You ever craved food that’s so popular, but when you finally got the chance to try it, it was disappointing? These five Nigerians spoke to me about their first-time experiences tasting these popular foods.
“Harry Styles doesn’t value the vagina he was singing about” — Nini
I bought a pack of strawberries from Shoprite thinking I had arrived. Turns out, I hadn’t. They were bland. I wondered maybe it’s the ones I got, that maybe it’s like agbalumo — you need luck to get sweet ones. My sister laughed at me and told me strawberries only have aesthetics. Which is why I Iow-key feel like Harry Styles doesn’t value that vagina he was singing for, talmabout, “Tastes like strawberries, on a summer evening.” If I slap him.
“Meat pie was such a let-down” — Aishatu
When I was a child, I used to hate meat pie because of the filling. I could only stand Sweet Sensation’s meat pie crust because it reminded me of sausages. When I was 17 and broke AF, I had this insane craving for meat pie. A kiosk had just opened near my house and was the happening spot. I saved money to buy their meat pie and didn’t eat for the whole day. It was quite a struggle because I only ever saved up for books. When I bought the meat pie and went home, I was like, “Ahhh, I’m going to enjoy today!” But when I bit into the meat pie, it felt like I was tasting death.
“I vomited after eating pizza” — Joseph
I saw pizza a lot on TV: how excited people would get they ordered it and thought to myself that pizza must be really good. In 2016, I tried pizza for the first time. It tasted like eating mucus with dry bread. I threw up.
“No one actually likes seafood; it’s peer pressure” — TK
You see seafood on Insta stories when people do “We outside!” The day, I tried it, I was so mad. I bought a platter an oyster and one thing one thing like that at one of these fancy Lagos restaurants, and I couldn’t just eat it. I took photos of it and posted on IG sha, make I no carry last. When I left the restaurant, I went to The Place to buy jollof rice. God no go shame me.
“Dark chocolate looks nice. Egungun be careful” —Tobi
What can go wrong with chocolate? A lot. I mean, regular chocolate is great, and goes well with everything — cake, Milo, Ovaltine, etc. But omo, I regret the day my inquisitive ass used my own money to buy 70% dark chocolate. It looks as tempting as regular chocolate, but I’m lucky I didn’t buy pure chocolate like my friend. I’d have hated myself.
