Quizzes

Stacks

Shows

Podcasts

Newsletters

Naira Life

Love Life

Hustleprint

Love Currency

Sunken Ships

What She Said

My Bro

So You Don’t Have To

Interview With…

Zikoko Memes

Jollof Road

Cholera Outbreak Update

Follow our socials

  • Friendship is fun and games until your friend decides to cheat on their partner, then suddenly, you’re in the middle of drama you didn’t sign up for. 

    Would you keep quiet, confront them, or tell their partner the truth?  These Nigerians share how they handled the situation.

    “I learned to mind my business very quickly” — Chinasa*, (20), F

    Chinasa thought telling her friend’s partner the truth about her cheating was doing him a favour, but she quickly learned to keep unsolicited information to herself.

    “When a former close friend of mine started dating her long-time crush last year, I was delighted for her. They were a cute social media couple and popular in our community. The kind that made people say, “God when?”

    A few months later, a friend who lived in a different city told me about his new baby and even sent me her photo. To my surprise, it was my friend.

    At first, I was torn about what to do. But since I’d also developed a friendship with her boyfriend, I told him. He accused me of trying to scatter their relationship and said that even if she cheated, he’d forgive her because he loved her. Then he told my friend, and she came to pick a fight with me for betraying her. I kept my distance after that.

    They stayed together for another year before she cheated again, and he finally left. There’s no changing a dishonest person.”

    Get More Zikoko Goodness in Your Mail

    Subscribe to our newsletters and never miss any of the action

    “My friend stopped talking to me after I called him out for cheating” — Aanu*, (29), M

    Aanu shares how his friend cut him off when he chastised him for stepping out on his girlfriend.

    “This happened back when I was in uni. My neighbour was a good friend, dating a long-term girlfriend everyone in our friend group liked.

    One day, as I was returning to my apartment, I ran into an old flame coming out of our building. We talked for a bit, and she mentioned she had just visited my friend. I didn’t think much of it as we said our goodbyes.

    Later that evening, we were out for drinks when my friend started talking about the girl from earlier. He bragged about how they’d had sex and went into unnecessary details.. I was confused and asked if he had broken up with his girlfriend, and he said no. Then he tried to defend himself with some nonsense proverb— something like, “chickens that go out to eat still come home at night.”. 

    I told him straight up that I didn’t understand why anyone would be in a committed relationship if they still wanted to be in the streets. 

    It turned into a huge argument, and afterwards, he stopped talking to me. It hurt to lose our friendship but I don’t regret speaking up in the face of wrongdoing. Doesn’t matter if it’s my friend.”

    “I cut him off after I saw how he was treating his babe” — Eze*, (31), M

    Eze got tired of warning his friend to stop cheating on his girlfriend, and after the last straw, he cut him off completely.

    “My friend had been with his girlfriend for years. She was a sweet babe, always kind to everyone. I know relationships can get too comfortable after a while, so at first, I didn’t pay attention when I saw my friend flirting with other women occasionally.

    But he must have thought my silence meant I supported him,  because one day, right in my presence, he picked up a girl. I tried to caution him, dropping hints that it wasn’t a good idea, but he didn’t listen. They ended up spending a weekend together, and it changed how I saw him. 

    I didn’t think it was my place to tell his girlfriend since we weren’t close, so I kept it to myself. But I couldn’t seem him the same way again.. If he could treat the woman who had sacrificed so much for him like that, how would he treat me? I like to stay careful.”

    “I support women’s rights and wrongs” — Denike*, (30), F

    Denike doesn’t think cheating is cool, but if she believes it was a mistake, she’s willing to help her friend keep a secret.

    “Cheating is a dicey matter. I don’t think it’s right at all, but I also don’t think a small mistake should ruin a beautiful connection.

    In 2023, my friend showed up at my house crying. She had gone out drinking with an ex, and they ended up in bed. She felt guilty and wanted to confess to her boyfriend and break up because she felt she had betrayed him. I felt she was overreacting. I told her to cut off the ex permanently and keep quiet. Today, she’s still with her boyfriend, and they’re going strong. 

    However, I don’t extend this grace to my male friends. Men already get away with too much in this side of the world. Some even think it’s their right to cheat on their partners. For me, I support women’s rights and wrongs. As long as my friend wants to keep it lowkey and isn’t making it a habit, I’ll keep quiet.”

