annoying | Zikoko!

It is normal for humans to get less tolerant of certain things the older they get. You tend to start paying attention to certain things and get more annoyed by them. Here’s a list of things that get more annoying the older you get:

1. Unnecessary Noise.

Why is the neighbour already shouting by 8 am in the morning?. It honestly makes no sense. The older we get, the more peace and quiet we want in our lives. Easy, please.

2. Lies and Liars.

Hmm, Yoruba men are about to leave the chat. No one is going to beat you if you tell the truth. Lies are not only annoying, but they are also very disrespectful. No adult has time to deal with incessant liars. If you really need to lie, please talk to a wall. T for Tenks

3. Tasteless food.

Tasteless food is annoying, whether you are old or young, but tasteless food bought with your last cash is the most annoying. Buying food with your last cash and not enjoying it is enough to ruin your day.

4. Slow and lazy people.

Be fast please, no one has time to waste.

5. Persistent phone calls

Instant messaging exist for a purpose; if you’ve called more than once and the person has not picked up, just send a text. Persistent phone calls are only acceptable if you want to dash us money.

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6. Kids

Children are so annoying, especially the ones who don’t come with a return policy. Yeah, they are cute sometimes- when they are not asking you one million annoying questions. “Aunty Joke, how do you know my dad?”

7. Work

It’s 2021, money should have started growing on trees by now. The concept of work is so annoying and unnecessary. Can’t we just sleep and wait till the money comes to meet us?

8. Living with your parents

Living with your Nigerian parents would test your patience in more ways than you can imagine. Even when you know you love them very much, you’ll still be annoyed with them 24/7.
There’s already all the annoying things about salary week, but new weeks can be another struggle and we don’t talk about it enough.

Let’s see which one you can relate with the most.

1. Motivational quotes

Everybody is suddenly so ‘motivated’ for the new week. Set awon aspire to perspire. That’s when you’ll get broadcast wishes on WhatsApp no one bothers reading. Wait until someone splashes dirty water on the shirt you took three hours to iron.

2. Monday blues

There should be a bill to place a ban on it because what is this day of the week, but stress?

3. Routines

It’s the activities you did the previous week, that you still have to repeat this week. They may just wear sexier clothes.

4. To-dos

You actually have to go out there and do the things that can help you make money to shake your ass on a yacht. Welcome to adulting.

5. Thursday tears

You’re probably wondering why it’s on this list. Well, Thursday is the sibling of Friday no one really likes. Can you move? It’s Friday we want.
No matter how long you avoid any physical human interaction, the minute you step out, at least one of these 7 things just might happen.

Some are annoying, while others are downright embarrassing.

1. Locking eyes with a stranger

It usually doesn’t last more than a split second, but can be super uncomfortable. You quickly avert your eyes wondering what all that was about, except you want to flirt. That’s another story.

2. Waving to someone who was in fact waving to someone else behind you

This one can be more embarrassing than annoying. Better do as if it’s your ear you wanted to scratch with the hand you raised.

3. Getting your clothing stuck between your buttocks

Kanipe you are in your house now, you can do the needful. But with all these eyes roaming, how e go be? Just remember to breathe.

4. ATM not dispensing

So you stood in line for thirty minutes, only for the money to finish when it got to your turn? It’s things like this that make life tough. Even more annoying is how the people behind you will feel you have bad luck.

5. Random people touching you

Asides being in trying times virus wise, whatever happened to people keeping their hands to themselves? Spray sanitiser on anyone that tries this.

6. Someone stepping on your footwear from behind

It’s as if some people don’t look in front of them when walking. They will step on your footwear from behind and probably even cut it in the process. That’s not the annoying part. Wait till the first thing they say is: “Are you not seeing?” Boya you should grow eyes behind your head.

7. Stepping on gum

Shoe that you just bought. See this thing is annoying. Lord help the culprit if you find them.
The older Nigerians get, the more annoying they become. They think that because they are old, they can say and do anything without repercussions. Unfortunately for them, this generation is not having any of their nonsense. We’ve highlighted some of the most annoying things they say below.

1. If you leave, who will build the country?

When you were younger, why didn’t you build the country, oh wise one? Why did you leave it to us? Dear older Nigerians, we are tired abeg, Bob the builder no do reach this one.

Did we spoil the country first?

2. The youths are lazy

When they say this, they mean to say that the government is consistent in frustrating the efforts of the youth. Surely, they can’t be looking at all the things the youths do to earn a living and still call them lazy.

With all due respect, please shut up.

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3 . Nigeria was good in my days

Yes, we are aware. Titus’ sardine is five hundred naira and one sachet of water is now twenty naira. We know how bad things are, no one made you the minister of reminders.

What are we supposed to do with that information bayi?

