When you were younger, you looked at your parents like old people who weren’t so cool. You didn’t understand a lot of things they did, or why they said certain things. Then you got older and started doing a lot of things the same way they did. You started to imbibe their mannerisms and “slangs” till you eventually become a lot like them.
If you’re still in denial, here are some unmistakable ways to know you’ve become exactly like your parents:
1. You say, “Thank you God,” when you get home
Getting home safe is worth saying, “Thank you, God”. Getting home and laying in your bed after a long day is a good enough reason to thank God for. You also heave loudly and say, “Thank you, God,” when you sit down.
2. The prices of things have made you realise you have rice at home
With the way inflation has affected everyone, no one needs to tell you there’s rice at home; you tell yourself. Fancy restaurants have become a reward, not a necessity. This version of adulting is not what we signed up for.
3. You don’t have time for things that aren’t your business
Everyone should mind the one that concerns them. Putting your mouth in other people’s business isn’t something you’re interested in anymore. Let them carry their cross by themselves with the grace of God.
4. Abbreviations confuse you
There are new abbreviations every day and you simply can’t keep up with them. Before the week is over, you’re already seeing a new “wphd” after just learning what “ngl” means.
5. You send a lot of voice notes because texting gives you headache
Omo, who has time to be typing plenty after a very long day? Definitely not you. Let all your friends hear your voice and know that you’re doing ok. If you have to call someone, you keep the phone calls very short. Can’t let anyone come and use talk to waste the small energy you have.
6. Staying at home is always your first option
That fun you want to have outside can be had in your house. It’s not like our parents wanted to be introverts anyway; they just didn’t have the energy for parties or outings after spending all week adulting.
7. You sleep off while watching TV
Look at your life now. Shebi you were teasing your parents then about sleeping off in front of the TV. Now, look at you on a Wednesday Night sleeping off in front of Netflix.
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8. You worry about money
Whew! This is the ultimate reason adulting needs to be abolished. Constantly worrying about money is so draining. Your parents worried about providing for you; now you have to worry about providing for yourself. Damn it!
9. Your back and your knees are crying for help
Do you watch Megan Thee Stallion or people blessed with good knees twerk sometimes and ask yourself why God has favourites? Your back and knees have decided to be a few years older than you and that’s why you’re always thanking God when you sit down.
10. Unnecessary noises irritate you
Loud music, loud people, loud places — anything unnecessarily loud irritates you so much. But it’s also kind of ironic how Nigerian parents, especially Nigerian mums hate noise sha, even though they’re loud themselves.