Let me start this article by saying that women don’t cheat. My queens are loyal and not capable of infidelity. , It’s not even a concept that exists for us.  The situations below are just hypothetical situations—you know, just for the fun of it. So, in a world where women cheat (a world that doesn’t exist), here are six signs that you are the side guy.

You never get to meet her friends

This is a major tell.  When a woman wants to show off someone she really likes, she first introduces him/her to her friends, also known as “The boyfriend approval panel”. If you don’t meet them, you’re definitely the side guy. That being said, the fact that you meet her friends doesn’t mean you’re not the side guy o. Women are so smart, you could be the side guy and still meet her friends. Fear women.

No photos of you exist

If there’s one thing that women love, it’s taking pictures with their partners, even if they aren’t posting it anywhere. If you’ve been dating her for a while, it’s normal that there would be photos of you on social media or just on her phone. But if you try to take a photo with her and she tells you to not post it online, run o. The reason she might tell you is because she’s a “private person ” but come oooon, we all know what this means.

She doesn’t acknowledge you on social media

If she makes statements on social media that start with or have “This man…” my dear, forget it, you’re the side piece. If she’s being vague online about her relationship or acts like she’s not in a relationship, you’re definitely not THE  boyfriend. And her reason for it would be “I like to keep my personal life private”. Liessssss! So, she’s not posting pictures of both of you, and she’s not acknowledging the relationship at all on social media?  In the words of famous philosopher David Adeleke A.K.A Davido “something fishy’s going down”.

She’s not into any form of PDA

This isn’t always one of the sure signs you’re her side piece because some people are just not into PDA, but if she refuses to even hold your hand, welp. Without PDA, she can easily deny you and say you’re just a friend, we call that plausible deniability.

She missed holidays and important dates

If she is always missing out on important dates, that’s another sign that there is no real commitment. Okay let’s say she has other things to do during other holidays, what about Christmas? If she’s not spending Christmas with you, you’re the side guy, my G. And most likely her excuse would be that she’s travelling with family, most likely to the village. Every time it comes to spending holidays together, she always has an excuse. Most importantly, if you don’t get to see her on her birthday, that’s a major sign. Although we women can have three birthdays in one year so you might never know, even if you ask for a birth certificate.

She doesn’t see you that much

If you were her boyfriend, she would try to make sure that she sees you as much as possible. However, as a side guy, she might only see you once or twice in two weeks and her excuse would be that she’s really busy. Also, your dates might only be during weeknights, and most times, they would be at your house.

If your “woman” is doing any of these things, you’re definitely not the main guy.

Remember that these were all hypothetical situations, women don’t have side guys because they don’t cheat.


Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.