story of how we met to. All his friends think there’s a large possibility I’d do the same thing to him. But I knew deep down that the relationship with my ex wouldn’t last because we started dating during the pandemic when he’d already processed all his papers to travel. I’m not big on relationships so it’s not like I was with Jay because I was lonely in law school or anything. I have genuine feelings for him. 

    For a long time, I thought the same way our friends did, that I might cheat on him too. But I’d never do anything to hurt his feelings. 

    Even with the less-than-ideal foundation, I look back at what we have and I smile. I love him. 

    Jay: I’ve told her she has my permission to cheat on me. When she comes back, she should tell me about it, then we’d stop dating and start being best friends. 

    Jane: He’s a toxic guy, don’t mind him. 

    Tell me things you love about each other

    Jay: She’s always doing the most. It’s rare for a lady to spend so much of her money on you. She still spends my own money, but she’s always ready to give me something too. 

    When I was trying to work my NYSC to Lagos state, she wanted to financially contribute even though we didn’t know if what we were paying for would work. My birthday is in a couple of days, and I’ve been begging her not to spend anything on me, but she’s probably already spent more than my entire salary on gifts. 

    Jane: I have.

    Jay: Wonderful. She’s amazing. My favourite gifts from her are my Samsung Galaxy buds and glasses (because I’m constantly staring at my screen). She also got me a painting of myself. My parents love it so much, it’s hanging in their house. 

    Jane: I love buying him gifts. His ex never really did that for him, and I like that I have an opportunity to take care of him like that. I’m very attracted to his mind. He’s so intelligent, and he takes care of me. I have particular ways I like to eat food, so he orders me food I can eat. 

    What’s the end game for both of you?

    Jane: That’s a very stressful question for me, and I don’t know how to answer it. 

    He’s from Kogi, and his parents love me, but I’m Igbo. His parents are not fans of Igbo people. They don’t say it to my face, but they tell him and he tells me. My dad could be convinced, but my mum was scared when I told her he’s from Kogi state. She didn’t like the idea of me dating from that part of Nigeria. Now, she asks about him just to show she cares. 

    We’re just basking in our love and taking one step at a time. We don’t see ourselves breaking up any time soon. 

    Jay: I don’t like thinking too far into the future because there are so many uncertainties. In this japa economy, it’s very unlikely Jane will be in Nigeria for long because she’s too brilliant for the trajectory this country is moving towards. My parents, on the other hand, aren’t too keen on sending another child out of the country because the last one they sent, they never heard from him again. 

    But rather than endangering the entire relationship based on these variables, we’re choosing to just enjoy each other’s company. 

    On a scale of 1-10, what’ll you rate your love life? 

    Jane: 8. There are uncertainties, but we’re in a good place. 


    Jay: Before we did this interview, we planned an answer to this question. We planned to say 5. 

    Jane: I’m sorry, I forgot.

    Jay: Our relationship didn’t start on the best note, and there are certain sides of us that aren’t compatible. So it was supposed to be my five and her five to make it whole, but she didn’t stick to that. 

    Now, I’ll give it a 7. We need God’s grace and time. I don’t think the relationship can be considered a 10 because it hasn’t lasted long enough. It needs to weather the storms and be used as a model for other people’s relationships. Till we get there, we’re at a 7. 

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  • Sunken Ships is a Zikoko series that explores the how and why of the end of all relationships — familial, romantic or just good old friendships.

    Lolade* (29) and Amarachi*(29) have been best friends for over a decade. Their friendship almost ended when Lolade started dating Osas*. 

    How did you and your best friend meet? 

    Lolade: We met in church 13 years ago. It was Sunday school. There was a quiz competition for teenagers. We tied for first place and have been conquering the world together every day since. 

    That’s adorable

    Lolade: She’s one of the best things to ever happen to me. When I broke my leg and had to walk around in a cast when I was 19, she called herself my personal assistant and did everything for me. Picking up my pens that fell, helping me do the dishes at home and loosening my hair. We made promises to each other early in life that we’d stand together no matter what. 

    Sure, we got into arguments a couple of times, but we always tried to resolve it despite being very stubborn. The one time it seemed like an argument would last longer than a couple of hours, our parents got involved. They sat us down and reminded us about how much we love each other. 

    How did the guy now enter into all of this? 

    Lolade: I met Osas in 2021. I had gone out to a restaurant to eat alone because Amarachi was in a meeting with an international client. As I sat alone, trying to enjoy my own company, the waiter brought me a drink I didn’t order. When I tried to explain that it was a mix-up, she informed me that someone had sent it to me. I asked her who it was because I wanted to thank him, but all she did was give me his number on a piece of paper. That he said if I wanted to thank him, I should call him. I won’t lie, I was kind of impressed. Things like that don’t happen to me every day, so I was curious to see it through. When I got home, I sent him a text thanking him for the drink. That’s how Osas and I got to talking. 

