These 7 Types of Cakes Should Not Exist

April 20, 2022

Nothing on earth could have prepared me for the terrorism that bakers have been doing with cakes that look like other things. But that’s a conversation for another day. Today I want to drag cake makers for ever baking these seven types of cake. Why do these people like doing the most?

1. Coffee cake

Coffee cake is a cake that went to cake school and came last. It’s the 40+ millennial amid Gen-Zs that thinks it’s cool. Of all the things to taste like, why would you choose to bake something that tastes like wickedness? 

RELATED: QUIZ: What Kind of Cake Are You?

2. Funfetti cakes

A funfetti cake is a vanilla cake with an annoying amount of sprinkles. The cake also dares to be baked with sprinkles inside, which is bold because sprinkles taste like suffering and should not exist.

3. Carrot cake

Firstly, a carrot is a vegetable, and vegetables have no business being in cake. What’s next? Cabbages? If it even tasted nice, I would understand, but carrot cake tastes like carrot and that’s the problem.  

4. Chocolate cake

Anyone that likes chocolate cake is a liar and lives a fake life. It never tastes like chocolate and they’re always trying to spice it up with oreos and wafers. Why’re you trying to make up for?  

5. Any cake with fondant 

Notice how they only share cakes like these at burials or school anniversaries, basically places that don’t have joy. What’s the point of cake if every part‌ can’t be eaten? 

RELATED: 7 Cake Pictures That Will Annoy Every Baker

6. Rainbow cake

If nothing was a flavour, it would be rainbow cakes and to be honest, it shouldn’t exist. Thank you for the colour and all, but can you maybe give each tier a distinct flavour, or make it taste like something nice, like strawberries?

7. Fruit cake

As in, a cake that has actual fruits stuffed inside or fruit flavoured cakes. If you need to eat something healthy, maybe just eat the actual fruit? Why would you drag cake into it? 

We don’t cake-shame enough as a society for me. And we need to start throwing tomatoes at people that like these cakes.

READ ALSO: Ranked: Chocolate, Red Velvet or Vanilla Cake?

Join The Conversation

Bring a friend.

You'll like this

Watch

Now on Zikoko

Recommended Quizzes

October 29, 2019

We are going to be attempting to guess when you’ll marry based on your favourite Nigerian foods. What does your fave swallow have to do with when you’ll tie the knot? Please, don’t ask complicated questions. This quiz is rigorous and accurate (don’t quote us), so just take it already. QUIZ: Why Do You Have […]

December 3, 2019

Are you a professional Yoruba demon? Are you walking around in search of whose life you can wreck at any given time? Well, this quiz knows exactly how many hearts you’ve shattered to date, and before you lie that your result is inaccurate, just remember that Zikoko is never wrong. Now, take it and be […]

April 14, 2020

Every friend group consists of very different and specific characters — from the parent to the fun one — and it can be a little tough figuring out where you fall. So, we’ve created a quiz that lets you know exactly what kind of friend you are. Take to find out:

More from Chopist

Watch

Trending Videos

Zikoko Originals

September 13, 2022
Vs The World is a Zikoko original video series that follows best friends Astor and Hassan as they take on the world.
August 23, 2022
Zikoko Ships is a Zikoko Original series where we invite two people who share a relationship to play the Zikoko card games
December 14, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
November 2, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
October 26, 2020
A collection of videos documenting some of the events of the EndSARS protests.
June 22, 2020
'The Couch' is a Zikoko series featuring real life stories from anonymous people.
June 22, 2020
Hacked is an interesting new series by Zikoko made up of fictional but hilarious chat conversations.
June 4, 2020
What happens when a group of chatty young Nigerians talk about things they're passionate about? You get Nigerians talk. A show that discusses very familiar struggles for the average Nigerian. From relationship deal breakers to sex education with Nigerian parents to leaving Nigeria, be prepared for a ride.
June 2, 2020
Quickie is a video series where everyone featured gets only one minute to rant, review or do absolutely anything.
May 14, 2020
Isolation Diary is a Zikoko series that showcases what isolation is like for one young Nigerian working from home due to the Coronavirus pandemic.

Z! Stacks

Here's a rabbit hole of stories to lose yourself in:

Zikoko amplifies African youth culture by curating and creating smart and joyful content for young Africans and the world.
X