10 Things We Still Can’t Believe Happened In Nigeria This Year

December 16, 2019

Man, things happened in Nigeria this year of our Lord, 2019. Pastors turned auditoriums to makeshift UFC fighting rings and the first lady wants you all to know about her lack of table talk.

(Here’s proof of the UFC thing btw)

But that’s the small stuff, here are 10 reasons we will be needing the Nigerian government to fund nationwide therapy:

Dino Melaye telling us what goes down in the other room.

Senator, songwriter, Instagram queen and apparent stud. Is there nothing he can’t do?

Abacha still making it rain in 2019.

General Sani Abacha has been dead since 1998. How is it 2019 and our guy is still making Nigeria’s phone vibrate with recovered loot credit alerts?

And speaking of recovered Abacha loot, who were the ‘poor’ people that received it?

We need an answer and we need it yesterday!

2 irritating names, one irritating person: Elisha Abbo.

This man is still in the senate and still supporting hateful social media bills. What gives?

The Chief Justice of Nigeria getting sacked weeks before the elections.

Our guy was suspended (read removed) from his post without a 2/3 majority of the Senate, without contravening the Codes of Conduct and while being of sound mind and body. Make it make sense.

Ganduje getting re-elected.

The Kano State governor was caught on camera stuffing dollars into his babariga. His deputy governor was arrested during the collation of election results for attempting to disrupt the count. How are we still referring to him as ‘Your Excellency’ again?

Ganduje creating four additional emirates in Kano State.

For no real reason except supreme pettiness against the Emir of Kano – Sanusi Lamido, his excellency got the National Assembly of Kano State to pass a bill creating four additional emirates in the state. Wonderful.

The Minister of Interior admitting he had no idea what he was getting into.

He said and I quote about his job as Minister of Interior “My relationship with the ministry is distant. What I know about the ministry is what I read in the newspapers.” Confidence on 100!

The border closure.

Anybody have some of that imported rice crack?

Sowore re-arrest.

Re-watching this video and it is still hard to believe this happened in a democracy in 2019.

What were your unbelievable moments of 2019?

Boyin Plumptre

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June 5, 2021

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