17 Hilariously Accurate Tweets About Nollywood

Daniel Orubo ●
October 30, 2015

1. The tweet about Nollywood auditions.

*auditions in Nollywood*
Director: Are you a good actor?

Person: yes

Director: then we don't need you……next!!
— consigliere (@moyodre1) October 23, 2015

2. The tweet about Nollywood love.

It's like if they've not visited a boutique in a Nollywood film or sipped juice through straws, they're not yet in love.
— T. Rankïn' ∆ (@AfroVII) October 25, 2015

3. The tweet about Nollywood homes.

That time Nollywood movies will use people's houses but would forget to take down their family portraits.
— kecy francis-anosike (@ShutUpKecy) October 6, 2015

4. The tweet about Nollywood prostitutes.

That girl is chewing gum? She must be a prostitute – Nollywood
— consigliere (@moyodre1) October 10, 2015

5. The tweet about Nollywood breakups.

Why do people in Nollywood films always have their luggage packed ready to move out?
— T. Rankïn' ∆ (@AfroVII) September 13, 2015

6. The tweet about Ahmed and his ‘clock bomb.’

In Nollywood settings, a babalawo would have told Ahmed, "My son, look at that clock on the wall, one day it would make you famous"..
— Princess Pepisko Pepeye (@MissIgho) September 17, 2015

7. The tweet about Nollywood flashbacks.

https://twitter.com/_Kinebudder/status/551098928095961088

8. The tweet about Nollywood flashbacks inside Nollywood flashbacks.

When there is a flash back inside a flash back.

Nollywood
— MakingTheRightNoise (@ThisConnectd) August 16, 2015

9. The tweet about Nollywood jazz.

Only place I've seen jazz work is in nollywood movies.
— bot. (@sageseid) August 12, 2015

10. The tweet about Nollywood witches.

It's only in Nollywood that policemen will go and bust witches inside their coven and arrest all of them.
— Online Olúbàdàn | (@gboukzi) June 17, 2015

11. The tweet about Nollywood demons.

I just watched a clip from a Nollywood movie of a pastor and a demon swordfighting, how's your morning going?
— Sir Slay (@TheBlackHermit) June 26, 2015

12. The tweet about Game of Thrones.

It was only a matter of time before Nollywood embarrassed us all #GOT pic.twitter.com/YcWnbFtDcr
— Victor Asemota (@asemota) July 7, 2014

13. The tweet about Nollywood phone calls.

Man is calling twitter. Only in Nollywood pic.twitter.com/ekpQf4SqJw
— Salma (@Salmaaa_O) January 21, 2014

14. The tweet about Nollywood men.

It's only in Nollywood that man will carry ashewo to a hotel to smash and end up ministering the word of the Lord to her.
— Premium Babe (@OriginalMgbeke) January 26, 2014

15. The tweet about Nollywood deaths.

Only in Nollywood movie that someone will die when the gun pointed at them did not get fired. Lol
— SisiYėmmié.com 💛 (@Sisi_Yemmie) June 14, 2013

16. The tweet about Nollywood ghosts

Nollywood will not kill me,how can an actor die wearing ankara and his ghost comes back wearing jeans abi boutique dey for heaven ni ?
— Comedian LaughorYawn (@LaughorYawn) October 24, 2015

17. The tweet about Nollywood HIV tests.

I blame Nollywood, I mean if they're using stethoscope to test for HIV why won't Nigerians think antibiotics can cure it?
— Sir Slay (@TheBlackHermit) November 26, 2014

Written by
Daniel Orubo

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