• It’s May 27, and while the kids get to take the day off as a public holiday, capitalism denies adults — who are actual children of their parents — this satisfaction. But who says you can’t steal some of your employer’s time to binge-watch a cartoon or two that’ll help you make crass jokes about your adulthood struggles?

    7 Animations to Binge-Watch as an Adult on Children’s Day

    We curated a list of seven grown-up animations to get you started.

    “Big Mouth”

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?si=0XTJVsv_aRg1MNHN&v=mUrkcvGvvrM&feature=youtu.be

    Don’t be fooled by the weird-looking hormone monster, Big Mouth focuses on puberty and the awkward experiences of teenagers. It goes heavy on topics like hormones, sexuality and body changes in an unhinged way. If you struggled with sexual awkwardness as a teen, you’ll relate heavily to this animation. Plus, it’s funny as hell.

    “Bojark Horseman”

    Think about all the existential crises you’ve experienced as a Nigerian adult, and you’ll find yourself jotting things down when you watch this animation. Bojark Horseman follows the life of a washed-up Hollywood horse dealing with depression, addiction and self-destructive behaviour. It’s a dark comedy with mature themes and many relatable moments that’ll have you muttering “God, abeg.”

    “Family Guy”

    One thing about this show? You’ll catch yourself asking the question, “How the hell did they allow this to air on TV?” repeatedly. Family Guy is unhinged in all the ways you can think of, and it’s worse because it references real-life events, relying heavily on slapstick humour and offensive jokes.

    “Rick and Morty”

    This show follows the story of a mad scientist grandpa who takes his teenage grandson on crazy adventures across dimensions. It has the right mix of violence and profanity that makes for good adult humour.

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    “South Park”

    One fun fact about this show? It’s been serving crass humour since 1997. South Park is notorious for social and political satire often delivered in a vulgar way. It uses profanity and violence and tackles mature themes in a way that resonates with grown-up minds.

    American Dad

    Like Family Guy, this show uses offensive humour to drive its plot and often revolves around dysfunctional family situations. Characters like Steve and Roger deliver the show’s adult jokes with no restraint. If you binge an entire season, you might catch an episode bashing capitalism for making you work on a Children’s Day holiday.

    The Simpsons

    The show follows the Simpsons, an American middle-class family living in the fictional town of Springfield. It also uses adult humour to poke fun at American culture, TV, politics and everyday human experiences. The Simpsons is famous for referencing pop culture and historical events.

    Read this next: Seven Nigerians on How They Keep Their Inner Child Alive

  • Apart from Christmas and New Year’s, one holiday that excited me as a child was Children’s Day. Listen, it was a thing at home and in school. My mum made it a point to take us out, there was always a special activity or two in school, and a party for kids in our estate. 

    As an adult, it’s safe to say all that excitement has gone with the wind. Children’s Day is four days away, and I really couldn’t give a rat’s ass about it. It doesn’t help that it falls on capitalism’s favourite day of the week, Monday. But I recently caught a friend’s WhatsApp status and she seemed pretty giddy about it, and for a moment, I envied her. I missed that little boy who used to love this holiday and all other childish things. 

    Curiosity made me slide into her DM and find six other Nigerians to share how they keep their inner child alive. 

    Demola*, 31

    I indulge on those things that seemed elusive as a child because of money. Like buying ₦20k suya that I can’t finish, buying stupid gadgets I never use, withdrawing money just to stare at it, binge-watching anime and cartoons and anonymously commenting things that’ll sound stupid to any adult online.

    Nofisat*, 28

    I’m the only child of my parents, so I’ll always be the baby of the house. When adulthood comes with all its wahala, I just pack my bag and go back home to spend time with my parents. There’s a way they dote on me that makes me feel childlike. I can’t explain it, and I also don’t know if it’s the “only child” factor. My room has stayed the same for as long as I remember. So it still gives me that nostalgia of my little self getting prepped to go to school in the morning. 

    Aishat*, 29

    I try to keep doing the things I enjoy even if there’s no one to tag along. I attend a lot of events that are themed around adults having fun like children, like fun fairs. I also surround myself with people who enjoy the same things, and it helps me stay in touch with my inner child. 

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    Bolanle*, 40

    Toys were my thing as a child. Think of all the superhero figures, barbie sets, Legos, stuffed teddies, I had them all. On every birthday, I was always so excited about the new toys I’d add to my collection. At some point, I started saving up to buy the toys. As an adult, this love for toys has translated into a love for gadgets. Kitchen, home, office, bathroom and accessories, I’m always curious about all these things, so I end up buying them. It always makes me feel like I just got a new toy.

