Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians

April 16, 2022

Nigerian politicians can be many things: dramatic as hell, disappointing and scandalous. Incidentally, so are a lot of Bible characters from a million generations ago. We can’t even be sure that Nigerian politicians aren’t directly taking inspiration from them.

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians

In the spirit of Easter, we look at Bible characters that could very well make it as Nigerian politicians if they existed in 2022.


This man publicly denied Jesus Christ three times only hours after swearing they were going to be BFFs for life. You know he’s the type of Nigerian politician that would promise free education to get himself elected. Once in office, you can forget it because he’d deny he ever made that promise. Unless you can get a rooster to crow near him or something.

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians


Methuselah lived 969 years on earth, and you just know Nigeria would have a Not-Too-Old-To-Run law if he was alive today. Just like Methuselah refused to die for a long time, Nigerian politicians don’t know when to stop. They can sit in the National Assembly for 20 years or keep running for the same presidential position for 30 years.

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians

ALSO READ: Game of Thrones: Who Wants to Be Nigeria’s President in 2023?


Saul of Tarsus was extremely anti-Christian before his dramatic conversion to Christianity, which prompted his change of name to Paul. This makes him tailor-made for Nigerian politics where politicians jump from one party to the next. 

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians

A Nigerian politician Saul today, Paul tomorrow

The difference between Paul’s time and now is that the defection process for Nigerian politicians doesn’t always involve temporary blindness. But that would be cool to see.

King Herod 

A ruthless ruler whose military gets away with the massacre of innocent young people based on paranoia? King Herod wouldn’t find it hard at all to make it as a Nigerian politician.

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians


Deborah was kind of like a politician in her day. She’s the only female judge mentioned in the Bible, which makes her a rare breed. Thousands of years later, she’d have the same status in Nigerian politics where women are barely represented in public office. There’s never been an elected female governor, or president or vice president. Attempts to improve the representation of women in politics is also meeting a lot of resistance. But every now and then, you get a Deborah.

ALSO READ: Does the National Assembly Hate Nigerian Women?

Judas Iscariot

This man will stab you in the back while also kissing your cheeks. Definitely a bribe-taking Nigerian politician that claims to be your friend.

Ananias and Sapphira 

Not much is known about Ananias and Sapphira other than that they were a couple that tried to cheat the Lord by holding back some of the proceeds of a sale. As Nigerian politicians, you just know they’re the type to award a ₦1 billion contract and pocket ₦700 million, preferably stuffed inside their babariga. And rather than the instant death they got in the Bible, they’d just keep rigging winning elections in Nigeria.

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians

*Any similarity to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events, is purely coincidental.


It may look like this article is really just bagging on Nigerian politicians, but every now and then, you get a decent leader like Joseph. He’s visionary, has lofty dreams and saves for the rainy day. It’s such a shame others that’ll come after him will piss away his legacy. Also went to prison before he became a leader, just like some Nigerian politicians.


Jacob’s deception of his father, Isaac, to receive the blessings meant for his brother, Esau, is one of the Bible’s earliest fraud stories. And Esau selling his birthright to Jacob in exchange for a plate of porridge reads exactly like the vote-selling that occurs around Nigerian elections today.


Eve’s hunger for power to be as knowledgeable as God convinced her to eat the forbidden fruit. And when she was caught, she didn’t take full responsibility for her actions. Instead, she blamed an animal for it. She has all the makings of a Nigerian politician that’d blame past administrations for her current failures. 

Bible Characters Who Could Be Nigerian Politicians



You can imagine Samson gets elected into office because he boasts he can solve insecurity on account of his six-pack. But the only thing he’s wrestling while he’s in office is the sin of the flesh. Safe to say he’s caught up in at least one sex scandal


What does a Nigerian politician have that this entity does not possess? Is it the sweet mouth? The proclivity for self-sabotage? The cunning? The arrogance? Or the dashing personality? Give Lucifer public office and watch him create hell for the people that voted for him.

ALSO READ: Time Is Running Out for You to Register for Your PVC

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

February 19, 2020

For too long, Zikoko has looked on while the true heroes of Nigerian lifestyle have failed to receive the recognition they truly deserve. Well not anymore. From food staples that make sure our last ₦50 goes the extra mile. To electronic sets that make sure sleeping in darkness isn’t an only option; we present, our […]

October 13, 2020

After the tragedies of yesterday’s protest, safety is now a major issue for protesters. Since our government has decided that they won’t keep us safe, we have to look out for each other. This article will highlight emergency contacts, first aid tips, and services to contact in case of an emergency. It’s a combination of […]

October 23, 2019

Traffic offenders are a menace on Lagos roads, oftentimes ignoring traffic rules at the detriment of other road users. Mostly, the offenders are okada riders and commercial bus drivers; sometimes even individuals, who should obviously know better, opt for the dare devil disregard of these laws as well. However, as we all know, everyday for […]


Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

September 1, 2021

August is over, and here are some of our best quizzes from August. Enjoy: 1. QUIZ: Only Ajebutters Can Get 10/21 On This Quiz Some people like to form ajepako when they’re really ajebutter. Are you one of them? Let’s find out. 2. QUIZ: Sorry, If You’re Under 25 There’s No Way You Can Pass […]

What are you like in a relationship?
February 7, 2020

Your taste in music can say a lot about you, and this time, it’s going to reveal what you are like in a relationship. So, pick a few of your favourite Nigerian love songs, and we’ll let you know if you’re typically a distant, passionate or unbothered partner. Here you go:

April 1, 2020

Everyone has a Nigerian bank that matches their personality. You could either be as likeable as GTB, as efficient as Access or as mature as First Bank. Either way, all you have to do is take this quiz and we’ll let you know with almost 100% certainty. So, go ahead:

December 11, 2019

In the past month, we’ve made quizzes that guessed the last time you had sex, how many people you’ve slept with, and just how good you are in bed. For our latest attempt, we will use your taste in Nigerian music from the 2010s to ascertain what you’re like in bed. Take to find out:

December 29, 2021

A new year is right around the corner. Before we go into 2022, enjoy some of our top quizzes from this year. 1. QUIZ: Only Nigerian Gen Z’ers Can Make It To The End Of This Musicians Quiz Forget about your age. If you can make it to the end of this quiz, you’re definitely […]

More from Citizen

October 1, 2022

“I can’t tell you how much I miss Lagos conductors.” When Tega got into Harvard in March, she didn’t anticipate how much of her life was bout to change. Now, it’s been a week since she moved to Cambridge and she shares how it feels navigating a new city with no family or friends.


Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.