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  • There’s something unforgettable about your first night in your very own apartment. After moving out of your parents’ house, your own space is one of the big markers of independence and being grown up.

    Zikoko asked seven Nigerians about the first night they spent in their apartment after moving out, and their responses were equal parts heartwarming, hilarious, and relatable.

    “It is one night I can never forget.” — Desola*(24), F

    It was my first time living alone, and it was bliss. I enjoyed it so much! I had my full bed to myself — I didn’t have to share with anyone. I realised living alone meant I could play my music at night, and I wasn’t disturbing anyone. I could take phone calls anytime I wanted without the fear of bothering someone. It is one night I can never forget.

    “I got a little room in a face-me-I-slap-you house.“ —  Morgan*(37), M

    I had just turned 19 and gotten my “freedom” at the shop where I did my printing apprenticeship. I got into a fight with my dad where he said if I was going to live under his roof, I would have to follow his rules. I found that unacceptable, so I took the money I had saved up from tips and side gigs at the printing shop and got a single little room in a face-me-I-slap-you house. 

    Looking back, it was a dank and dirty little room, but on my first night there, I was so proud of myself. I felt like a real man, a big boy. Bills have humbled me, but that apartment was the start of real adulthood for me.

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    “It felt like I had everything in the world.” — Fisayo*(29), F

    It’s wild because I’m about to move out of that very first apartment into a bigger one, but at the time, it felt like a mansion. I was so proud that I could finally afford a space that doubled as my art studio, in the same estate I’d grown up in — but this time, it was mine. 

    I remember thinking about all the things I wanted to do there: the dinners I would host, the sleepovers I could finally plan, the freedom to do my own thing, on my own terms. Suddenly, I forgot all the fights it took to get there. I forgot how my parents insisted I should move from their house straight into my husband’s. Hilarious when there was no man in sight, not even a prospect. I just wanted space to find myself, to learn about myself. That first night felt like the beginning of that journey. I’m never really able to sleep the first night in a new space, but I slept like a baby. It was just me, a bed, and a fridge. But in that moment, it felt like I had everything in the world.

    “When I lived with people, I was always this paranoid feeling that someone touched my stuff, but now I can leave stuff anywhere” — Franklin* (26), M

    I was coming from a previous situation that was not convenient, and I really liked where I moved to in Ibadan. My mind was bursting with all the possibilities this new space offered me on my first night there. It had everything I wanted in a space; almost 24 hours light, a big room, a big kitchen, a big toilet. I could set myself up how I wanted, and dating would be easier. My previous co-living space had greatly limited my dating possibilities in the past. 

    When I lived with people, there was always this paranoid feeling that someone touched my stuff or stole some of it, but now I can leave stuff anywhere without thinking deeply about it. My new place also has a field nearby, and I look forward to getting fit on it. 

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    “Nothing was arranged, and the floors needed a good scrubbing, but I felt like a queen.” — Yetunde*(55), F

    It was in 1995, and I had just finished my HND program at Kwara State University. My boyfriend — now husband — got me a two-bedroom apartment because I wasn’t ready to get married immediately. 

    That first night, I felt like such a big girl. Nothing was arranged, and the floors needed a good scrubbing, but I felt like a queen. It’s such an empowering feeling to have your own space. I encourage all women to do it at least for a year in their lives; it’s thrilling.

    “Even now, whenever I move into a new apartment, it still feels just as amazing as the first time.” — Damilola*(26), F

    I moved out of my parents’ house in the middle of the night, right in the middle of the COVID lockdown. Nothing was arranged, and all my things were in boxes, but my first night at my first apartment felt surreal. I almost couldn’t believe that I was this grown babe with a job and her own place. 

    It was exciting, scary and amazing. I had lived alone when I went to university, but there was always this knowledge that I was going back home. Now, this place was all mine, to do with however I like. It’s not a feeling I would ever give up. Even now, whenever I move into a new apartment, it still feels just as amazing as the first time. 