    Dotun*, 37

    I spend an obscene amount of time watching cartoons, and I’m a complete irritant while at it. You’ll see me laughing loudly and even pausing to mimic some of the characters. I remember an ex-girlfriend said, “I’m too old to be acting a fool for cartoons.” We had a fight afterwards. Life is hard enough and these cartoons help me forget I’m a man with bills to pay and other adulthood troubles to deal with.

    Kenny*, 30

    I eat a lot of junk food. This was a big part of my childhood. It was a thing with my mum because she used to get us biscuits, sweets and all sorts whenever we were shopping for school resumption. She didn’t just buy what she thought we would like, she took us along and we got to pick the stuff we liked. As an adult, that’s something that makes me feel like a child all over again, whether it’s when I’m eating or shopping for junk. I always have a special budget for it when I shop for groceries. Some of the traders assume I’m shopping for kids. I don’t even bother to tell them that I’m the big baby that needs spoiling.

    James*, 25

    I like playing a lot. I’m the uncle kids love to have around because they know I’ll roll in the dirt with them if they want me to. I’m the uncle who’ll sit down to play with their toys, play hide and seek and watch cartoons with them. I remember attending this house party with some new friends and when they asked for game suggestions I mentioned “boju boju”. Everybody had this “Guy, really?” expression on their face. If only they knew I was dead serious. 

    Read this next: 30 of the Dumbest Things Nigerians Did As Kids

  • Is adulthood going through you, or are you handling it like a pro?

    Select all the things you can relate to:


    QUIZ: How Good Are You At Adulting?

  • Adulthood is a scam and we’re all sick of it.

    Take this quiz and we’ll guess the worst part of adulthood for you.

  • Whether it’s capitalism stressing you day-in-day-out, or you’re just tired of being an adult, you need to unwind sometimes because adulting is a scam. Here’s how to take a breather from it all and get your juice back.

    Get off social media

    Life was simpler and less stressful when you didn’t know your neighbour’s first wife got a G-Wagon as a push gift. Don’t let anybody pressure you, my dear. Get offline and rest. 

    How to take a breather

    Sleep – plenty of sleep

    Even though sleep solves nothing, at least you’ll escape all the stress for a while before adulthood sends you a smiley face once again.

    How to take a breather

    Buy yourself some scented candles

    Nobody can explain exactly how scented candles make you feel so relaxed, but they do. Cop yourself a few and chill out from all the stress. You’ve tried.

    Or make a few of them yourself

    Why shell out money to buy something when you can make it yourself? Adulthood shouldn’t still be billing because you want to unwind.

    How to take a breather

    RELATED: Zikoko’s Guide to Unplugging From the Stress of Nigeria


    Move back to your parents’ house

    As one pepper-loving tribe would say, “if you can’t go forward, try going back to where you’re coming from”. If you miss that childhood peace so much, just call your parents and tell them you’re coming home for the weekend because adulthood is stressing their baby.

    how to take a breather

    Hang out with friends

    No, we don’t mean go to the club and start singing Asake’s Palazzo at the top of your voice. Plan a games night, or go for a sip and paint with your friends.

    this is how to take a breather

    Move in with your partner

    Unless your partner is one of the things stressing your life, moving in with them for a weekend might not be a bad idea. But if you stay for longer than one weekend, whatever you see, just take it like that.

    Spend time around nature

    Most of your stress comes from spending too much time in traffic, especially if you live in Lagos. Go on a boat cruise, or enjoy a walk along the beach and make sandcastles like you’re 15. 

    Do some arts and crafts

    The point here is to escape adulthood. Maybe the best way is to start doing the things you did as a child. Make a clay pot, or weave a few baskets. Something to forget that you still have capitalism to return to.


    Life’s tough so you need to unwind once in a while. There’s no better place to do this than at Breather Renaissance. They offer sessions for different arts and crafts experiences like painting, pottery, tie and dye, basket weaving, and many more. Check them out at @breather.ng on Instagram and book a session.

  • A simple solution to the cubicles sorry houses they build in Nigeria these days would be bigger houses, but Lagos landlords would rather chew iron. So in this article, I shared some pro tips to make your bedroom look bigger. Even if you don’t live in a mansion, the least you can do is get your bedroom to fake it.

    Clear all your clutter

    Your room will keep looking like a cubicle if you handle it like a pig sty. Nothing in this article will help you if all your stuff’s scattered. At least, stuff them in your wardrobe and pretend.