    “They almost turned my house upside down” — Akin*, (37), M

    Akin doesn’t say a word when he sees his friends cheating because he likes his life drama-free.

    “It’s no secret that guys cheat a lot. If I say I want to start warning every babe about their cheating partners, when will I have time to focus on my life? It only stirs unnecessary drama and I don’t want any part in it.

    Anytime I notice a friend cheating on his wife or girlfriend, I look the other way. I don’t think cheating is right. In fact, I don’t think you can do business with people who cheat. If they can do that to their most intimate partner, they’ll do worse to you. 

    The last time I told someone her husband was cheating, my house was almost turned upside down. My friend’s wife would call me every time she suspected he was cheating again, and my friend would come to my house whenever he wanted to escape her wahala. It became exhausting. 

    Now, if I know you’re a cheat, I just make you a drinking buddy. I don’t want any connection strong enough for your wife to have my number and be calling me like I’m her dad. I have enough on my plate, please.”

    [ad][/ad]

    “We had to go and beg his wife to forgive him” — Lekan*, (62), M

    Lekan would never talk about it if he found out his friend was cheating. For him, if it’s worth knowing about, his friend will speak up.

    “If a married man is simply playing around outside with a woman or two, it’s not a big deal. I wouldn’t say anything if I saw my friend doing that. 

    But, if he wants to take another wife, which may destabilise his home, or the lady gets pregnant, then we, his friends, can step in and advise him. 

    In 2014, one of my friends got exposed when his wife found out about another woman. He rushed to tell us, and as his friends, we did what we could. We went with him to his house to beg his wife and seek forgiveness. Thankfully, she took him back. 

    As long as my friend doesn’t openly disrespect his wife and keeps things quiet, his secret is safe with me.”

    See what people are saying about this article on social media

    Here’s Your Next Read: 10 Husbands, 1 Question: Would You Marry Your Wife Again?

  • Cheating can feel like a death sentence for a relationship, but for some Nigerians, it’s not the end, it’s just the beginning of a new, often complicated dynamic.

    Whether it’s rebuilding trust, setting new rules, or staying for reasons beyond love, we spoke to seven people about what it really means to move forward after infidelity.

    “I forgave her, but she’ll never have male friends again”

    For *Wale, 32, staying meant regaining control of his relationship. His girlfriend had always reassured him that her male best friend was “like a brother” to her. Then he found out they had been sleeping together.

    “I had two choices: walk away or make sure it never happened again. I love her, so I chose the latter. But I made it clear that if she wanted to prove she was serious about earning my trust back, she had to cut off all her male friends. No unnecessary interactions, no casual texting, nothing. It’s been two years, and she’s kept her promise. Do I still have doubts sometimes? Yes. But at least I know she’s no longer putting herself in situations where it can happen again.”

    “Every time he cheats, I make him invest in something expensive”

    For some people, cheating is a dealbreaker. For *Toke, 29, it’s an opportunity. She knows her partner will never stop cheating, so she’s making sure she benefits from it.

    “The first time I caught him, I was devastated. The second time, I was just mad at myself for thinking it wouldn’t happen again. By the third time, I had a new strategy. If you want to embarrass me, you must pay for it. Literally. So every time he messes up, he has to put money towards something big — my business, property, or even my savings. I don’t know when I’ll leave, but when I do, I’ll be leaving comfortably.”

    “I thought I could handle it, but I couldn’t” 

    Some people think they can forgive until the reality of betrayal sets in. *Uche, 29, opens up about the mistrust that plagued his relationship after an episode of infidelity.

    “When my girlfriend cheated, I told myself that if I truly loved her, I would fight for our relationship. I convinced myself it was just a mistake. But every time she picked up her phone, my stomach turned. Every time she went out, I wondered if she was lying about where she was going. I became someone I didn’t recognise. I was constantly checking her WhatsApp messages, second-guessing every ‘babe, I love you’. I lasted six months before I realised I was just punishing myself. I should have left the first time, and that was what I eventually had to do.”

    TAKE THE QUIZ: This Quiz Knows if You’ll Forgive a Cheating Partner

    “He doesn’t know that I know, and I want to keep it that way” 

    Not everyone confronts their cheating partner. Some choose to stay quiet, but it’s not because they’ve chosen to accept less. *Fola, 24, shares how she plans to deal with the situation.

