Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • You know how you see something you like at the market, but then you hear an outrageous price and realise you don’t like it like that?

    That’s how adulting has changed how these Nigerians think about self-care and their guilty pleasures.

    Image designed by Freepik

    Joseph, 31

    I used to take myself to a high-end restaurant immediately salary entered. It started when I got my first job in 2013 with bukas. Then I moved to fast-food spots and proper restaurants as my money grew. 

    I started living alone in 2018, and increased responsibilities shook this tradition, but I kept at it. My breaking point was when my rent increased from ₦800k/year to ₦1.6m in 2023. No one told me to budget first before anything else. I still spoil myself sometimes, but I do it with sense. High-end restaurants are now once in a blue moon.

    Charles, 35

    I love taking road trips. Since 2019, my idea of unwinding has been driving four to five hours from Ado-Ekiti to Lokoja to spend the weekend at least twice a month. Sometimes, I spend my time in Lokoja with relatives. Other times, I stay in a hotel and only come out in the evenings. 

    Since the fuel subsidy removal in 2023, I’ve only been to Lokoja once. A trip that typically cost me ₦15k – ₦20k fuel to and fro now costs ₦25k just to get to Lokoja. It’s not sustainable. I encourage myself by reasoning that the kidnapping situation has worsened, so I shouldn’t do road trips anyway.

    Anu, 31

    For a long time, my idea of self-care was trying out continental recipes I found online. It’s my way of travelling the world without actually travelling. But I’ve hardly cooked anything new since I started having kids in 2018. My children are picky eaters, and I hardly have time between taking care of them and working to even consider making extra meals. I only get to satisfy myself when they’re away on holiday.

    Jen, 28

    Food was once my go-to when I was stressed, bored, or sad; it made me feel better. But my metabolism is no longer what it was. At university, people always wondered how I could eat so much but stay skinny. Now, I can’t even breathe near shawarma if I don’t want to add 2kg. 

    My new form of self-care is exercising. I’ve been a regular gym goer since 2022, but my gym just increased their fee to ₦70k/month from ₦50k, and I’m considering doing my exercises at home instead.

    Ima, 24

    Ekpang Nkukwo is my favourite meal, and my mum made it almost every week when I was growing up. She’d also make it when she noticed I was unhappy, and I associated the meal with feeling better. Anytime I was on holiday from school, I’d call her on my way home and ask her to prepare it. 

    I started living alone in a different town because of work in 2023, and I thought I’d make the meal every weekend to congratulate myself for surviving the week. I’ve only made it once since then. The preparation stress no be here. Sleep is now my way of making up for a stressful week.

    Jesse, 33

    Since I started earning reasonably well in 2020, I’ve taken one full month’s salary a year to splurge on something I really want — mostly electronic gadgets. But I couldn’t do that in 2023 because of wedding preparations and my MBA studies. It doesn’t look like it’ll be possible this year too because I now have a family to consider. I’ll probably have to settle for splurging a small percentage rather than the full salary. 

    Ella, 26

    Sleeping in during the weekends was my way of spoiling myself until I had a child in 2023. I make up for it by bingeing old movies to de-stress. And I try to squeeze in power naps as often as possible. Hopefully, I can resume sleeping in when my child gets older. Sleep is life.

    The biggest women-only festival in Lagos is BACK.
    Get your tickets here for a day of fun, networking and partayyyyy

    NEXT READ: “We Make Do With Our Imagination” — 7 Nigerians on How Inflation Affects Their Relationships

    [ad]

  • Were you a kid when “Christmas chicken” was an actual thing? If you were, how you spend your holidays has changed, and here’s how. 

    No more chicken

    Christmas chicken was a thing in the old times. And if it still looks like you’ll eat some this holiday, adulthood hasn’t held your neck yet.

    No Christmas clothes for you anymore

    They’ve stopped gifting you all those cute clothes during holiday time. All you get now is sleep. In fact, your old pyjamas have become your Christmas clothes.