    Get longer curtains, and place them higher

    Source: littlehouselovely.co.uk

    Curtains aren’t cheap. Heck, they’re the most expensive basic furnishing you’ll have to purchase. But they’re essential if you don’t want people to see your nakedness. The idea with curtains is to place them closer to the ceiling. People will focus on the height and see things much bigger than they actually are.

    RELATED: Home Is a Shapeshifting Concept

    Or ditch curtains entirely

    Our forefathers didn’t have them, and they were fine. And again, they’re expensive. The goal is to have fewer items in your room, and heavy curtains can make it appear choked up. If you can’t live without them, blinds are less bulky and more pleasing to the eye.

    Move your mirrors closer to natural light

    First,

    To make your space more like a home, get a full-length mirror. Squeeze ₦8k – ₦10k into your carpenter’s hand, and you should be fine. As long as you keep the frame as basic as possible.

    When you get the mirror, put it close to your window. The reflective light will make you think the space is bigger as the reflection of the view outside just opens up the room a lot more.

    RELATED: 5 Items That’ll Destroy Your Bank Account When Furnishing Your Home

    Keep your furniture closer to the ground

    Source: People Magazine

    A mattress on the floor has the potential to make your room look bigger because it leaves more space than a huge bedframe. You need to avoid high furniture in general because they take up more room.

    White all the way

    If you’re not down for white, nude is the next best thing. But whatever you pick, keep the colours light. Don’t go painting your entire room purple because you’ll wake up one day asking yourself why. The lighter the colour, the more light you get into the room, and remember what we said about light and the illusion of space?

    Match your wall with the furniture

    Like a man’s belt and shoes, you need the colours in your room to be coordinated. Once you’re out there buying a pink bed and painting your walls yellow, there’s nothing we can do for you again. 

    If you want more details on how much it costs to furnish your home, check out this article: “Basic Furnishing Cost Me ₦2m” — How Much Are Nigerians Spending on Their Homes?

  • Let’s face it, adulting sucks.. Even with all your hard work, the struggle to survive until your next paycheck continues every day. So for you to enjoy the soft life, you need free money. But who’s going to give you free money? A sugar mummy/daddy. These are the sure-banker ways to find your dream glucose guardian.

    Package yourself

    We keep saying this thing about dressing the way you want to be addressed but you’ve refused to listen? Fix up and your sugar parent will locate you. But if that fails…?

    Find out where they like to hang out and go there

    Were you expecting them to come and meet you at your house before? Smh. Take a day off from capitalism and explore the places you think potential glucose guardians might be. Make sure you go alone — or with one friend at most — get a seat at the centre of the place, and whenever you’re asked a question talk really loudly in your best British accent.

    In case you didn’t know: All the Places You Can Find a Nigerian Sugar Daddy

    Cold DM or email them

    Being a sugar baby is a full-time job, so you have to take it seriously. Do your research and send them a DM or email. We’ll always suggest you reach out to them with your cover letter stating all the amazing things you bring to the table. Also attach testimonials of your “work, a hot JPEGs and your Whatsapp number.

    Ask your friends

    Charity begins at home. You keep saying your friends’ houses feel like home, but why not ask them about their parents. Won’t they rather it be you than a random stranger who may try to break up their family in future? 

    Best case scenario, it works out and everyone’s happy. Worst case, you know who your real friends are. 

    Convince your employer

    You’ll be sure they have money to give you — and they already liked you to the extent of employing you. So while others are asking for a raise or bonuses or extra perks, you should be busy trying to convince them to be your glucose guardian. 

    RELATED: 10 Nigerian Memes To Make Your Boss Fall In Love With You 

    Pray 

    Do you need us to explain this one too? Desperate times call for desperate measures. If you can’t get one by yourself, maybe you need help. You probably prayed and that’s why you found this article. 

    RELATED: All the Many Characteristics of a God-Fearing Sugar Daddy

    Think like an ant 

    Half of the time, these restrictions are of the mind. Because think about it, how do ants always find the sugar? No matter where you keep it, they’ll always find it. It’s the strong will for us. So study ants and learn from them — even the Bible said you should. 

    ALSO READ: How to Get Your Crush to Notice You Online

  • Problems apparently never end in this life, especially if you live in Nigeria. But we can guess your biggest headache when you take this quiz.

  • Have you ever felt like you’re in the wrong body? Like they got your age wrong at the hospital and now you’re being forced to adult even though you clearly identify with a different generation?

    Then you should take this quiz.

  • Nothing beats the fantasy of living alone and on your own terms. But how prepared are you for the cost of actually owning a home? If you plan on moving out soon, this article is for you. 

    Here’s what 8 Nigerian millennials spent on furnishing their homes. Note: curtains are the worst.