    “I found out my boyfriend was cheating a year into our relationship, but I never told him. Why? Because I needed time to figure out my next move. He thinks I’m in the dark, but I’m quietly preparing myself for whatever happens next. I’ve doubled my savings and started looking for a new hostel apartment. I’ve also started accommodating other potentials who I turned down before. The day I finally leave, I want it to be on my terms, not as the heartbroken girlfriend begging for respect. Also, I want it to hurt.”

    [ad]

    “I forgave him because I wasn’t ready to start over”

    Starting over can feel more complicated than staying, and that was the real challenge for *Mariam, 27. She shares:

    “We had been together for five years, and I had already built my life around him. The thought of leaving and starting over exhausted me more than the cheating itself. So I forgave him. Or at least, I’m trying. The thing about cheating is, you can’t un-know it. Even when things feel normal, there’s always that small voice in your head asking, ‘What if he’s doing it again?’ But I made my choice, and now I have to live with it.”

    “We tried an open relationship. It didn’t work” 

    Some people try to balance the betrayal by making new rules. For *Jude, 32, that experiment was short-lived.

    “My fiance cheated, and instead of leaving, we had an honest conversation about why she did it. She admitted she had felt tempted for a while, but because we were in a committed relationship, she didn’t know how to express it. So, we decided to try an open relationship. The idea was that we could both explore, but always come home to each other. Sounds great in theory, right? Well, three months in, I realised I hated it. I couldn’t stomach the thought of her with someone else, even though she had already cheated. I thought I was being progressive, but I was just setting myself up for more heartbreak. We had to come to a resolution that involved walking away.”

    “We built something better after therapy” 

    While some people stay out of fear, obligation, or convenience, others like *Jide, 34, choose to fight for a healthier relationship. 

    “My wife cheated three years into our marriage. At first, I wanted nothing to do with her. But after weeks of talking, crying, and asking every ‘why’ possible, I realised I still wanted to be with her. We started therapy, and it helped us rebuild from the ground up. It wasn’t easy, but I can honestly say our marriage is stronger now. We communicate better, we set boundaries, and we’re more intentional about our love. Staying isn’t for everyone, but I’m glad I did.”

    Being cheated on is one thing; moving forward is another. Whether you stay, get even, or leave, healing takes time. Here’s a useful guide on healing a broken heart that can help you move on.

    READ THIS NEXT: I Cheated With Him, but I Won’t Cheat on Him

  • Jeremiah* talks about his rollercoaster relationship with Mariam*, her constant cheating, how it affected them, and why he stayed, regardless.

    This is Jeremiah’s* story, as told to Chioma.

    I met Mariam* in 2013. We met through a friend, and there was just something intriguing about her. She was different, with all these layers, but she had a kind heart. 

    I wanted her. I wanted to be her knight in shining armour. In retrospect, that was my saviour complex throbbing with glee. Also, it didn’t hurt that she had a bombastic bunda. 

    After talking for four months, we finally got together. I don’t think we had a honeymoon phase. One second, we were getting to know each other as friends; the next, we were in a relationship, and she was accusing me of sleeping with every girl who walked my way.

    It was ridiculous, but I still had my Superman cape on, and I tried to convince her that she was the only one I had eyes for. She had unrestricted access to my phone. I reassured her of our love every chance I got, but she never let it go. 

    See, Mariam* believed all men were cheats. She said, “I would rather trust a snake than a man”. So, as a card-carrying member of the male gender, I was a cheat too. It hurt, but I was determined to make it work, so I took it on the chin, and we continued dating.

    [ad]

    Then, I started getting uneasy about our relationship. I was being open about everything. She had access to my phone, and I would answer calls in front of her. She knew every step I took, but I was always left in the dark for some reason. Mariam* had CBN-level security on her phone. She would walk away from me and answer calls in hushed tones. Every time I asked her why she was moving like a drug dealer on steroids, she would brush it off. 

    After two years of constant cheating accusations, she finally met her Waterloo. She left her phone unlocked for some reason, and I saw her notifications, one said, “Don’t treat me like this. I love you.” I got curious and decided to go through her chats. Worst mistake of my life. I almost threw up. She was talking to three different guys, with one being married. 