    “I was very happy to tell my parents and show that I was a capable adult.” — Adejare*(29), F

    I had just moved to Lagos against my parents’ wishes, and they didn’t give me a dime for my accommodation as punishment. I was squatting in a corper’s lodge using most of my alawee for rent when a friend of mine offered to let me live in his family’s boys’ quarters for free.

    It wasn’t a large room, but it had its own kitchen, bathroom and a fridge. My first night there was the very first time I truly saw that this moving to Lagos thing might work out great for me. I was very happy to give my parents the update and show that I was a capable adult. I wish I could buy that feeling, it was amazing!

    If you enjoyed reading this, you’ll also enjoy: She Left Me And Our Kids To Become An Alhaji’s Second Wife

  • One day, you visit a friend, only to find out that they store garri in their fridge. Friends and family, I’m here to tell you that just because your mum does something doesn’t mean it’s correct to do it too. 

    Here are some things that shouldn’t be in your fridge, and if they’re, what it says about you. 

    Garri 

    If you store your garri in the fridge, people shouldn’t joke with you at all o. You’ll defo break bottle on your head to remind people you’re not normal, at least twice a week. I’ve never met a normal person who actually likes garri, so carry on.

    Jollof rice 

    Jollof rice should be eaten hot and fresh, with heat nearly blinding you. Why are you eating jollof that has lost its essence from multiple defrosting? Are you against enjoyment?

    Yam 

    Yam is already hard and void of love. You now want to store it in the fridge so it can get harder? It’ll turn into a rock-hard weapon that’s impossible to cut or peel, like you and all the layers of wickedness in your heart. Sheesh.

    Plantain chips 

    If you store your plantain chips in the fridge, you’re definitely a first born used to hiding food from your siblings. Storing them in the fridge will ruin the experience, abeg.

    Suya 

    Suya is supposed to be eaten hot, preferably on the road to your house, so you don’t share it. Anyone who can eat cold suya can eat a human being. Yes, I said it.

    Bread

    Your taste buds stopped working when you were ten years old, if you store bread in the fridge. Imagine choosing to defrost bread, might as well soak it in water and eat it like cereal.

    Onions

    Onions need to breathe somewhere dry. How do I know? The Zikoko Bureau of Statistics, of course. I just know you don’t allow the people in your life to breathe when you’re around.

    Honey

    Storing honey in the fridge is like locking your puppy in a closet — it’s cruel and unnecessary. Honey lasts forever; chilling it will just make it thick and difficult to use.

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  • Until I started writing this article, I didn’t realise just how much Korean K-drama has taught me. This is your cue to watch your next K-drama without subtitles. Your brain secretly understands what they’re saying, we promise. This mini-dictionary is for non-fans. 

    Saguek  

    A Korean historical drama, usually set in the Joseon era.

    Oppa 

    Younger women use this word as a cute way to refer to their older brothers or boyfriends.

    Chaebol  

    Dirty, “will buy your family’s silence”, stinky rich businessmen who are also always the bad guys or the ones paying the bad guys. 

    Second lead syndrome  

    When the second male lead has more chemistry with the female lead than the main male lead, so you start rooting for him instead. It always ends in tears.

    Makjang 

    You know those dramas with unnecessarily exaggerated or weird plot twists? This is how we describe them. *Coughs The Penthouse: War In Life series.

    Hallyu 

    Nollywood is Nigeria what Hallyu is to Koreans. Or better still, popular Korean culture. 

    Kimchi slap

    Back in the good old K-drama days, you couldn’t watch a K-drama without someone getting slapped with a kimchi covered hand.

    Noona 

    Term of endearment for older sisters. Or a younger man can use it to refer to his older girlfriend.

    Ahjumma 

    It means “older woman”, but is mostly used to describe those nosey-ass older female characters in K-drama.