    Or you have to buy them yourself

    If you’re still into Christmas clothes, that’s your personal business because, again, nobody will buy them for you. Carry your 20+ self and pay for them if you want them.

    Yo’re celebrating alone

    This is the surest way to know you’ve entered adulthood. Your holidays are now mostly spent alone, chilling and scrolling through couple’s posts in matching pyjama sets.

    You’re the one giving out Christmas money

    If you’re celebrating with family, congrats. You’ve become those aunties and uncles you used to bill for Christmas money as a child. You’ll smile as you’re handing out the notes to your nephews or nieces, but deep down, you’re calculating everything.

    You don’t even enjoy holidays anymore

    This is just another long public holiday that’ll still end. But you take solace in the fact that you’ll sleep through it.

    You’re constantly worried about January 

    You’ve been here many times, so you know the drill. December might be soft, but January is always brutal, and that’s what worries you.

    NEXT READ: Here’s How to Plan Your December Money So You Can Survive January

  • Is adulthood going through you, or are you handling it like a pro?

    Select all the things you can relate to:

    QUIZ: How Good Are You At Adulting?

  • You are the Main Character, but who’s the villain in your life? Is it your job or your coconut head? This quiz will tell you.

  • For many young Nigerians, especially those with strict parents, moving out and gaining your freedom may be the only legit thing to look forward to in adulting.

    But what happens when, for whatever reason, you have to move back in with your parents after getting a taste of freedom? And no, I’m not referring to the fake one where you move out for university but your parents still foot your bills. 

    I’m talking about moving back in after you’ve lived in the real world on your own. Are there changes to the relationship dynamics? I asked five people who’ve experienced this, and got interesting responses.

    “I’m this close to breaking down”

    — Fatima*, 29

    I got separated from my abusive husband around December 2021 and moved back in with my parents (I’m still with them). My dad has been really supportive — he was the one who encouraged me to choose my life over marriage — but my mum is a whole other issue.

    She doesn’t outrightly say anything, but I can tell she wishes I’d stayed with my husband. She’s steady dropping passive-aggressive hints. I work from home, so I’m always with her too. If I stay in the study for more than 30 minutes, she’ll start murmuring about how she’s the only one caring for the house, or how idle hands always cause trouble.

    I’m honestly tired. I’m currently trying to save up as much as possible to rent my own place before I lose my mind. 

    RELATED: 6 Nigerian Women Talk About Having Strict Parents

    “I feel closer to my parents”

    — Daniel*, 32

    I moved back in with my parents four months ago, after I was forcibly kicked out of my apartment because I owed rent. I had just lost my job, and finance was really tight. I struggled to share it with my parents, but they eventually found out and basically forced me to move back home.

    I thought it’d be awkward, but it’s actually been great. My parents relate with me like friends — I guess this is because I’m now an adult — and they respect my space. I’m slowly getting my finances together and should get another place soon, but it’s not been bad.

    “They respect me more”

    — Olaedo*, 27

    I moved back in with my parents in 2020 just before the lockdown, because I wanted to spend that period with them. The short stay eventually became somewhat permanent when I got laid off, and I eventually got another job close to my parent’s house in 2021.

    I’ve noticed that they respect me more. They don’t police my decisions, and they seek out my input on important matters. The only side effect is, my mum wants me to get married tomorrow.

    “Black tax wants to kill me”

    — Gifty*, 26

    I decided not to renew my rent in 2021 because my roommate got married, and I couldn’t afford it by myself. So, I had the bright idea to move back in with my parents and cut costs for a while. 

    Omo, it’s hard. My parents see me as an adult, which is true, but it means they expect me to provide for the house. I know I’m supposed to help out, but not to this extent, biko. Plus, I have younger siblings. Do the math.

    “I feel like a part of their marriage”

    — Dayo*, 27

    I returned to Nigeria in April [2022] after spending six years in the UK, and decided to stay with my parents for a while.