4. All you do is press your phone

Just because they use their phones to play Candy Crush and send scary WhatsApp broadcast messages, they really can’t see how we could use our phone’s to do something good for our lives. Mention that you have a headache, and they’ll blame your phone pressing habits.

pov: a millennial pressing her phone.

5. Dress the way you want to be addressed

What does this even mean? Just because we’ve chosen not to wear suits to work anymore? Do they not know how hot this country is? Like I’m sorry you wasted your youth dressing like an old person, but if you can’t handle a bad bitch, don’t give birth to one.

6. Using your left hand is rude

I thought God created all things equally, but older Nigerians in their usual annoying way have proven that it is an insult to use your hand even if you’re a southpaw. Wahala oh.

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7. I have children your age at home

So do our parents, you’re not special. By the way, never in the history of demanding respect has saying this in an argument ever helped.

8. You’d understand when you’re older

Some people have been “older” for many years now, and they still don’t understand a lot of things, everybody should just get out.

9. I carried you as a baby

Okay, thank you for your service to humanity, do you want an award or something? Notice how it’s always that one person you don’t even know?

10. You’re so big now

So here’s the thing about human beings, dear egbon, they grow. It happened to you and our parents, and now it has happened to us. Thanks for pointing it out though.
If up to 12 things on this list apply to you, you were very annoying in primary school.

Check all that apply to you:

You had a trolley bag.

You had that orange water bottle.

You didn’t share your water.

You brought indomie to school.

You had extra pencils but never shared.

You said your mummy said nobody should touch your head.

You made baby with cardigan.

You wore frilly socks.

You wrote names of noisemakers unprovoked.

You reminded teachers about assignments.

You reported every little thing to your teachers.

You didn’t share glucose during inter-house sports.

You were the relative of a teacher.

You had an elder sibling that was a prefect.

You made catapult with rubber band and paper.

You called people’s seat partner their husband/wife.

You did first to finish writing competition.

You didn’t let people sharpen their pencil when you were at the dustbin.

You lied that you were asthmatic.

You wore glasses that had rope.

You checked off #{score} out of #{total}
You weren’t annoying at all.
You checked off #{score} out of #{total}
You were kind of annoying.
You checked off #{score} out of #{total}
You were extremely annoying.
If there’s a mantra to your life, it is one thing: adulting is a scam. Big scam. I don’t know what it was that made it seem like being an adult was an epic trip, but it is a scam. We were had, took, hoodwinked, bamboozled, led astray, run amok and flat-out deceived about adulting.

Adulting sold us dreams. Here are a few of the lies we were sold by adulting.

1. That when you grew up, you would eat all the meat you wanted from the soup.

Now you can eat it, but at what cost?

2. The responsibilities

There are so many responsibilities that came with adulting. Bills, work, family responsibilities… it never ends.

3. You thought you would go to uni, graduate and get a great job immediately.

If only you knew.

4. Being broke

Nobody prepared you for being broke all the damn time.

5. You thought you would have met the love of your life

Now where is the love of your life? HaqHaqHaq.

6. Having to take care of your self when you fall sick

This one is the worst. Nobody to pamper you. Worst part is that you have to pay for your drugs with your own money. Ghetto.

7. Getting enough sleep

As a child, you hated that you had to go to bed early and looked forward to staying up as long as you wanted when you became an adult. Now you can’t get enough sleep.

You know what? For reading to the end, here’s a bonus article you should read: 5 Annoying Post-Lockdown Expenses That You Can’t Escape
My fellow enraged video recorders, I welcome you. If your sibling is on this table, call them out.

1) Pass naked in the background.

How can I be related to this kind of human being?

2) Sing in the background.

Well done, Bariga Adele.

3) Open or close the door loudly.

Sign one million on the need to get your own space.

4) Come to beg for bread or something ridiculous.

Is it crack? Why now?

5) Play loud music.

If I slap you and FireBoy.

6) Exist.

Stressor.

7) Give unsolicited commentary.

Will you keep quiet?

8) Remove your wig.

Or something equally annoying to embarrass you.

9) Beg to feature in the video.

Why are you acting like we’re related or something?
Don’t tell me it’s just a movie when the thing pained me deep down and it’s still paining me many years down the line. Please, don’t.

Here is a list of some of the most annoying fictional characters to have ever come on screen.

1) Home Alone.

These guys gave everyone of us hyptertension.

2) Game of Thrones.

Put these two inside dustbin and throw it into the ocean.

3) Matilda.

The evil principal Trunchbull did is enough. I can’t get this scene out of my head.

4) Baby’s Day Out.

These rogues. Gbomo gbomo with international exposure.

5) Money Heist.

Shoot this guy already.

6) Koto Aiye.

The witches were just too wicked.

7) 101 Dalmatians.

Leave our bingos alone.

8) Samurai Jack.

Aku was really the shape shifting master of all stressors.

9) Prison Break.

T-bag = cunning-back-stabbing-selfish-man.