    OST 

    Everyone knows OST means the “original soundtrack” of a drama. But it’s particularly popular in K-drama because it usually features popular K-pop artists.  

    Saranghae

    This means “I love you” in Korean. It’s usually followed by a finger heart or those big full-body ones.

    Soju 

    The principality and powers in alcohol form Koreans drink like water in K-drama.  

    PPL  

    Product placement in a drama. If you’re a K-drama fan who uses a Samsung, I’m not saying it’s years of conditioning, but hmm. PPL is basically that shameless but craftily hidden brand promo in a K-drama.

    Jjimjilbang 

    This is a Korean bathhouse. Characters go there to relax, wearing matching sets provided by the establishment. Fights or love at first sight usually start here. 

    Ajusshi 

    This is how Koreans refer to older men. These characters are usually ill-tempered or very nice and wise. No inbetween.

    Yeobo  

    This is the Korean version of “Honey”, the popular married couple endearment.

    Hanbok 

    This is the traditional Korean clothing often seen in historical K-dramas.

    Geunyang

    This means “Just because”. Sometimes, things happen just because, and you don’t want to have to explain it, so you say, “Geunyang”. Mostly used by K-drama mums when their pissed with their kids.

    Aigoo 

    Characters use this to express regret, disappointment or annoyance. It translates to “Oh my goodness”.

    Pabo

    You know how we call foolish people “Ode”? Well this is the Korean equivalent.

    Daebak 

    This is basically the Korean version of “Ehen”. Depending on your tone, it can be an exclamation of excitement, amazement or disbelief. 

    PaliPali  

    This just means “hurry up”. Especially when the character in question is being rushed so all their books can fall out of their bag just so they can meet the love of their life.

    Melo  

    Short for “melodrama”. When K-drama fans watch a really emotional drama, they refer to it as a melo.

    Umbrella scene 

    It’s not a romantic K-drama without the scene where the male lead protects the female lead from the rain by giving her his umbrella. Bonus point if it’s yellow.

    Healing drama

    A drama that brings you so much comfort you just know you’ll end up rewatching it for years to come. A lot of 2022 dramas had that energy.

    “Fighting!” 

    Usually pronounced “Hwiting!” This is how characters encourage each other. It can mean “I believe in you” or “You can do this”. It’s always so emotional to hear them say this.  

  • As a single person, my brain isn’t clouded by love. I can think clearly, which is why I know all you relationship people are not okay. Because how do these 10 sayings make y’all fall in love?  

    I’m stuck with you

    You’ll never be stuck with me IJN. Please, when it’s not like we’re twins. If somebody richer than you comes around, we will become unstuck. Don’t worry. 

    Your body is a temple, and I want to worship you

    When there’s an RCCG branch one minute away from your house? Your priorities aren’t straight, I see. 

    I can’t live without you

    Please, try harder. How were you living before we met? Does your mother know you’re telling people things like this? Does Jesus know?

    Eat for me

    Or what? Will you faint? I don’t understand, do you live in my stomach? Answer me fast. 

    Let me take care of you

    I can take care of myself, please. Do I give broke vibes because why did you think it was okay to say that?

    You’re the apple of my eye

    I’ve never seen an apple inside any eye before o. Quite frankly, if you have an apple in your eye you should see an optician. 

    I want to marry you

    No Jide, you just met me. You don’t want to marry me, you just have mummy issues. 

    I want to put a baby in you

    This is a threat and should be reported to the nearest police. Where will you find the baby? Are you into kidnapping? Double arrest. 

    I want to eat you work

    Eh? Cannibalism? EFCC, INEC, NAFDAC, arrest this person, please. Maybe if you had actual work to do, you won’t be looking for work to eat. 

    I love you 

     We don’t have proof yet, but love is a chemical imbalance of the brain. Somebody doesn’t text you for one second and you can’t eat? Is that one normal? Abeg, talk another thing. Have you tried finding a hobby? It gives the same dopamine , I promise. 