    When I confronted her, she got upset that I had caught her and went on to gaslight me. She blamed me for her cheating ways, said it was because I wasn’t being serious with her, and we hadn’t gotten married yet.

    I didn’t know how to feel. I was relieved because we had finally found the cheater in our relationship, and it wasn’t me; I was angry because she was most likely having sex with these men without protection like she was with me. Now that I think about it, though, I should have felt like an idiot. I allowed her to convince me that her cheating was my fault because I hadn’t shown her how serious I was about her.

    We stayed together after our little cheating hurdle, and our relationship intensified. She wanted me to show her I was serious, so I did. But that did nothing for our relationship. We broke up a year later, in 2016, and she went on to get married to one of the men she cheated on me with.

    RECOMMENDED: He Cheated on Me, but I’ll Take Him Back in a Heartbeat

  • Funmbi* talks about her relationship with James*, the incidents that led to their breakup, and the possibility of getting back with the love of her life.

    Image created with Starryai

    This is Funmbi’s* story, as told to Chioma.

    I met James* on Tinder in 2021. He was sweet and hilarious, so we exchanged contacts and started talking, but it all fizzled out after a while. 

    One night, I was ranting on my WhatsApp status, and he reached out to check on me. He called me again the following day, and we spoke for about two hours. Before it ended, he gave me a gig. It was the nicest thing anyone had done for me that month.

    After that, we just continued talking to each other. He was smart and kind, and the next thing I knew, I was convincing myself that my school in Ilorin wasn’t even that far from Lagos, where he was, and long-distance relationships weren’t that bad. I knew he wanted to ask me out, and he was just waiting for the right moment, but I didn’t have the patience for that, so two weeks later, I asked him to be my boyfriend.

    Our relationship was great. He was the best boyfriend anyone could ask for, and we had this communication rule to make sure the long distance didn’t affect us as much, but I knew something would go wrong. I assumed the worst and hatched a plan for when it happened. So I already thought of the worst thing—him cheating—and then I told myself that he was probably already doing it.

    I wasn’t wrong.

    James and I were heavy on communication, calls, texts, notes by pigeon. As long as we got to speak to each other constantly, we would do it. Two months into our relationship, I started noticing a communication gap. He would disappear for hours and come back without explanation, so one day, I decided to go to Lagos and see what was happening. I had an event to attend, I had cash, and all this man had to do was pick me up from my friend’s place and take me to his house. We needed to talk, and most importantly, we needed to have sex.

    I waited all day for James to show up, but he didn’t. I was livid. I had travelled from Illorin to see him, but he couldn’t drive from Ajah to Lekki to pick me up.  I wanted to be petty. I wanted to do something to spite him, so I had sex with the friend I was staying with. 

    I swear, it didn’t mean anything. To me, sex isn’t such a big deal. I mean, it is, but only when you attach meaning to it, and as far as I was concerned, sex outside a relationship was as meaningless as it came. 

    I think that’s why I was able to forgive him when he finally confessed to cheating on me the first time.

    He came to pick me up from that friend’s house, and after we spoke about the communication gap in our relationship, he confessed. I forgave him after a couple hours because, well, I did just cheat on him, too, but I still loved him, and I already knew he was cheating. He lived in Lagos. We were doing long distance. He gets horny at least twice a week, and he’s a hot guy. There’s too much fish in the river for him not to be tempted. 

    I didn’t want to lose him, and I had a feeling it would happen again because how do you ask a man to stay celibate because of long distance? In Lagos? It’s like begging water and oil to mix. It’s like trying to say Tinubu should approve a ₦400k minimum wage. It won’t work.

    I suggested we open up our relationship. We would still love each other and be together, but we could sleep with whomever we pleased and talk about it. He went ballistic and said he didn’t want that. I think his ego couldn’t handle the thought of someone else touching me. Instead of opening up our relationship, he decided we would take a break and try to sort out our issues. I was fine with that, and then I found out he used that time to cheat again. I gave up after that, and we broke up. 

    It’s been a year since we broke up, and we’ve built a really good friendship.

    The friendship is golden.

    He japa’d last August and has been trying to get me to move. That’s a more complicated discussion. But I still love him a lot, and I know it’s mutual to some extent.

