7 Sure-Fire Ways to Get a Glucose Guardian

July 24, 2022

Let’s face it, adulting sucks.. Even with all your hard work, the struggle to survive until your next paycheck continues every day. So for you to enjoy the soft life, you need free money. But who’s going to give you free money? A sugar mummy/daddy. These are the sure-banker ways to find your dream glucose guardian.

Package yourself

We keep saying this thing about dressing the way you want to be addressed but you’ve refused to listen? Fix up and your sugar parent will locate you. But if that fails…?

Find out where they like to hang out and go there

Were you expecting them to come and meet you at your house before? Smh. Take a day off from capitalism and explore the places you think potential glucose guardians might be. Make sure you go alone — or with one friend at most — get a seat at the centre of the place, and whenever you’re asked a question talk really loudly in your best British accent.

In case you didn’t know: All the Places You Can Find a Nigerian Sugar Daddy

Cold DM or email them

Being a sugar baby is a full-time job, so you have to take it seriously. Do your research and send them a DM or email. We’ll always suggest you reach out to them with your cover letter stating all the amazing things you bring to the table. Also attach testimonials of your “work, a hot JPEGs and your Whatsapp number.

Ask your friends

Charity begins at home. You keep saying your friends’ houses feel like home, but why not ask them about their parents. Won’t they rather it be you than a random stranger who may try to break up their family in future? 

Best case scenario, it works out and everyone’s happy. Worst case, you know who your real friends are. 

Convince your employer

You’ll be sure they have money to give you — and they already liked you to the extent of employing you. So while others are asking for a raise or bonuses or extra perks, you should be busy trying to convince them to be your glucose guardian. 

RELATED: 10 Nigerian Memes To Make Your Boss Fall In Love With You 

Pray 

Do you need us to explain this one too? Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can’t get one by yourself, maybe you need help. You probably prayed and that’s why you found this article. 

RELATED: All the Many Characteristics of a God-Fearing Sugar Daddy

Think like an ant 

Half of the time, these restrictions are of the mind. Because think about it, how do ants always find the sugar? No matter where you keep it, they’ll always find it. It’s the strong will for us. So study ants and learn from them — even the Bible said you should. 

ALSO READ: How to Get Your Crush to Notice You Online

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

August 13, 2022

The subject of this week’s Sex Life is a 25-year-old queer woman who owns half a dozen sex toys and wants more. She talks about her sex toy curiosity, the trial and errors before she found the perfect ones and how she navigates sex with people. 

Recommended Quizzes

April 9, 2020

At some point in life, we all learnt that someone can be very intelligent and still lack common sense. That’s the difference between being book smart and being street smart. If you’re not sure where on the spectrum you fall, well, that’s what this quiz is here to tell you. Take it:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

December 5, 2019

We already tried to guess how much you have in your account and your current net worth, and we think we did a pretty great job (keep any complaints to yourself). Now, we’re going to try and guess your monthly salary based on your relationship with money. Oya, take the quiz: 11 Timed Quizzes For […]

November 28, 2019

There are so many talented and stunning Nollywood actors that make it hard not to fall in love with them. So, while we all know the likelihood of us ending up with any of them is super low, it’s still fun to imagine a world where we actually stood a chance, and that’s why this […]

More from Inside Life

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X