The Zikoko Guide To Being A Good Plant Owner

March 25, 2021

What differentiates a normal plant owner from a good one, are the things on this list.

1) The richer you are, the better

Majority of all the good plant owners in the world have money. At this point, maybe plants are a new sign of wealth. Any person you know that has more than two plants, bill them. They have money.

2) Have an aesthetic

To step up your game from normal plant owner to boss plant parent extraordinaire, you need an aesthetic. The aesthetic is the vibe needed to let people know you have arrived, and you are a good plant owner. The colours for this aesthetic should be either green, brown, or white.

3) Commit murder a few times

You cannot be successful without trying and failing a few times. Some of your plants must have died as a result of neglect, but that’s okay. It only makes you better.

4) Own as little furniture as possible

At this point, the minimalist lifestyle is all you know. What is furniture if not waste of space persevering?

Nigerian Constitution

5) Constantly post about your plants

Make at least two or three posts a day on social media talking about your plants. You can even go the extra mile by creating social media accounts for the plants and responding to their posts with your personal account.

6) Name your plants

Your plants should have cool, pretty names. They could even be in your traditional language. It is important to do so, you the plant becomes family. Also, you elevate your status from plant owner, to plant parent.

7) Surround yourself with your “children”

Every corner of your house should be surrounded by plants. That way, your children always keep you company. Who needs friends when you have plants?

For more guides on how to best live your life, click here


Itohan Esekheigbe

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