Let’s be honest, the entire debate for pet superiority between dog lovers and cat lovers is getting old and boring. We get it” dogs are loyal as fuck, and cats are evil but still cute, yada yada yada. 

If it’s not pictures of nine cats littered around an old woman’s living room, it’s a video of a dog going to the place where his now deceased owner went every day. We’re tired.

But has anyone ever thought, “What if dogs and cats aren’t actually the best pets?” What if, somewhere out there, there’s an animal so cute and so perfect that once people realise they can have it as a pet, it’s curtains up for dogs and cats. Well, the animal exists, and it’s *drumrolls* the goat!

If you think we’re crazy, we’ll convince you of goat superiority with these ten points of mine.

1. They have cute smiles

Everyone is posting pictures of their cats and dogs online and all the comments are going, “Awwww”, but do you know what’s missing from those pictures? Smiles. Goats are ready to pose for your picture and smile always.

2. They’re not expensive to maintain

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Dog owners and cat owners spend a whole month working, just so they can use their entire salary to buy canned food, supplements, body products and drugs for their pets. You’re not using supplements, but your pet is taking daily medication to make their fur shine. Isn’t it ment? With goats, just find a place with grass, or leftovers, or yam peels, and that’s all. Skin care? Leave it to them; they can take care of themselves.

3. They don’t bite

Imagine having to beg someone that came all the way to visit you to come inside your compound, because you forgot to tell them you have a dog, and now, that dog is threatening to unalive them if they enter the gate. You now have to resort to saying, “He doesn’t bite, don’t worry.” DID HE TELL YOU HE DOESN’T BITE?

But you know what cute animal won’t bite? Goats.

4. They’re playful as hell

When people say goats are stubborn, what they actually mean is that goats are extremely playful. Why do you think they call little children kids? Look at that picture above and tell me you don’t want to see that every day.

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5. Owning a goat immediately increases your “coolness points”

If you want to stand out and appear cool, don’t do the same thing everyone is doing. Do something different and stand out. Buy a goat today.

6. If you’re a plant parent, you automatically have manure

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No need to spend money on expensive manure anymore. You now have a manure manufacturing machine in your house. You can even start selling at some point, because goats poop a lot.

7. They won’t pee or poop in your house because you’re not even letting them in

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Cat and dog owners are always complaining about their animals peeing in weird places in their houses. Is it not animals you let inside that will poop on your bed?

8. You’ll never waste food again because they’ll eat all your leftovers. They’re not selective

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You’ll give a cat expensive food, and the yeye cat look at it, hiss and walk away? Ehn? Food that I bought with my hard-earned Buhari naira?. Can never be goats. They will eat anything. If you like, put your university certificate beside them, they will eat it too.

9. You can explore names of actual GOATs like Messi, Davido, Wizkid, and Ronaldo

These days, when people say “GOAT”, they mean “Greatest of all Time”. Now imagine how cool it would be to name your goat Ayodeji Balogun. That’ll make him  both THE GOAT and a goat at the same time. Simple maths. GOAT.

10. And if worse comes to worst, they’ll feed you (*wink wink*)

We didn’t say anything o. Just look at this beautiful plate of asun.

QUIZ: Which Pet Should You Get?


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