Zikoko’s Comprehensive Guide To Being A Side Nigga

August 5, 2020

If there’s anything history has taught us, it is that men are much better than being side pieces than women. Ask Jada Pinkett Smith. 

If you didn’t already know, a side nigga is someone who knows that the person they are giving back to back has a partner but doesn’t care. You’re just here for a good time, not a long time.

Being a side nigga is a very dicey situation to be in. You must navigate it with sense and wisdom. You see, it’s all about maintaining balance.

As usual, Zikoko’s got your back, helping the helpless and guiding the guideless. So, we the very nice people at Zikoko have put together this guide to help you become a better side nigga.

Never catch feelings

Thats Good Jada Pinkett Smith GIF by Red Table Talk

This is the golden rule. I’m surprised that we even have to say this. If you catch feelings for somebody’s partner, what you see is what you get oh. Ask August Alsina.

 A word is enough for the coded. 

Don’t ask “What are we?”

August Alsina GIF by Red Table Talk

Trust us, you don’t want to be that guy that asks “What are we?” after a sweaty round of entanglements.

Enjoy the time you’re allocated, no more no less.

If your allocated time is once a week, manage it. Don’t come and be whining or complaining. Know your place.

Never ever confront the main nigga

jada pinkett smith GIF by Red Table Talk

We don’t know what could have driven you to this point, but this is not the plan God had for your life. Don’t do it.

Be a good listener

In case you didn’t know, listening is your primary responsibility. 

Occasionally, they might want to rant about their man/woman to you. Just listen and drop your occasional “Eyah, pele” before you begin to do the do.

Hear out her concerns. Remember the age-old saying: a shoulder to cry on becomes a dick to ride on. 

If you want to find out if your man is a professional side nigga, you should read 13 Signs Your Nigerian Boyfriend Is Cheating On You.

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

August 1, 2021

We recently stumbled upon a secret ancient book of Nigerian women’s secrets that has been passed down from generation to generation. The book contained the guide to being a wicked Nigerian woman, a stubborn Nigerian woman, and so much more. But one thing that attracted us was the chapter that contained the guide to shooting […]

March 23, 2020

“One more stupid Coronavirus WhatsApp voice note and I swear I will be sick.” I don’t know about you but I am tired. Tired of the news and social media and everywhere I turn to. I just want to sleep and wake up when all of this passes. I mean I know I complain about […]

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

November 20, 2019

Last month, we thoughtfully made a quiz telling you guys exactly when you’ll marry, but some of you claimed that your spouse was nowhere to be found. Well, now we’ve created one that’ll tell you exactly who you’ll be dragging down that aisle. Take and start planning that wedding: 11 Quizzes For Nigerians Who Are […]

November 19, 2019

Regardless of what society has tried to tell us, enjoying sex is not something to be ashamed of. So, in a bid to celebrate our generation’s sexual agency, we’ve created a quiz that will accurately (again, keep your complaints to yourself) infer how many people you’ve spelt with. Try it out: 11 Quizzes For The […]

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

November 30, 2019

With No Nut November FINALLY coming to an end, we’ve decided to mark the torturous month with some more horny content. After quizzes that guessed how many people you’ve slept with, how good you are in bed and who you’ll sleep with next, this one will guess when next you’ll get lucky. Take it to […]

November 15, 2019

There are two types of people in Nigeria right now: those who are proud Marlians, and those who are still in denial about stanning the divisive star. So, for those who proudly wear the Marlian tag, we made a quiz to test how well you really know Naira Marley. If you get more than 6 […]

how much of an ajebutter
February 12, 2020

Are you an ajebutter or not? Well, if you’ve gone through life blissfully unaware of its harshness, then you probably are. Now, we want to know just how high you rank on that ajebutter scale, using your food preferences as a (very accurate) measure. Take to find out:

More from Inside Life

August 6, 2022

If you’ve lived long enough with your parents, you’ve seen more than enough pepper. This guide is your chance to return the favour. You’ll probably fail but if you have coconut head, it won’t matter. You can’t First things first, you need to understand that you just can’t win. They’ll frustrate you till you tap-out […]

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.
March 12, 2020
Life is already hard. Deciding where to eat and get the best lifestyle experiences, isn't something you should stress about. Let VRSUS do that for you.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X