    Was it love at first text? 

    Lolade: Not really. I mean, I don’t fall in love with people that easily, so I don’t think I’ve ever had a “love at first “ anything. I did however grow to like Osas. We went on a date about a week after the drinks thing and it was the first time I was meeting him face-to-face. Amarachi went to the restaurant we were to have our date at about thirty minutes before me so she could step in if he turned out to be a creep or a weirdo. Luckily for me, he didn’t try anything on the date. He was very respectful throughout the date and he made me laugh a lot. At one point, I texted Amarachi to meet me in the bathroom and we had a mini-session where I just filled her in on how the date was going. 

    The conversation I had with him was great and I didn’t want that night to end. Amarachi and I had planned a movie night that day and that was the only thing stopping me from going home with him. It was a long time since I had a date with a man that made me feel as good as he did. 

    Then what?

    Lolade: Well, we kept talking. We’d go on dates, he’d buy me gifts and flowers, etc. He was very determined in his pursuit of me. I liked it. I’m the firstborn and apart from Amarachi, nobody really took care of me. They all just expected me to “handle it”. Having someone who was intentional about making my life easier really made me fall fast. Two months after talking, he came over to my house one day to do my dishes because I was too lazy to do any housework. I fell for this man hard. 

    We started dating three months after our first date. I became a “my man, my man, my man” kind of girl. Every opportunity I got, I was talking about him and how amazing he treated me. I was in love with him. 

    What changed? 

    Lolade: Amarachi didn’t like him so much. Throughout the talking stage, Amarachi told me she had a bad feeling about him. Now, Amarachi is more spiritual than I am so she believes in auras and reading people’s energies. Not really my type of thing, but whenever she does it, I leave her to her devices. However, I didn’t understand why she couldn’t like him. She’d always complained to me that I settle when it comes to romantic relationships, so I didn’t understand why she wasn’t excited there was a guy finally treating me the way she had always wanted for me. 

    Whenever I mentioned I was spending time with him, she’d try to change the topic as quickly as possible. If I was telling her about something nice he did for me, she’d end it with a “that’s nice” and keep it moving. It was a side of her I hardly ever saw and it made me start keeping things about him from her. I’d lie about who I was spending time with and talking to and I knew she knew I was lying, but she never pushed. It started creating a divide. 

    Damn

    Lolade: It made me start withdrawing from her a lot. We used to have brunch every Sunday and I started skipping it a few times. Our calls became shorter and since I was almost always at Osas’ house or he was at mine, we didn’t have our sleepovers anymore. Our lifetime friendship was slipping away right before my eyes and I did nothing about it. 

    Why? 

    Lolade: I got too attached to Osas. He was doing everything for me and I liked how he made me feel. For the first time, I considered marrying someone. It felt like he was my one true shot at a fairytale life and I didn’t want to let it go. 

    When I told Osas about the whole Amarachi situation, he told me she was jealous of me. That since she’s the one used to having different guys shower her with attention, she didn’t know how to react to seeing me in a loving and thriving relationship. He encouraged me to stay away from her and ice her out from a couple of things and me, the olodo that I am, I did. 

    Amarachi didn’t stop reaching out to me. She’d text, try to call, she even emailed me, but I was not answering. One day she showed up at my office and demanded to see me or else she was not leaving. I know her, and I knew it was not an empty threat, so I went to meet her. She shouted at me in front of everyone. Called me an idiot for letting a man come between us and threatened to beat sense into my head if I didn’t act right. She reminded me of when we promised each other that we’d never argue because of a man and that here I was, refusing to speak to her because a man asked me to. Honestly, I was a bit disgusted at myself for that. Truly, how? 

    That’s when I realised that all the things I was hyping this man for doing for me, Amarachi did. She’d come to my house when I have cramps, read me bedtime stories, clean and cook. When my car was bad, she drove me to work every day even though she worked from home. She bought me flowers and even flew me out of the country once because I had complained about being exhausted from work. I think the day she showed up to my office knocked sense into my head. 

    What did you do? 

    Lolade: I broke up with him. We had been dating for almost a year at this point and were even planning to move in together. But right then and there in the office, I sent him a text saying we needed to end our relationship. I knew the right guy for me will be someone my best friend will love wholeheartedly and if she didn’t, then he was not the one. I cried a lot that day but Amarachi was there, holding my hand through it all. 

    Wow. That’s a lot

    Lolade: That’s not even the end. A couple of months later, I found out that he was arrested for fraud. Amarachi was so tickled when she found out. She still rubs it in my face that she saved me from having all my assets seized. That I’d have been using my money to hire lawyers for a criminal. I can’t imagine what would have happened to me if we were dating when he got arrested. We’d have moved in together and they’d have seized my house. What would I have done? Now, I take her gut feelings more seriously than I ever did. Before a case of “hath I known” will be my portion.

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