All the Ingredients of Every Old Nollywood Action Film

June 10, 2022

Nollywood has come such a long way. If you don’t think so, do yourself a favour and watch an old Nollywood film — an old Nollywood action film. I can promise you that you’ll find at least five of the things I’ve listed below. 

Hans Anuku and Sam Dede

Hanks Anuku was a staple in every old Nollywood film — the calm but deadly guy with the phoneh accent. Sam Dede was the bad guy always wearing all-black.

Bandana and tiny sunglasses 

Re-Sam Dede. But also, what better way to showcase gangsters without styling them all with bandanas and tiny sunglasses. To cap off the lewk, the bandana would be, either camouflage or black. 

Unnecessary sound effects 

From the exaggerated gbish-gbish sound effect to indicate punches landing, to assault rifles that sounded like Christmas knockouts, there was always one ridiculous sound or the other. 

 ALSO READ: 17 Hilariously Accurate Tweets About Nollywood

DPO’s office 

Any small thing, they showed a raggedy-looking old house turned into a police station. The DPO was always either corrupt or trying to find justice with a team of clueless policemen. 

Cult rivalry 

For some very foolish reason, two groups (cults) were always against each other. Most times, it started because someone flirted with another person’s girl. Then everybody got beaten or killed because of jealousy. 

“Uncompleted” buildings 

It’s either someone was running into one, hiding in one, or people were shooting at themselves in one. Sometimes, a kidnapped person would be hidden inside, and a gun battle would start when the police were trying to rescue the person. If the movie didn’t have a scene that involved an “uncompleted” building, was it even a Nollywood action film?

A capone 

There must be a thickset man with bodyguards following him up and down. The boys would beat up people for the capone or use other ways to put the fear of God in them. They hardly ever smiled and they only spoke Pidgin.

Aimless rolling on the floor 

If someone wasn’t rolling on the floor, the movie hadn’t started. Half the time, they were rolling on the floor either trying to shoot or dodge bullets. Didn’t it hurt to roll on the floor every time? 

Monochrome outfits 

Yeah, we get it, black is the colour of violence and darkness, but where was the creativity Were other colours on strike? When they not wearing black, they wore white so that the blood would show well when they were shot. 

Ridiculous special effects

Nobody does it like old Nollywood film editors, mehn! Because whenever they included special effects, it’s almost as if they were trying to make it obvious that the effects were… well, effects.From the guns that shot very bright yellow explosions, to the blinding fire effects, to screeching while driving? Call of Duty no do pass these ones. 

A hired assassin with a leather jacket 

So this isn’t old Nollywood, but omo, we couldn’t resist. 

Here’s the script: a hired assassin is given a picture of somebody with instructions to kill the person. They’re also given a brown envelope that contains half of the payment for the job. This transaction is always carried out in a car, and the assassin must wear a leather jacket. Because apparently, that’s what makes him badass and… dangerous(?)

 

ALSO READ: Ranked: Nobody Beats These 10 Nollywood Actresses at Crying in Movies

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

October 28, 2020

I never liked Vampire movies and series. They were always very cringy to me because why are the characters so white? And why do people drink blood? And why is the government not doing anything about it? So, so many questions. But I know that a lot of people watch them, so I’ve decided to […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

July 3, 2022

In this letter #ToHER, Tumi writes to one of her closest friends, Tolu. Tolu japa’d to America, and although she read this letter before travelling, Tumi wants everyone to know how special their friendship has been for her.

Recommended Quizzes

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

October 10, 2019

2019 is certainly Burna Boy’s year, but, if we are being honest, so was 2018. Since his transcendent mixtape, Outside, the afro-fusion star has refused to get his foot of our necks — dropping a string of fantastic singles and then capping it all off with his career-best album, African Giant.  So, in a bid […]

More from Pop

Hollywood conference
July 2, 2022

The 12th edition of ZUFF, Nollywood’s major film festival, raised the question of whether the world’s second-largest film market by the number of films can tap the continent’s huge film-making potential and leverage changing economic and technological realities.

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X