    Want to know something crazy? If he asks me to give it another shot, even with him thousands of miles away, I just might say yes.

  • It’s one thing to find out your partner shares their genitals around town like a blunt at a party. It’s another thing to find out your friend’s partner is doing the same. But what do you do this time? Do you tell them, keep it to yourself, or take matters into your own hands and tell them to square up on the Third Mainland Bridge?

    You don’t have to make this decision on your own. Here’s what you should do.

    Consider how close you and your friend are

    We’re not telling you to repay evil with evil, but think long and hard about this friendship. Would they give you the last slice of pizza just because? Would they fight for you?  Would they call you a jealous witch, ask you to get out of their sight, and then report you to their philandering partner? Think about it.

    Ignore the situation

    If you live in Nigeria, there are already a million and one things you could pour your time and attention into. Someone else’s relationship doesn’t have to be one of them. So consider ignoring the entire situation; focus more on how your village people and internet provider are conspiring to frustrate you out of a job.

    Get proof they’re a cheat

     We understand that, like goats,  some people are stubborn AF.  So, if you’re going to tell your friend that their partner is community property, at least do it with evidence before they call you everything but the name your mother gave you.

    Psst! Where are our Zikoko Ships now?

    Find out how three of our Ships are doing five years later: 

    Spoiler alert: it’s lovey-dovey :face_holding_back_tears::people_hugging:

    Ignore the cheat

    It might be tempting to confront and punch them in the face but don’t do it. They’ll take it to your friend and lie their ass off before you even get to tell on their cheating ass.

    Don’t ignore the cheat

    After showing your friend the evidence you’ve gathered about how their partner wines and dines with Lucifer, consider spraying “cheat” in big, bold letters on their car. Public embarrassment for publicly embarrassing your friend doesn’t sound bad.

    Drop hints

    If you don’t know how to tell your friend that they’re in a loveless relationship with the weapon fashioned against them, consider doing it with a billboard. Put “Mmesoma, your partner is a roaring cheat with no self-control” on a billboard and hope they get the message.

    Consider doing it anonymously 

    Buy a new sim card or open a burner account on Instagram and tell them the truth, complete with evidence (before they cuss you and your good heart out). Now you can rest; you’ve done your part. 

  • Wake up to a picture of 2face every morning

    Your journey is long, so you need to take inspiration from the greats that have come before you.

    Know why you’re doing it

    Are you bored? Do you want money? Better sex? Or do you just not have sense? Whatever it is, at least know why so when your partner catches you, you won’t blame the devil.

    Gauge how wicked you want to be

    Know how far you’re willing to go with your infidelity. We’re big advocates of punching above your weight, so we’ll advise you to put in your best.

    Stay focused

    Don’t get distracted by guilt, because you don’t need it. Clearly, your conscience isn’t in the front seat here, it’s probably not even in the car.  Why let it distract you?

    Do normal, don’t be extra sweet after cheating

    This is how people get caught. There’s a chance that you’ll feel the need to send random “I love you so much” texts to your partner to ease the guilt. Don’t. Carry your cross in peace.

    When you’re caught, say it’s the devil’s work

    Of course, the devil put you naked in bed with “a friend”.

    And don’t mention Zikoko’s name

    What’s our own in this, please? We respect your relationship only as much as you do. We’ll deny you if you mention our name.

    NEXT READ: 6 Nigerian Men Talk About Why They Cheated On Their Partners

  • We already know love is a scam and breakfast is flying ear and dear, but if you have coconut head and still went to enter relationship, these tests will prove your lover isn’t cheating. 

    You’ve been noticing a change in your partner’s behaviour lately

    You’ve asked many times, but they just say it’s nothing and they’re just tired. 

    My dia, they’re cheating! 

    We know we’re right, but if you’re still in doubt?

    Check their phone 

    If you’re scared of checking your partner’s phone, then you probably already know the truth. Just open their WhatsApp and search for the word “boyfriend” or “girlfriend”, and read through all the conversations you’ve been mentioned. You’ll either find them singing your praises or straight-up denying you. 

    Check their best friend’s phone

    Finding nothing incriminating in your lover’s phone doesn’t exonerate them. It could just mean they’re careful and don’t leave any evidence of their cheating. Go on to their bestie’s phone. If there’s anyone who knows the secrets, it’ll be them. 