    Location: Shangisha Magodo, Lagos

    Total cost: ₦2 million

    Before I moved into my apartment in 2019, I lived in my family house. I was 27 and my relationship had gotten to a point where I needed full privacy. Since it was just my cousins, siblings and me, we had to take care of everything we needed in the house. So I knew how expensive things could get to furnish a home. I knew exactly what I wanted.

    A two-bedroom apartment was my target. Aesthetics were very important to me too, and plants were at the top of the decor list. My babe and I love plants, so I was going for at least seven to ten in our apartment. By the time I had the basics like paintings, curtains and setting up furniture — including a standard workstation because my job was a hybrid set-up — I had spent ₦2 million.

    I can’t remember the cost of each item, but the most expensive things were within the ₦200k – ₦350k mark each. I’m still asking myself where I got the money from.

    Here’s a breakdown, excluding miscellaneous costs:

    — Femi*, 30

    Location: Jabi, Abuja

    Total cost: ₦100k

    I moved into my first Nigerian apartment in 2020. Before then, I’d lived in the UK for a year doing my master’s, and my apartment came with furniture and basic living room and kitchen items. Compared to moving to Abuja on my own, that was heaven.

    My style is minimalist and clean. But with the ₦250k salary I was earning, even the furniture I wanted was too expensive. The average price range was ₦145k for a single-seater, ₦365k for a two-seater and ₦385k for a three-seater sofa. Those prices were ridiculous to me. I was also sceptical about using roadside carpenters who were even charging like ₦200k plus for a regular bed. Why?

    RELATED: How Nigeria’s Housing Problem Is Affecting Nigerians

    So I moved into the apartment with no furniture. For the time being, I’ve made a makeshift bed that cost me ₦20k while I save up. The thing I’ve sorted out, for now, are the curtains. They cost me ₦80k plus installations for four windows. And it’s not that the material was expensive. The thicker and more costly materials were going for ₦120k – ₦150k. That will be for another time. 

    — Lydia*, 26

    Location: Avontrou, Benin Republic

    Total cost: ₦30k

    I go to school in Benin Republic. February last year, I decided to get an apartment mostly out of frustration from living in the hostels. I live in Avontrou and my place costs ₦30,500 weekly. That’s about the most reasonable price for a good quality apartment here. But there are student-friendly prices, around ₦10k – ₦15k weekly.

    As for furnishing, my parents gifted me all my furniture except a mattress which cost ₦30k — someone needs to explain why beds are so expensive. Then, I stole curtains from my dad’s office. I’m not interested in any more expenses until I’m done with school.

    — Michelle*, 21

    Location: Gbagada, Lagos

    Total cost: ₦180k

    I moved into my first apartment in 2019. I was earning about ₦125k monthly at the time, so my budget was obviously low. I needed a place that wasn’t expensive and too far from my office at Gbagada. When I finally got one, the rent was ₦350k per year. I also paid the ₦60k agency and agreement fees and ₦30k caution fee. 

    I had to renovate it to make it liveable, but I didn’t consider aesthetics at all. I didn’t have money for that. The major thing I did was install metal burglaries over the door and windows. That cost ₦100k. Then, I painted the house and changed the tiles in my bathroom for ₦80k. 

    RELATED: Home Is a Shapeshifting Concept

    The apartment was convenient until earlier this year (2022) when I decided I could get a much better place. My monthly earnings have increased to an average of ₦380k, but you can’t get a decent one-room apartment on the Island for ₦800k right now except if you go as far as Sangotedo.

    I’d love to have a nice aesthetic in my new home. But the cost of rent alone is scary. The logical option is to furnish in phases.

    — Jane*, 27

    Location: Anambra

    Total Cost: ₦40k 

    Before I moved into my one-bedroom flat in November 2020, I lived in a self-contained that cost ₦75k yearly. This was during my master’s degree program at a faculty under Nnamdi Azikiwe University in Agulo village, Anambra. After school, I decided to move to a more urban area, Awka. 

    I got a job as a public health worker, but the bulk of my money came from sewing and selling yoghurt. I was making about ₦100k by 2018. That’s how I raised enough to move to Awka. My new apartment costs ₦250k yearly, so when I moved in, furnishing was not at the top of my list because I’d spent the majority of my money on rent. 

    RELATED: Adulting: 5 Nigerians on Things They Find Expensive as Adults

    For now, my aesthetics are sapa-inspired. For the first four months, the sunlight woke me up every morning because I didn’t have curtains. The sellers were charging ₦80k each. I couldn’t afford it so I went for blinds, which still cost ₦40k each.

