The Zikoko Guide To Being A Good Plant Owner

March 25, 2021

What differentiates a normal plant owner from a good one, are the things on this list.

1) The richer you are, the better

Majority of all the good plant owners in the world have money. At this point, maybe plants are a new sign of wealth. Any person you know that has more than two plants, bill them. They have money.

2) Have an aesthetic

To step up your game from normal plant owner to boss plant parent extraordinaire, you need an aesthetic. The aesthetic is the vibe needed to let people know you have arrived, and you are a good plant owner. The colours for this aesthetic should be either green, brown, or white.

3) Commit murder a few times

You cannot be successful without trying and failing a few times. Some of your plants must have died as a result of neglect, but that’s okay. It only makes you better.

4) Own as little furniture as possible

At this point, the minimalist lifestyle is all you know. What is furniture if not waste of space persevering?

Nigerian Constitution

5) Constantly post about your plants

Make at least two or three posts a day on social media talking about your plants. You can even go the extra mile by creating social media accounts for the plants and responding to their posts with your personal account.

6) Name your plants

Your plants should have cool, pretty names. They could even be in your traditional language. It is important to do so, you the plant becomes family. Also, you elevate your status from plant owner, to plant parent.

7) Surround yourself with your “children”

Every corner of your house should be surrounded by plants. That way, your children always keep you company. Who needs friends when you have plants?

For more guides on how to best live your life, click here


Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

how tall are you
March 11, 2020

Did your parents give you enough beans when you were growing up? If they did, then you’re probably around 6’0″ and above. Either way, we created a quiz that can guess your current height (pretty accurately, if we do say so ourselves). Take to see if we nailed it:

November 25, 2019

We already guessed how many people you’ve slept with, and y’all were out here denying the truth. Anyway, we won’t hold that against you. This time, however, we’ve created a quiz that predicts who you’ll sleep with next — so you can either prepare or try (unsuccessfully) to prevent it. So, take and see:

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X