  • Daylight saving is the practice of skipping clocks (typically by one hour) during warmer months so that darkness falls at a later time.There’s nothing Nigerians like more than extra time, and daylight saving is just the solution we all need to get more of it. Just think about it.

    Less time to spend at your job

    You’re sick of it anyway. If we were saving daylight you’d spend less hours nursing and powering through a headache. Where is the bad side, please? 

    Less time to put up with people’s rubbish

    Every time I’m outside fraternising, I’m reminded of how annoying humans are. If we save daylight, you wouldn’t have any reason to be outside calling somebody’s grandmother a witch because she insulted your short skirt. 

    Less time to worry about breakfast/dinner

    The worst thing about growing up is endlessly having to decide what to eat. If the day ends faster, you can worry less about this. 

    Less time reminding everyone you’re single 

    If you’re always asleep by 10 PM instead of wallowing in your singleness and tweeting up a storm about it, you’d find yourself in less situationships, and might finally get used to a life of loneliness. Can’t see the downside, TBH. 

    A break from fearing men

    You know how we’re like, “Fear men 24 hours a day”? You’d have more time to rest from doing that now.

    More time to spend on hobbies 

    With those extra hours on your hands, you finally get to catch up on all the neighbourhood or family gossip. Or pretend you’re actually interested in DIY.

    You’re the family disappointment for less hours in a day

    All those aunties always reporting you to your parents will do it earlier in the day so you can rest and get over it faster. A win is a win. 

  • As a Nigerian, everything must feel a little too much right now, and your anxiety might be over the roof. If you’re a K-pop fan, here are seven things you can do to reduce the anxiety.

    Listen to your favourite song

    It can be an old one from when you first started stanning your faves or that one song that’s always ringing in your ear. Listen to it as many times as it’ll take for you to start dancing a little, so you know you’re getting relief. 

    Watch your favourite episodes of their reality TV shows

    Nothing gives you more joy than seeing your faves being their silliest, funniest selves. Laugh at them attempting to cook or cheating in games. Watch as many times as needed. 

    Reenact your favourite music video

    You’ve been lying to yourself for months that you’ll learn the dances anyway. Time to cross it off your bucket list. All that sweating around will have you forgetting all your problems for a while at least, and you get to learn something new

    Go on a marathon of your favourite band

    Think of it as a listening party of all your favourite songs by them. You’re helping them get more streams, and it’s sparking joy. A win is a win. 

    Cook a Korean dish

    Nothing too difficult or with ingredients that are too hard to find. Simple rice, cucumber kimchi and beef will do the trick. For bonus points, you can pretend you’re eating the meal with your faves. 

    Stalk your bias

    Be more intentional about it than normal. Make a collage of your best pictures, imagine dyeing your hair the same colour as theirs, just savour it. 

    Shop for merch

    Even if you don’t have the money to buy them yet just looking at them will fill your heart with so much happiness. But if you have money, buy something. Waiting for a package is an exciting feeling.

  • If you have an older sibling, you don’t know how lucky you are. You have someone to give you advice and clothes, someone who’ll always stand up for you when your parents are moving mad. But they struggle with things too. Their lives aren’t as perfect as it seems.

    Having all the best things

    As the older sibling, they bear the pressure of having all the nicest things. They need to get the coolest clothes and shoes for their younger siblings to steal. Must be rough. 

    RELATED: What if the Days of the Week Were Siblings?

    Becoming a parent too soon

    It all starts with them I spending their childhood babysitting kids. Then by the ripe age of 25, they’re asking their siblings questions like, “Who’s that boy you’re talking to?” or “Is that the shirt you’re wearing to follow me outside?” They’ve been so close to your parents for so long, they start to act like them. What a shame. 

    Dealing with unhappy staff siblings

    When the younger siblings were born, they thought they could breathe because their parents had given them unpaid house staff. But instead of the younger siblings to be happy to help, all they do is complain. 