    It’s cool and all, but it suddenly made me realise their marriage isn’t as perfect as I thought it was. Now when they have issues, they take turns reporting each other to me, expecting me to take a side. I guess they feel like I’m old enough to take it, but I’d rather not be involved.

    Subscribe to the SHIPS newsletter today for more stories that touch on everything about love, romance, sex, and basically every human relationship. 

    *Names have been changed for the sake of anonymity.

    NEXT READ: 8 Solid Ways to Become Your Parents’ Favourite Child

  • There’s no winning with African parents. Depending on whether you’re the black sheep or the favourite child, there are two things involved.. If you’re the black sheep, you’re safe. If you’re the favourite child, there’s only one thing involved: they’ll stress your life. 

    How? Read on to find out. 

    Your siblings think you’re a snitch

    This is how you look to them when they’re talking about something private and you try to join in.

    You're the favourite child

    Your parents rope you into being an actual snitch

    They’ll come and disguise it as heart-to-heart talk but they really want is for you to start confessing the sins of your siblings.

    Favourite child is now a snitch

    You’re their retirement plan

    Did you think being their favourite child is for free? You’ll pay for it with extra black tax, dear.

    Favorite child for retirement

    They’ll turn you to their gist partner by force

    Sometimes you just want to sleep or be by yourself. Try telling that to an African parent when they want to gist about their friend whose child just got arrested by the police for stealing someone’s pet goat. 

    RELATED: Five Things You Can Relate to if You Are the First Child

    You can’t do what they don’t want

    This is how you know you’re their favourite child: when you really start considering their feelings as an adult even though you want to do something else. You now have to hide that tattoo you got because you wanted them to think you’re still a child of God

    Favourite child can't disappoint

    They send you on way more errands

    We all know sending you on errands is the love language of Nigerian parents. You’re only going to be getting more of that since you’re their favourite child.

    Favourite child runs errands

    They use you as the moral compass

    You can’t stay out late with friends without them thinking you’ve grown wings. Even though you’re in the streets, you can only be making guest appearances because of eye service.

    You become the third parent

    To your siblings, you become a middle-aged Nigerian giving them life advice they didn’t ask for.

    NEXT READ: How to Be the Perfect Nigerian Child

  • If you’re no longer sure what direction your relationship with your friend is going, here are seven signs to look out for that’ll let you know the relationship is coming to an end.

    They almost always ghost you

    They keep leaving you in the middle of conversations. If you check your text threads, it’s always you trying to reach out and heal the communication gap. It’s because they’ve already cut you off. 

    RELATED: How to Be a Good Friend as an Adult With a Busy Life

    They start telling people your business

    They no longer value your friendship, so they don’t feel compelled to keep secrets you tell them. Anyone and everyone is privy to your business.

    There are gaps in information between you

    You’re struggling to fill in pieces of information on the timeline of their life. It’s because they no longer tell you when important things happen to them. You’re out of the loop. 

    You struggle to hold conversations

    On the few times you find a chance to link up or talk, you find it diffcult to talk about anything because you’re both overthinking what to say. It no longer feels natural. 

    They’re always trying to one-up you

    Whenever you tell them something about yourself that makes you sad, they try to bring up something in their life to make you feel like your problems are not all that.

    They’re always unavailable

    Whenever you reach out to them for a chance to hangout, they’re suddenly unable to. It’s because they don’t want to spend time with you.

    You constantly make excuses for them

    Because they’re totally unavailable to you, you tend to cover up for their behaviour when you eventually get to spend time with them. 

    RELATED: Sunken Ships: Our Friendship Ended Because of My Childishness

  • They say the best things in life are free. And in our opinion, money is one of these things. So here are some tips on how to make money without necessarily working for it. 

    Participate in giveaways 

    With so much money to be won online, we wonder why you’d choose to suffer at any job. Some people already make a living this way. Better join the train. 