    Post a picture of you and your lover online and tag them

    Why waste time doing any investigation when Nigerians can do it for you. Post a cute picture of you guys with a caption about how there’s no one like them in the whole wide world. Make sure this post is on Twitter, and wait for the bad belles. If they’re cheating, someone will expose them with receipts.  

    Ask for their bank statement 

    If they’re cheating, there’s going to be a money trail. Check their expenses against the information they gave you. They said they were working late last Wednesday, but you’re seeing a debit of ₦25k on the Island at 10 p.m ?  

    Tell them you want a break

    They’ll either be relieved because they can now cheat in peace and blame it on the break. Or they’ll act upset because they think you want to go and cheat too. 

    Surprise them at their office 

    Maybe they’re not lying about spending all their time at work. But it could be because they’re having an affair with their office husband or wife. Show up unannounced and shock them.

    Ask them to try a different barber 

    If a man agrees to cheat on his barber, he’s definitely cheating on you. And yes, same applies to your girlfriend trying a different salon. 

    Accuse them of cheating 

    If they get angry, they’re 100% cheating. If they start laughing and make jokes about it? They’re not just cheating; they’re planning their marriage behind your back. 

    Ask them to swear 

    Simple and effective. Ask your partner to swear on their football team, expensive weave or new iPhone, and watch them crumble in defeat. 

    Send them tweets about cheating partners

    They say a clear conscience fears no accusation, right? Start forwarding all the gists you see about cheating partners to them to get their take. 

    You’ll need this next: The Zikoko Guide To Staying With A Cheating Man 

  • There are times when you see things that other people have that you like and want. Sometimes, what you want is somebody else’s boyfriend. Here are the pros and cons of doing that first. 

    Pro: You can enjoy his money with no feelings attached 

    You can finish his money without feeling guilty. You’re not his partner, so you don’t have to worry about his future or the future of your relationship. If he can’t afford to pay rent, it doesn’t affect you because you’re not the one that’ll end up with him. Spend that man’s money with your full chest. 

    Con: They will beat you 

    See ehn, if by any chance you’re caught, they will beat you shege and disgrace you. You may end up in the ICU. Don’t say we didn’t warn you. 

     

    Pro: You get to fornicate with other people without guilt 

    He’s not your boyfriend, so no commitment. That means you can fornicate with as many people as you want without feeling guilty. If he begins to complain, tell him he should go and meet his babe and not stress you. 

    Con: You can’t complain if they cheat 

    As you’re doing your own, just know that he can do his own too. Because he’s cheating with you doesn’t mean that you’re the only one. And you’re in no position to get jealous or upset because he’s not your man. 

    Pro: You get a boyfriend 

    You may get some of the perks of having a boyfriend, such as dates, cute messages, gifts, etc. At the same time, you don’t have to do the duties that a partner would, such as family visits, being friends with his friends or worrying too much about fighting. 

    Con: You have to hide 

    You may have to travel to FESTAC to find a decent place to spend time together, where the original person that owns the man, won’t catch you. If you go anywhere public, friends of his partner or the actual partner may see you. And kasala might burst. 

     ALSO READ: The Nigerian Lover’s Guide to Cheating Respectfully

    ALSO READ: What’s the Difference Between Main Boyfriend Penis and Side Guy

    Pro: You don’t have to do too much 

    His actual partner has everything covered. In terms of gifts, intentional communication, quality time, etc. You don’t have to make too much of an effort; somebody is already doing all the hard work. Just show up, collect what you want to collect, and go. 

    Con: You’ll be hidden

    He probably saves your name as MTN. SMH no manners.

    Pro: He’ll give you a dick to ride on 

    When he’s upset about something that happened with his partner, he’ll come to you for comfort. Added to that comfort,  is fornication. After all, I’m-upset-and-I-need-someone-to-talk-to knacks is the second-best type of sex after we-shouldn’t-be-doing-this sex. 

    Con: You’re always a shoulder to cry on

    On the flip side, every time he and his partner fight, he’ll come and cry and whine to you, and that’s not what you signed up for. You’re not there to help him sort out his relationship issues. 

    ALSO READ: 6 Unmissable Signs You’re The Side Guy