    Being the favourite child

    Not everyone can handle being their parents’ favourite. Which happens naturally to them because they stress them out the least by being perfect. As a reward, they have to willingly listen to all their parents’ stories ten times. 

    Watching your siblings grow old

    As the older sibling, they get to watch their younger ones grow from screaming diaper-wearing infants to adults who drink their coffee black. They’re the only ones who remember in detail all the versions they’ve outgrown over the years. 

    Being poor because they spend all their money on bribes 

    They should be rich since they’ve been alive the longest, but alas, that’s not the case. Why? Because their siblings find tiny ways to bill them. They’ve bribed them to get out of trouble more times than any Nigerian politician trying to win an election. 

    Having all the best advice

    As an older sibling, they have to deal with the constant headache of using their brain too much. They spend all their time acquiring experience with bad friends and horrible partners to advise their siblings in their time of need. It’s a thankless service they take for granted.  

    READ ALSO: Yes, the Sibling Code Exists. How Many Do You Know?

  • We doubt you’d ace this quiz, but you’re welcome to prove us wrong.

    Choose all that apply:

  • Dating an upcoming musician is hell, but you can live with it if they use a stage name. But an upcoming tiktoker? Their face is their brand, so how will you hide your shame? Imagine thinking you’re dating a human being then mid argument, they start dancing and whining their waist? Here are signs to look out for to avoid stories that touch.

    They start saying “POV” before sentences

    You can ask, “What do you want to do this weekend?” and they’d say, “POV: We go to the club”. Block that person, please. You’re single now. 

    They take screenshots of “cute” texts between you guys

    Do they care that some apps announce screenshots? Absolutely not. Next thing you know, your ex who said you’d never find love is using the screenshot of your current partner telling you, “You sometimes look like the inside of a calabash, but they love you” to do, “This you?”

    They’re always trying to teach you a new dance 

    Do they care that you’re 23 with the bones of a 72-year-old who jumped buses for 50 years? Nope, all they want from you is the validation of those 30 likes, 45 views and one comment. 

    Or dancing in the middle of an argument

    If you had to think about this twice, it’s too late for you. 

    They do the randomest things to get your reaction

    You too deep it. She bought you a post-Valentine’s Day gift? And you think you’re safe?

    They share their password with you

    No, they don’t trust you. They just don’t have time to cheat. All they want is for you to easily unlock the phone and record their little dancey dance on the main road at a moment’s notice.

    Their phone is always charged

    Have you ever met a Tiktoker with low phone battery? Exactly. If your partner is always charging their phone, or walking around with those giant power banks, it’s because they’re secretly recording TikTok content. Break up now before it’s too late. 

    They have two phones 

    How can anybody afford two phones in this economy? It’s because they need it to record all those “I just woke up” videos. Next thing you know, they’re waking you up every morning by six a.m. to film them. 

    You’re always getting pranked

    At first, it was small things like recording you looking for your follow-come charger. Next thing, it’s you reacting to them cutting the 2k you you paid 500 to withdraw. Then, this upcoming tiktoker is “jokingly” using your certificate to wrap akara. 

    You don’t remember what hot food tastes like

    Why? Because by the time they’ve finished recording videos of the food from all angles, like a poorly made Indian movie, all it tastes like is the money plus 17% tax you spent on it. 

    They buy a big ring light

    Not those cute ones they can just attach to the phone and use at owambes. No, those gigantic ones photographers use to take pictures. If you don’t run, you’ll be the one carrying it around town last last. 

    They unbox things you know are not new

    Before God and man, you know that hair product they just unboxed is empty and has been so for two months. Why would you want to date a liar, aka an upcoming tiktoker on purpose? 

    READ ALSO: 11 Reasons Why You Should Never Date A Creative

  • This is the ultimate shege test. Let’s see how many you’ll score.

    Choose the ones that apply to you: