Beer Deserves All the Hate It Gets. Here’s Why

April 21, 2022

Everyone has their vices, but there’s no reason why your vice should look like — or in this case, taste like — your problems. Especially as a Nigerian. So, if you like beer and you live in this unreal country, you must really not like yourself sha. And if you’ve been wondering why people hate it so much, here are the reasons:

1. It looks like urine 

Other alcoholic drinks try to be neat or attractive with their colours, so you’ll feel better about yourself when you drink them. But beer couldn’t even be bothered to try. It just went and decided to look like piss. That says a lot.

RELATED: Quiz: What Type Of Alcohol Are You?

2. It smells like ass

It tries to be kind to you by warning you in advance about its terrible smell, but the warning is never enough. Nothing should leave your breath smelling like spoilt eggs mixed with palm wine, but beer does that out of the wickedness of its heart.

3. It makes you bloated

Lowkey, every alcohol bloats you but beers own is just razz because why is it doing too much when you didn’t even enjoy drinking it in the first place? Honestly, beer could learn a little humility, Idk. 

4. Everyone has a problematic uncle that likes it

That’s a big red flag tbh. Notice how only people with bad vibes like beer. Or how, in Nollywood movies, the wicked man always drinks beer before coming home to beat his kids for no reason. Art mostly imitates life, and that’s on periodt. 

RELATED: QUIZ: If You’ve Drank 16/28 Of These Drinks, You’re An Alcoholic

5. Beer drunk is embarrassing 

If you get drunk after drinking beer, it’s never the cute type of drunk that makes you flirty or giggly. It just goes straight to agbero or makes you think about your life. So razz. 

6. It tastes like horror

If you’re going to drink alcohol, the least you can do is drink something that tastes sweet. You’re trying to avoid your problems or just get drunk for the sake of it, so why would you drink something that tastes like disappointment? 

READ ALSO: What Your Favourite Alcohol Says About You

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