If you’ve ever (or never) wondered what Sola Sobowale does when she’s not being Eniola Salami, or what Ramsey Nouah is up to when he’s not doing lover boy, then we wrote this article for you.
Sola Sobowale would own a buka
I can vividly imagine Sola Sobowale running a buka that’s successful because everyone talks about it and not necessarily because the food is great. She and her staff of young women and that one male manager who collects money will be rude to customers. They just have to be. It’s part of the business. And their food portions? Even Buhari knows the economy isn’t THAT bad.
Zack Orji’s spare parts business would bloom
See, I’m not even being tribalistic — everyone I’ve ever bought spare parts from reminds me of Zack Orji. And it’s not about being Igbo, no. It’s just the confidence, the ability to look me in the eyes and convince me this new O2 sensor will serve me for the next seven years. If Zack Orji points to my face and tells me to bring out all my money to buy something he’s selling, I’m doing it. No questions.
Osita Iheme would give Nigerian rappers a run for their money
Have you heard this man’s flow? Are you joking? He’s not even just a rapper, he can dance too! When Blaqbonez wakes up today, he should just thank God Osita Iheme chose to be Pawpaw and not O Da Wickedest.
RMD would make your sugar daddy look like a joke
If you think being a sugar daddy isn’t a job on its own, you’re truly mistaken. These things require skill and dedication, and there’s no better man for the job than this legend. In fact, if you imagine him being your babe’s sugar daddy and you feel terrible about it, then you have a problem.
Patience Ozokwor would be your disappointing tailor
Somewhere in an alternate universe, a bride is in tears because it’s her wedding day and Patience’s Plush Luxury has used her wedding gown material to sew something else for another person. Another person is calling her out on Instagram for doing “what I ordered vs what I got”. But Patience doesn’t send anybody’s daddy. Her motto is: “You can insult my work, but don’t insult me. In fact you can’t even insult me.”
Funke Akindele would find a job with NURTW
We don’t know the job role or title o, but Funke would thrive in NURTW. Whether it’s as a chairman, collecting money she didn’t work for, or as a foot soldier stopping busses to collect levies, she’d kill it.
Genevieve would do makeup tutorials on YouTube
Close your eyes. Now imagine Genevieve in front of your screen saying, “Hey guysssss! Welcome back to my YouTube channelllllll!” The way it fits perfectly, I can almost swear I’ve seen her do that before.
Ramsey Nouah’s upscale nkwobi joint would slap
You know those joints where rich people come to network and discuss how to steal some more money? Ramsey Nouah would own one of them. Because he’s rich himself, he’ll create the spot as a haven for people like him to meet. At the end of the night, he’ll say the food and drinks are on the house, not out of generosity, but because he just secured yet another multimillion-dollar project from one of the customers.