9) Living in Bondage

Andy Okeke, you no try at all. After all Merit did for you.

10) Diamond Ring.

Hate this one for going to university, joining a cult, and then going grave-robbing with that cult (causing ghost Liz Benson to fuck his family up) even though his family was super rich and could afford to get him literally anything he wanted!

11) October 1.

Father, why?

12) Skinny Girl In Transit.

Kwame, it’s on sight.

13) Eran Iya Osogbo.

Hated everything about this movie. Why does it even exist?

Click here for happy thoughts.
Does anyone else get the urge to tackle their computers to the ground and pummel it till it’s nothing but a pile of scraps and crackling electricity? Just me? Maybe I have anger issues, then. Anyways, here are 4 ways the internet annoys you every day.

1) Certain sites making you take captcha tests to ensure that you’re human.

The irony of a fucking machine making me prove I’m a human. We’ve given these things too much power.

2) When you’re trying to change your password to some platform because it insists the one you tried to log in with was wrong but then proceeds to tell you this:

WTF?! *flips virtual furniture*

3) When you’re creating a password to a platform and the platform insists that your password can’t just be a simple word or sequence of numbers and must include an upper case letter, a lower case letter, a number, a rune, 3 hieroglyphs, and a cave drawing of a pre-historic orgy.

“WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!“

4) When you try to log in to a platform and it says that your password or email address is wrong, leaving you confused and wondering:

“You are a social media site and not the cave of wonders! TELL ME WHICH ONE!!”

Click here for happy thoughts.
Look, if you read this and call me lazy, that’s your own business. Me I’m sha going to say my own. These 5 chores I’m about to list are annoying AF and, if you can afford it, should be outsourced to people willing to be paid for it.

1) Cooking

All the stress you go through (getting the ingredients ready, doing the timing, mixing, stirring, washing up after etc) is just not worth it for one measly ass meal. This might sound like terrible advice but EAT OUT AND SAVE YOUR ENERGY.

2) Dishes

The worst time to do this is after you’ve had guests over who, because they didn’t want to seem hungry, didn’t finish their food. So, now there aren’t just dirty dishes everywhere, there’s crusty and/or slimy food in them. Even worse is when you’re almost done and some asshole just shows up and drops their plate.

3) Bathroom Cleaning

What the fuck is she smiling about??

This includes everything (toilets, bathtubs, sinks, floors etc). Having to be on your hands and knees for a long period of time so you can properly get rid of all the grime is the absolute ghetto! Your back and waist will hurt like hell for hours after.

4) Laundry

All that scrubbing will leave your hands looking more wrinkly than a shrunken 85-year-old scrotum in cold weather. Then there’s hanging the clothes out to dry and taking them back in to fold.

5) Ironing

No matter how hard you iron, the wrinkles just refuse to go away! Of course, you think the iron isn’t hot enough, so you turn up the heat and end up burning a hole in your favourite shirt. Mscthewwww.

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1. Unnecessary Noise.

2. Lies and Liars.

3. Tasteless food.

4. Slow and lazy people.

5. Persistent phone calls

6. Kids

7. Work

8. Living with your parents

1. Motivational quotes

2. Monday blues

3. Routines

4. To-dos

5. Thursday tears

1. Locking eyes with a stranger

2. Waving to someone who was in fact waving to someone else behind you

3. Getting your clothing stuck between your buttocks

4. ATM not dispensing

5. Random people touching you

6. Someone stepping on your footwear from behind

7. Stepping on gum

1. If you leave, who will build the country?

2. The youths are lazy

3 . Nigeria was good in my days

4. All you do is press your phone

5. Dress the way you want to be addressed

6. Using your left hand is rude

7. I have children your age at home

8. You’d understand when you’re older

9. I carried you as a baby

10. You’re so big now

Questions

This is a question

Check all that apply to you:

You checked off #{score} out of #{total}

You checked off #{score} out of #{total}

You checked off #{score} out of #{total}

1. That when you grew up, you would eat all the meat you wanted from the soup.

2. The responsibilities

3. You thought you would go to uni, graduate and get a great job immediately.

4. Being broke

5. You thought you would have met the love of your life

6. Having to take care of your self when you fall sick

7. Getting enough sleep

1) Pass naked in the background.

2) Sing in the background.

3) Open or close the door loudly.

4) Come to beg for bread or something ridiculous.

5) Play loud music.

6) Exist.

7) Give unsolicited commentary.

8) Remove your wig.

9) Beg to feature in the video.

1) Home Alone.

2) Game of Thrones.

3) Matilda.

4) Baby’s Day Out.

5) Money Heist.

6) Koto Aiye.

7) 101 Dalmatians.

8) Samurai Jack.

9) Prison Break.

9) Living in Bondage

10) Diamond Ring.

11) October 1.

12) Skinny Girl In Transit.

13) Eran Iya Osogbo.