    I’m at the point where I have to hit my fan before it comes on, and I can’t afford to buy air conditioners because my finances have dwindled over the years. I stopped sewing too; slouching all day gave me back pain. I’m focused on getting a job that’ll pay me enough. When I get one, all the sapa-inspired aesthetics will end.

    — Bridget*, 30

    Location: Mombasa, Kenya

    Total Cost: ₦901k

    I moved out of my parents’ house in 2021, and I got an apartment in Port Harcourt. Compared to Lagos, prices were reasonable there. But curtains were bloody expensive. One cost ₦60k. Why, please? By the end of the year, I had to move to Mombasa, Kenya for school. 

    Things there were six times the cost I’d spent trying to furnish in Port Harcourt. So I focused on the most essential things. First, I got an orthopaedic bed that cost 29k shillings (approx. ₦162k). I carried my PS4 from Nigeria and got a TV for 77k shillings (approx. ₦430k). Then, I got four blinds for 18k shillings (approx. ₦110k). Finally, I got my air conditioner for 35,500 shillings (₦199k). Omo, I haven’t actually sat down to look at the cost of things. I’m sure there were more, but these were the most pricey.

    — Richard*, 21

    Location: Portsmouth, United Kingdom (UK)

    Total cost: ₦765k-₦1m

    When I moved to the UK in 2017, I opted for a shared apartment because the rent was expensive. And my share cost £350 (approx. ₦179k). The apartment came furnished with some janky couches, chairs and beds. But one time, my roommate sat on the couch and it broke. They were clearly not made for black boys.

    Buying something brand new in the UK was out of the question. I’m talking £400+ (₦204k+) for a single couch! We had to tell the landlord to get us another one instead. He brought a black leather couch that had coins and stuff from God knows where. So he definitely either gave us his own couch or bought it off Facebook Marketplace. 

    RELATED: These Ridiculous Rules Prove That Nigerian Landlords Are From Hell 

    My bed was also destroying my back after a year. So I had to tell the landlord to change that too. A new bed cost about £300 (approx. ₦153k). If I had to replace it on my own, I’d have just slept on the floor like my ancestors. 

    So in the UK, you don’t furnish except you want to be extra. Most of the cost goes into rent, which can be between £750 – £800 (approx. ₦383k – ₦408k), and utilities like electricity, heat and WI-FI. If I get something, it’s a thrift piece. Like my TV that cost £120 (approx. ₦61k). Other costs of living come in too. The other day, the microwave broke down. That was £40 (approx. ₦20k) gone to fix it. 

    RELATED: 18 Things That Are Too Real for Any Nigerian Who Has Ever Gone House Hunting

    Also, the UK is set up in a way that you always need to split the bill. The cost of living is high. Right now, I’m looking for a new place to live because my landlord wants to sell the house. I’m also getting married so I need my own space. That’s a nice £150 – £200 (approx. ₦77k – ₦102k) on kitchen utensils alone. Full furnishing would likely be £1,500 or £2,000 (approx. ₦765k-₦1m).

    — Ben*, 27

    Location: Gbagada, Lagos

    Total cost: ₦750k 

    I moved out of my mother’s house when I finished university in 2019. I was going for a minimalistic vibe because I really didn’t have the money to do anything grand. My modelling career was just kicking off. But I also didn’t want clutter in my space because it was a small one-bedroom apartment. 

    I didn’t have enough money to fully furnish until 2020. I got a bulk amount and took out ₦500k to re-do my home. First, I got furniture. I was going for something that wouldn’t encourage people to stay in my house for too long. So the chair didn’t have any arm or backrest. But it cost ₦50k because of the pink suede material. 

    RELATED: Read This if You Want To Hack House Hunting in Lagos

    I bought a fake plant that was way more expensive than a real plant at ₦25k. But a real one would’ve died; there was no need to spend money on it. The truth is, forming minimalist was way more expensive. Things like painting my living room satin white cost more than ₦50k. Way more expensive than painting my room (which is way bigger) purple. Painting and screeding the whole house cost 100k. 

    Oh, and my vanity mirror cost ₦40k to make, excluding the chair and table. I racked up ₦500k on my floating shelves, LED lights for Youtube and new cupboard doors. Then, curtains! I can’t remember how much they cost, but it was ridiculous — I was better off with window blinds. If we’re adding my inverter, it cost ₦250k.

    I actually can’t complain because if I’d gone to a regular store, I would’ve spent at least ₦500k on furniture alone. And that was two years ago. 

    — Dolapo*, 24

    ALSO READ: 7 People Talk About How Much It Costs To Live In Abuja