    We await the good news: How To Win Don Jazzy’s Giveaways

    Get married

    Or at least, say you’re getting married. Do you know how much people pay for asoebi? When you tell them the wedding got cancelled, they’d pity you too much to ask for a refund. 

    Become a sugar baby

    All you have to do is go to the right places and meet the right people. You might still have to ‘work’, but at least it’s the good kind. 

    Here’s how: 7 Sure-Fire Ways to Get a Glucose Guardian 

    Start a pyramid scheme

    Get two people to bring two people who’d bring another two. Nothing lasts forever, so they won’t be surprised when you say it crashed. 

    Be the last born

    Everyone knows the only thing last-borns are good at is eating, sleeping and billing their older siblings for money they neither earned nor worked for. 

    Become a Nigerian politician 

    Talk about eating a piece of the national cake! 

    Start here: The 10 Stages Of Becoming A Nigerian Politician

    Sell your body

    No, not in the way you think… even though that could work too. Your body is a goldmine; you should be cashing out already. Whether it’s selling your eggs, sperm, blood, or organs, you’re sure to make a large sum. 

    Also read: All You Need to Know About Donating Sperm in Nigeria

  • Hear Me Out is a weekly limited series where Ifoghale and Ibukun share the unsolicited opinions some people are thinking, others are living, but everyone should hear.

    I believe in having a healthy saving culture and putting some money away for when I ever need some immediate cash; it’s always good to have a backup plan. Take some of the money you get paid, put it away, watch it grow and spend it on whatever you saved it for. 

    However, if I save money, I’m going to perish. I need my money now. I need to spend it now. If you’re like me, who earns just about enough to last a few days, you realise that putting some cash aside is easier thought about than done. 

    Adulting comes with responsibilities like paying bills, saving for a master’s, thinking about your future, and for parents, your children’s demands. Luckily for me, I don’t have a lot to worry about. I live with my family, and most of my bills are taken care of (not like the people I live with have a choice). 

    All the money I earn is mine, and it’s not shared except I’m feeling generous. But like I said earlier, it’s not enough for me, which means it’s not enough to be shared. My mum talks about the importance of prudence, why I need to have better habits and how I’m privileged to be earning even though all I do is complain about how I could be making more. She’s Nigerian and has the Nigerian “be grateful for what you have” mindset. Please, don’t get me wrong, though. I am grateful for what I have. 

    A week ago, I realised I started using one of the pioneer saving apps for Nigerians in 2017. I told my sister about the app, and she got on it; she’s an avid saver. My sister went on to tell my mum about it, and my mum also got on the app, all of us saving for the rainy day. I opened the app to check how far I’ve come since I’ve been on this journey. It’s safe to say, all I’ve saved so far is my life. 

    When people ask me what my mantra for making bad decisions is, I say, “I’ve been broke before, and I didn’t die”, and that’s a fact. This won’t be my first rodeo, spending all my money for my immediate happiness. I like to look forward to deliveries, and I love when I spend money on things I like. A new dress, some skincare, and occasionally, food (I’m a couch potato who lives with family, so I rarely have to worry about food). 

    I know it’s unhealthy, but my happiness is tied to the things that cost money, the things I can’t save for. People who save money like to know they have a fallback; if they find themselves out of a job, there’s money somewhere, and if there’s a medical emergency, they know there’s money for it. It’s a shame to admit that my fallback option is “hello, dad”.

    I have friends who pay rent, live by themselves, figure their shit out, and make enough to do all that, and sometimes, I feel like I’m not doing enough. I wonder how much I have to save and how many things I have to get rid of to be able to do that. Would earning more improve my saving culture if I balance my needs and wants better? I know myself. Earning more would make me want more things. 

    No matter how much money I save, I won’t save myself from my current tax bracket. I can’t save my way to becoming the wealthiest black woman in the world. All I can do is push my wants and needs to a later date and deprive myself of things. Holding off on gratification doesn’t mean it still won’t be done, so why don’t I get it done instantly? 

    I want to reward myself for a job well done, for a stressful week, for surviving, and I can only do that if I have money to spend right now. Don’t get me wrong, you can reward yourself as often as you like and still have some money left to save, but that’s not me. If I save this money, I will perish, and my happiness and productivity will tank. I feel good when I’m happy, I work best when I’m happy, I’m the best to be around when I’m happy, and when am I happy? When I have money to spend on things I like. 

    At the end of 2021, I checked my score on the saving app I use. I saw a C6 and laughed because I’d attempted to save some money during the year to avoid getting that exact score. Many things happened in the first two months that made me stop. But it was the end of the year, and the score was there, and at that moment, I was glad I’d saved my life at least. I’d had Covid twice in one year, and surviving it was more important than saving some cash.

    I’ve heard from several people about the importance of women having their own money. How it’s imperative that women save and have a fallout option, how women are more respected the richer they are. And I agree with those ideas; I believe them too. But again, how will I save what I don’t have? 

    Maybe I’d eventually figure out how to earn more and save more. Maybe by getting a job in tech or selling one of my kidneys. Perhaps, I’d give up my wants, put the cash in an app and see how much it brings back to me. Invest the little I get into something fruitful and spend days leading up to a yield in a permanent state of unhappiness, knowing I have no deliveries on the way. 

    All I know is that saving any money will make me unhappy, and I don’t want to participate.

    Hear Me Out: Why You Should Eat Your Sorrows Away

    Hear Me Out is a limited series from Zikoko, and you can check back every Saturday by 9 a.m. for new episodes from Ifoghale and Ibukun.

  • We often talk about the intricacies of forming and navigating friendships as an adult, but one thing we neglect is the role we have to play in ensuring our friendships work. A lot of us are grown now, with busy schedules and an absence of work-life balance, the last thing we think about is our friendships and how to nurture them so they don’t die. 

    1. Make time to call your friends

    Take time out to call your friends, even if it involves setting up a reminder to do so. Call your friends or send voice messages to let them know you still care about them and that they’re on your mind. 

    2. Support their business

    If your friend runs a business or offers a service, support them by posting their business, and sharing their contact information with potential customers. You don’t have to do it all the time, just as often as you see fit so they know you have their back. 

    RELATED: 8 Things to Know Before Making Friends as an Adult 

    3. Listen when they speak

    It’s easy for us to get so wrapped up in our own issues that we don’t hear what our friends are saying. Listen to friends, and help them however you can. And when they don’t necessarily need a solution, just a listening ear, be that for them. 

    RELATED: 10 Types Of Friends Every Woman Should Have

    4. Don’t stand them up when they make plans with you

    When your friends make plans to hang out with you, please ensure you make it. If you can’t make it, inform them ahead of time. It’s really shitty behaviour when you stand your friends up without a good enough reason. 

    5. Make memories with them

    Take pictures with and of your friends. Try out new things and places with them because when they’re gone, it’s the memories that’ll remain. 

    6. Apologize and do better when you’re wrong 

    Effective communication is a big deal when you’re an adult. You have to learn to apologize and put in the work to do better when you offend your friends. Listen to the things they complain about and work on those things.

    7. Accept the fact that they have their own life too

    Don’t say things like “You that forgot to call me since all these days.” Understand that your friends have their own lives too.  Don’t hold grudges when circumstances beyond their control stop them from being there for you. 

    8. Be honest

    Nobody likes to be friends with someone who lies more than they tell the truth. Tell your friends the truth with as much emotional intelligence as you’d appreciate. Let them know how you feel about certain situations without being an asshole.

    9. Don’t be a negative Nancy 

    You don’t want to be the person who’s constantly negative. It’s ok to be pessimistic (i.e realistic) sometimes but don’t make it your brand.  Adulthood is hard enough without having a negative Nancy around all the time.